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Backstory – Because She Loves Him
This is a story you will relate to if you have been married for a long time. If not, let it be some good advice to assure that your marriage lasts a long time.
It’s about dealing with one of those things that maddens you about your partner. You know the kind of thing. It’s totally insignificant, in the big picture. No, it will not matter, five years from now. And yet you wish against wish that he just would not do that, or that she would remember to do that.
Isn’t it funny; the things we choose over which to get upset? It could be an issue left over from childhood. It could be a reminder of an embarrassing incident or one that you would rather forget. Could be something that goes against your values to the point where you want to explode.
This Consider This explores strategies to handle the frustration. What do you do about it? Talk it through? Holler and throw dishes? Get angry and sulk? None of those is known to result in positive outcomes. So maybe you take up kick boxing or pull out your Crayolas and adult coloring book, or hire a therapist.
Seems the woman in our story came up with an even better idea. See if you agree with her strategy.
Consider This Show – Because She Loves Him
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They were leaving that day for a few weeks in Florida. The wife had made her lists, put her stuff together, had check marks on just about everything on the list and was ready to go.
The husband . . . well, he was still deciding which fishing poles to take. The car had not gotten washed as he planned and not everyone was informed of what was expected of them while the couple was away.
She could find it maddening. Why hadn’t he spent his time doing his share? She could yell . . . Bang around . . . Scold him and put him down.
Instead, she went and read a book, ignoring the sounds of his hustling. You see, she loves him. And she found out years ago that he is who he is. And not being ready on time is one of his traits. She could hate it and fight it or she could find a way to cope.
So she stretches the truth a bit, telling him they have to leave at noon, when the actual ETD is 2 p.m. She knows that with a few extra hours, he’ll almost be ready. She’ll then gently remind those things he was most likely to forget, and they’ll be on their way – perhaps a little late but happy.
Sounds like a 1950’s sitcom strategy. But it works, because she loves him enough to accept him as he is and to be a managing partner, when necessary.
What a wise woman. A master at turning lemons into lemonade. This is the essence of love.
[Show #265]
Oh my goodness…yes, in our 44+ years together, I have learned it is certainly important to “pick your battles” and try to be sensitive to the things we ourselves do that get under our partner’s skin. Civility and thoughtfulness are crucial ingredients for a healthy relationship, whether in a marriage or in public discourse.