Happiness

Playing Canasta

Backstory

We were in the card room of a senior center. At one table, four distinguished-looking women had two decks of cards spread out and scattered all over the table. They were moving the cards around with gusto.

I asked one lady what card game they were playing. It was Hands & Feet. I asked, “Was that scramble of cards a part of the game?” “Oh no,” she replied, “We all have arthritis in our fingers. Since we can’t shuffle the cards, we just sort of smush them around!”

Whatever it takes!

Playing Canasta

Mention the card game Canasta, and the response is often that parents used to play that or…I think I played that as a kid. Canasta must have been more popular than Monopoly back in the 50s and 60s.

We’ve resurrected it here in our hometown. Lots of people are playing or re-educating themselves. It’s relatively easy to learn, just challenging enough, and requires strategies you have to work out.

There are multiple versions of the game so house rules should be established. Otherwise, the game can dissolve into chaos.

It can take a few hours to play, so drinks and snacks had better be ready.

Healthy stuff or something everyone will like.

Our parents may have served Mary Jane candies or Necco wafers. They probably sipped mixed drinks while they played. Remember cocktail names like whiskey sour and highball? Today’s card players will probably choose wine or healthy juice or even the ubiquitous bottled water.

Room was made on the card table for ashtrays. Smoke filled the room; they puffed as they played. That’s all disappeared now too. But the addiction to the game of Canasta is the same. Try it out and you’ll see.

P.S. During the pandemic, Internet searches for ”online card games with friends” jumped. In March 2020, they increased by over 1,000 percent. People were looking for new ways to hang out with their friends when the first restrictions were imposed.

Surprisingly, the current trend is toward the card game Solitaire. But now it’s played online instead of with cards. Do we now prefer relaxation solo rather than with friends?

[Show #374]

A Happy Life

Backstory

A friend sat with me on the front porch. We had just enjoyed a day of old-fashioned visiting, chatting, and remembering on a beautiful day out in the country. She said, “You have such a happy life. What is your secret?”

This is what I thought about in response.

A Happy Life

What is the secret of a happy life? Do you think YOU deserve a happy life? What would a happy life look like? How would you know if you are living it?

To begin with, you would have peace and contentment. I believe that happy people trust that they are exactly where they were meant to be in life; whether in a career, a stay-at-home parent, a student or someone still looking for their place in the sun.

Wherever they are in life and whatever age, they have accessed the ability to enjoy being right there at this moment in time.

They have learned to laugh – even if sometimes to hide the pain. They look outward and see the best in people. By doing so, they bring out the best in people.

Every single day, they give of themselves in some way large or small. And every day, they are thankful.

They use their natural gifts bestowed by the creator. That’s an important part. If you were given a gift, you are expected to use it, share it and let others benefit from it.

Find your special gifts and share them generously. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy happiness and bring happiness to all those around you. That’s the way it was meant to be.

P.S. There is a Chinese saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”

[Show #410]

A Woman’s Prayer

Backstory

I enjoy reading letters, poems, and prose written long ago. The prose of old is so lyrical, especially when related to romance. How I enjoyed reading the letters sent by my grandfather Anthony to the lovely Stella. They met at an afternoon dance, and he was immediately smitten. I could just see their love grow, as the letters moved from witty to wistful to fervent.

Today’s show looks into some very old words in a prayer spoken nearly a hundred years ago. Marvel at its simplicity and humility.

A Woman’s Prayer

Elsie sent in a prayer written by Lillian Mayfield Roberts, sometime between 1921 and 1938. After 80 years, it still seems a relevant appeal. Lillian prayed,

“Dear God, I am a woman – no weaker and no stronger than the rest. And I ask this prayer tonight, for help and guidance in the little things.

“If I could feel your hand upon my lips on days when I am sick, or merely tired of all the trivial worries, perhaps the stabbing words would not dart out, to wound my child, and turning, cut into my heart.

“I do not want to nag. I only want guidance to understand that each of us has her small troubles, and that mine are not harder in truth than other women bear.

“And when the little troubles vex me so, I am too prone to turn and cry them out In maudlin tears upon my husband’s breast. Keep me from this; he has enough to bear.

“And one more prayer that I would make tonight: If I could only see the difference between the really big things and the little things. . .

“I do not ask for better, or for more, I only ask for this: God keep my soul from growing petty. It will be enough. Help me in this, and I am satisfied.”

P.S. I love this simple morning prayer because it expresses gratitude and children easily remember the words, due to the rhyme.

For this new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends.
For everything Thy goodness sends,
We thank Thee, dearest Lord. Amen.

[Show #633]

The People Who Count

Backstory

This story came from the once-in-a-lifetime experience of having a surprise birthday party with lots of friends there, from across a lifetime. It got me thinking about how many of them have had a special place in my heart for so long. Perhaps you will recognize yourself among them.

The People Who Count

I was just thinking, yet again, about the folks who planned and attended my surprise birthday party. There were more than 60 in the room. I wanted to introduce each person to everyone else and explain why they were so special.

There was someone I wrote poetry with and we were published. . . Young ‘uns I’ve watched grow up. . . The couple who carried propane to our farmhouse in the dead of winter.

There was the person who corrects my errors. . . And the ones I turn to for digital advice. . . The couple who provided us lodging in Florida. . . And my role model for how to run a country home in Virginia. There were people with whom I had visited foreign lands and RV camping buddies.

There were new friends and old friends; fellow Canasta players and poker players. A family that welcomed me even though I turned their brother’s life upside down, after he spent 60 years as a bachelor. I saw the person who was with me on the worse day of my life. . . And dozens who have been with me on joyful days or were the cause of joyful days.

It makes me think about all the people with whom YOU have shared joy, or grief or those who were there when you were lost. When you think of those you love or admire, how they inspired you or moved you or were simply there for you – make sure they know. It will delight them, to hear what they have meant to you. Be sure they know.

P.S. My friend Elizabeth Cottrell https://www.heartspoken.com/ is an inspiring advocate of handwritten notes that comfort, encourage and send love. Imagine the pleasure of someone special to you receiving a note expressing appreciation of an act, service or advice that meant a lot to you. Especially one provided years ago that helped you grow or conquer. Send that note today. See Elizabeth’s Facebook group – “The Art of the Heartspoken Word.”

[Show #605]

Mystique of Love

Backstory

Picture this. You are an adult, independent and strong, on your own in the world. You go through life, just putting one foot in front of the other, and feeling satisfaction with what fills your days. Things are OK. You have no overwhelming joy, but no complaints either.

And then, out of the blue, someone comes into your life. A chance meeting, introduction by a mutual friend, getting acquainted with a fellow volunteer. It could come from somewhere really close, or through something you would never have anticipated. And suddenly, everything changes. That person starts to become the center of your existence. What a difference it makes. You know joy beyond belief.

The sky gets bluer, you walk straighter, you smile more, you pay more attention to how you look and what you wear. What’s going on? It’s scary, because you see your independence waning as your thoughts go from “me” to “us.” Sounds like the start of an affair of the heart.

What magic causes it? How do you control it or manage it? Some say you should forget about analyzing it. They wisely suggest that you simply succumb to it and enjoy the greatest pleasure that life has to offer.

I broke the rule one afternoon and decided to analyze my feelings for the love of my life. I sat back and reminisced and smiled all the way, following the trajectory of our love. This show was the result of that consideration

Mystique of Love

Sometimes I’m just sitting and doing my work, a thousand thoughts fluttering across my brain, frantically trying to capture the ideas appropriate to the moment or the project at hand. Suddenly his smile spreads across the cluttered landscape of my mind…and I have to stop and smile back.

What a warm and wonderful feeling, remembering our last moments together – and how we hate to bring them to an end, just because night beckons or responsibilities call.

Thinking about him helps me keep from reverting to the old, workaholic habits. It makes me pace myself and stop taking it all so seriously. It makes me glance at the clock to count the hours until I can see that smile in person and feel that embrace and give back and enjoy every moment of it.

I look forward to sharing my day with him. He is, after all, my best friend. We’ll talk about whatever circumstance the day has caused – physical pain, frustration, joy, success or just quiet contentment for another day’s work done.

So, THIS is what love is all about. Why didn’t somebody tell me?

P.S. Falling in love has always intrigued me. The emotions evoked, the joy experienced, when suddenly you realize that you care more about another person than you do about yourself. Awesome.

[Show #505]

Because She Loves Him

Backstory

This is a story you will relate to if you have been married for a long time. If not, let it be some good advice to assure that your marriage lasts a long time.

It’s about dealing with one of those things that maddens you about your partner. You know the kind of thing. It’s totally insignificant, in the big picture. No, it will not matter, five years from now. And yet you wish against wish that he just would not do that, or that she would remember to do that.

Isn’t it funny; the things we choose over which to get upset? It could be an issue left over from childhood. It could be a reminder of an embarrassing incident or one that you would rather forget. Could be something that goes against your values to the point where you want to explode.

Seems the woman in our story came up with an even better idea. See if you agree with her strategy.

Because She Loves Him

They were leaving that day for a few weeks in Florida. The wife had made her lists, put her stuff together, had check marks on just about everything on the list, and was ready to go.

The husband . . . well, he was still deciding which fishing poles to take. The car had not gotten washed as he planned and not everyone was informed of what was expected of them while the couple was away.

She could find it maddening. Why hadn’t he spent his time doing his share? She could yell . . . Bang around . . . Scold him and put him down.

Instead, she went and read a book, ignoring the sounds of his hustling. You see, she loves him. And she found out years ago that he is who he is. And not being ready on time is one of his traits. She could hate it and fight it or she could find a way to cope.

So she stretches the truth a bit, telling him they have to leave at noon, when the actual ETD is 2 p.m. She knows that with a few extra hours, he’ll almost be ready. She’ll then gently remind those things he was most likely to forget, and they’ll be on their way – perhaps a little late but happy.

Sounds like a 1950’s sitcom strategy. But it works, because she loves him enough to accept him as he is and to be a managing partner, when necessary.

What a wise woman. A master at turning lemons into lemonade. This is the essence of love.

P.S. This story explored strategies to handle the frustration. What do you do about it? Talk it through? Holler and throw dishes? Get angry and sulk? None of those is known to result in positive outcomes. So maybe you take up kickboxing or pull out your Crayolas and adult coloring book, or hire a therapist.

[Show #265]