Happiness

The People Who Count

Backstory

This story came from the once-in-a-lifetime experience of having a surprise birthday party with lots of friends there, from across a lifetime. It got me thinking about how many of them have had a special place in my heart for so long. Perhaps you will recognize yourself among them.

The People Who Count

I was just thinking, yet again, about the folks who planned and attended my surprise birthday party. There were more than 60 in the room. I wanted to introduce each person to everyone else and explain why they were so special.

There was someone I wrote poetry with and we were published. . . Young ‘uns I’ve watched grow up. . . The couple who carried propane to our farmhouse in the dead of winter.

There was the person who corrects my errors. . . And the ones I turn to for digital advice. . . The couple who provided us lodging in Florida. . . And my role model for how to run a country home in Virginia. There were people with whom I had visited foreign lands and RV camping buddies.

There were new friends and old friends; fellow Canasta players and poker players. A family that welcomed me even though I turned their brother’s life upside down, after he spent 60 years as a bachelor. I saw the person who was with me on the worse day of my life. . . And dozens who have been with me on joyful days or were the cause of joyful days.

It makes me think about all the people with whom YOU have shared joy, or grief or those who were there when you were lost. When you think of those you love or admire, how they inspired you or moved you or were simply there for you – make sure they know. It will delight them, to hear what they have meant to you. Be sure they know.

P.S. My friend Elizabeth Cottrell https://www.heartspoken.com/ is an inspiring advocate of handwritten notes that comfort, encourage and send love. Imagine the pleasure of someone special to you receiving a note expressing appreciation of an act, service or advice that meant a lot to you. Especially one provided years ago that helped you grow or conquer. Send that note today. See Elizabeth’s Facebook group – “The Art of the Heartspoken Word.”

[Show #605]

Mystique of Love

Backstory

Picture this. You are an adult, independent and strong, on your own in the world. You go through life, just putting one foot in front of the other, and feeling satisfaction with what fills your days. Things are OK. You have no overwhelming joy, but no complaints either.

And then, out of the blue, someone comes into your life. A chance meeting, introduction by a mutual friend, getting acquainted with a fellow volunteer. It could come from somewhere really close, or through something you would never have anticipated. And suddenly, everything changes. That person starts to become the center of your existence. What a difference it makes. You know joy beyond belief.

The sky gets bluer, you walk straighter, you smile more, you pay more attention to how you look and what you wear. What’s going on? It’s scary, because you see your independence waning as your thoughts go from “me” to “us.” Sounds like the start of an affair of the heart.

What magic causes it? How do you control it or manage it? Some say you should forget about analyzing it. They wisely suggest that you simply succumb to it and enjoy the greatest pleasure that life has to offer.

I broke the rule one afternoon and decided to analyze my feelings for the love of my life. I sat back and reminisced and smiled all the way, following the trajectory of our love. This show was the result of that consideration

Mystique of Love

Sometimes I’m just sitting and doing my work, a thousand thoughts fluttering across my brain, frantically trying to capture the ideas appropriate to the moment or the project at hand. Suddenly his smile spreads across the cluttered landscape of my mind…and I have to stop and smile back.

What a warm and wonderful feeling, remembering our last moments together – and how we hate to bring them to an end, just because night beckons or responsibilities call.

Thinking about him helps me keep from reverting to the old, workaholic habits. It makes me pace myself and stop taking it all so seriously. It makes me glance at the clock to count the hours until I can see that smile in person and feel that embrace and give back and enjoy every moment of it.

I look forward to sharing my day with him. He is, after all, my best friend. We’ll talk about whatever circumstance the day has caused – physical pain, frustration, joy, success or just quiet contentment for another day’s work done.

So, THIS is what love is all about. Why didn’t somebody tell me?

P.S. Falling in love has always intrigued me. The emotions evoked, the joy experienced, when suddenly you realize that you care more about another person than you do about yourself. Awesome.

[Show #505]

Because She Loves Him

Backstory

This is a story you will relate to if you have been married for a long time. If not, let it be some good advice to assure that your marriage lasts a long time.

It’s about dealing with one of those things that maddens you about your partner. You know the kind of thing. It’s totally insignificant, in the big picture. No, it will not matter, five years from now. And yet you wish against wish that he just would not do that, or that she would remember to do that.

Isn’t it funny; the things we choose over which to get upset? It could be an issue left over from childhood. It could be a reminder of an embarrassing incident or one that you would rather forget. Could be something that goes against your values to the point where you want to explode.

Seems the woman in our story came up with an even better idea. See if you agree with her strategy.

Because She Loves Him

They were leaving that day for a few weeks in Florida. The wife had made her lists, put her stuff together, had check marks on just about everything on the list, and was ready to go.

The husband . . . well, he was still deciding which fishing poles to take. The car had not gotten washed as he planned and not everyone was informed of what was expected of them while the couple was away.

She could find it maddening. Why hadn’t he spent his time doing his share? She could yell . . . Bang around . . . Scold him and put him down.

Instead, she went and read a book, ignoring the sounds of his hustling. You see, she loves him. And she found out years ago that he is who he is. And not being ready on time is one of his traits. She could hate it and fight it or she could find a way to cope.

So she stretches the truth a bit, telling him they have to leave at noon, when the actual ETD is 2 p.m. She knows that with a few extra hours, he’ll almost be ready. She’ll then gently remind those things he was most likely to forget, and they’ll be on their way – perhaps a little late but happy.

Sounds like a 1950’s sitcom strategy. But it works, because she loves him enough to accept him as he is and to be a managing partner, when necessary.

What a wise woman. A master at turning lemons into lemonade. This is the essence of love.

P.S. This story explored strategies to handle the frustration. What do you do about it? Talk it through? Holler and throw dishes? Get angry and sulk? None of those is known to result in positive outcomes. So maybe you take up kickboxing or pull out your Crayolas and adult coloring book, or hire a therapist.

[Show #265]

Empty Seat

Backstory

“You make me happy.” It’s often said when you have someone with whom there is mutual love and respect. When you find yourself smiling as you think of someone, you can’t help but assign happiness to them. Yet the true source of happiness comes from inside. We make the decision every day whether to be happy or not; whether we realize it or not. This story is about the happiness that comes from within.

Empty Seat

It’s a beautiful day and you’re driving through our countryside. Cloudless sky, green mountains, all is right with the world. And you know . . .

It IS that way, whether the seat next to you is empty or not.

Too often, we depend on other people for our happiness. Spouse . . . children . . . friends . . . co-workers. Yet when all is said and done, each of us is responsible for our own happiness.

Prayers are comforting if they are said in the quiet of your home, or with a church full of people. A beautiful song is just as melodic, whether it’s heard by one person or hundreds. It can take you soaring . . . and give you a smooth landing. Sometimes you get more benefit from listening to the notes by yourself, where they can wash over you without distraction.

Being alone is sometimes a gift; a break brought to you by the universe because it’s time to refocus on YOU.

Next time you are alone, don’t rush to fill the space. Let the empty seat next to you give you serenity and the time to look inward. You may find something there that you missed before. Or you may discover ideas that are fresh and new.

You may like what you see and hear and feel.

P.S. Being alone and being lonely. Quite a difference between the two. I have experienced both. Probably you have, too. Do stop and consider. If the seat next to you is empty, it may be time for you to regroup, check things out. It may be time to change paths a little. You do so much for others. Take some time for yourself now and make sure things are the way they should be. Spend some time with yourself and check out your happiness quotient.

[Show #17]

This Day Shall Never Come Again

Back Story

“Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today. It’s been that way all this year. It’s been that way so many times.” ― Ernest Hemingway

This Day Shall Never Come Again

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You will never see this day again.

Surely you’ve heard that phrase before. But I wanted to repeat it for you today because it applies to this very day. This very hour.

How can you make your next 24 hours worthwhile? You could take the time to think big thoughts. You could take care of yourself. You could do something special for someone else. Nothing big, but something.

You’ll probably have a busy day – work…kids…errands…household chores. But amidst it all, take time for yourself. Take time to stop and be still…Allow yourself to drift. Give your subconscious a chance to percolate.

You will be amazed at the solutions…ideas…plans that will come your way, just by sitting for a while quietly, alone, allowing your spirit to take over. You may find you’re more clever than you thought.

My prayer for you on this special day is that you be protected at all times. May you be safe and be surrounded by people who love you – whether you know it or not. Take this wondrous day and make it your own. Make it count. That’s really all that can be expected of you.

P.S. All those individual days strung together equal a lifetime. Hemingway was right! The major twists and turns of that life were directed by what you chose and what you did – in just one single day along the way.

[Show #375]

Train That Left the Station

Backstory

Sometimes love occurs at first sight. For others, patience is required as you move through life, happy and fulfilled, with just that one thing missing. He said he sought a life partner with depth, who was smart, caring and kind. Did she need to make a mean lasagna besides?

Train that left the Station

He had been a bachelor for more than 60 years. He was attractive, intelligent, financially secure, funny, interesting. He was what would be considered quite a catch for a woman of his day. He had a full and successful life with a career in a field he loved, lots of friends and loving family.

And yet romance had alluded him. He never found the time . . . or took the time . . . to look past the casual, to find a woman who could hold his attention and fill the void. After so many decades of a solitary life, he explained, he assumed that train had left the station. Fatherhood was not to be. Intimacy was not to be experienced.

And then she came into his life. Bustling and busy, bright and joyful. They became friends and enjoyed spending time together. They started doing for each other, and going places together. They started dating. And it all fell together so naturally, so happily.

A couple of years and they realized they wanted more and they got engaged. They’re now approaching 3,000 days together. He’s counted them.

How do I know? I am the train that pulled into his station. Big red caboose and all.

P.S. Sequestering during the pandemic added a new 24/7 dimension to our togetherness. Our train just chugged on through and out the other side. Now all we seek is just one more day. And then one more and perhaps another . . . And give thanks on every one of those days.

[Show #629]