Inspiration/Life Lessons

Beautiful Old Faces

Backstory

I was browsing through old family photos. There was a close-up of a very old woman, taken back in the 40s. I was mesmerized by her. Wrinkled face spoke of her advanced age. Yet the light in her eyes and her warm smile exuded something I sought to define. Then it occurred to me. It was beauty.

Beautiful Old Faces

I love to be in the company of beautiful people. And one of the most beautiful types of face is an old one. The corrugated face has character. As you age, laughter etches grooves on your face. Imagine how much laughter it took to create that beautiful old face. That face may reflect a heart that has been broken – more than once.

But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. I tease my husband by tracing the laugh lines around his eyes. I claim to be the cause of the three on the left. Happy to take responsibility for those creases of love and laughter.

I love to be in the company of beautiful old people who know how to enjoy themselves, every single day. Who still know how to laugh – at your jokes and their jokes and at themselves.

And if they repeat those jokes often, be kind and listen in. Be amused and react as expected. You’ll make their day.

These older people are precious. They won’t be here forever. But while they are, help them not to waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. Seek out their company. Let them know they are beautiful. Learn from the stories they tell. Enjoy them.

And realize that one day, you will be them.

P.S. You want to see an old person beam? Put a grandbaby in her arms. Have him nuzzled by a puppy. Have a child present them with a handmade drawing. Listen to old music with them. Listen to their stories. Say a prayer with them. That light that beams from within brings beauty back into a tired old face as it shines with remembrance and joy.

[Show #651]

Rich Follett

Backstory

Rich Follett has been writing poems and songs for more than forty years. His works have been featured in numerous online and print journals. You may well have heard him perform acoustic folk music at venues throughout the Shenandoah Valley.

One of Rich’s CDs received the following review from Amazon.com: “Rich Follett’s melodies are not only soothing to listen to, his lyrics speak right to your heart with feelings only he seems to be able to put to words.”

Some of those words are quoted in today’s story.

Rich Follett

We all seem to be reaching for answers. We don’t like the things that are happening. We want things back the way they were.

That will never happen. The typewriter will never return. You’ll never dial to use the telephone. Appliances no longer have simple knobs that read “on” or “off.”

There are apps for every conceivable purpose. Dancing is now calisthenics to music. There is fear and stress in the world. There is danger, never before felt.

It makes some people unhappy and turns us whiney. It causes others to reach into their soul and find strength.

My friend, Rich Follett, reached like that and this is what he decided, and I quote: “That which is beyond our control is likely to remain so. What remains to us is to continue looking for opportunities to use our artistry and humanity to bring beauty into this weary world. When I die, it will be with a psalm on my lips, love in my heart, gratitude in my soul, and a spirit attuned to hope. These things can never be taken from us unless we release them; I am one who will never let go!”

May you know peace of well-being and face tomorrow with love, understanding and hope. Like Rich does.

P.S.

Rich’s CD recordings are available at www.richfollett.com. He lives with his wife Mary Ruth Alred Follett in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, where he is a Middle School Theatre Arts teacher and pursues his interests as a professional actor, playwright and director.

[Show #626]

Living In Fear

Backstory

During the pandemic cloud, we were constantly required to make decisions. Older folks in particular knew that exposure could be fatal. There was reason to be scared. How did they cope?

Living In Fear

Explaining how he creates fear in his movie audiences, Alfred Hitchcock once said, “There is no terror in the bang, only the anticipation of it.” Even more so in real life, when there is a threat to your health and wellbeing.

The worst time is when you’re aware that something is wrong but you don’t know what. That time can go on for days, weeks, even months. It’s crushing. Fear stops everyone in their tracks. Whether it’s a new venture, a new task, or a new diagnosis, overcoming the fear can take you halfway to success.

With a medical alert, we tend to dash to the Internet for quick knowledge. You can find words that haunt and dire predictions and absolutely none may be applicable to your situation.

Also, when you’re enveloped in fear, you’re not listening well to the actual information from tests, examinations and medical personnel. If you don’t listen well, you can’t make the best decisions. And you will certainly confuse those around you who want to offer support.

So, the first step in any medical emergency – lose the fear. If it’s going to be bad, being fearful is not going to make it less bad. And if it’s going to be okay, worrying about it is time and effort wasted.

Easy? Not at all. But so necessary to get past the fear to a place where you can listen well, analyze reasonably, and make good decisions.

P.S.

An exercise to follow before beginning the process of the system of coping – Stop, Breathe, Consider, Verify, Act.

[Show #543]

She Hurt My Feelings

Backstory

A long-time friendship is precious. It can also be fragile – sometimes when least expected. What happens next can be game-changing. That was the case here.

She Hurt My Feelings

I don’t think she meant it that way, but what my friend said really hurt my feelings. There might have been an inkling of truth to it, but it hurt to hear it out loud. I’m trying to decide what to do about it.

Should I get back at her by saying something that would hurt her feelings too? Shall I try to find an excuse and apologize to myself for her? Shall I stay mad, end the friendship, never speak to her again?

Or might I examine what she said, remembering that it is nothing but data. It is input given by another. I have every right to consider it, accept it, reject it, rework it; whatever I want. I find that giving myself two or three days greatly improves the quality of making this kind of important decision.

Well, it’s now three days later and I have made my decision. I have decided to accept the bit of truth in her statement. I accept it as data and will consider it along with other data. In the meantime, I acknowledge our deep and valuable friendship. I decided that getting mad would be a waste of time for us both.

She’s still my friend and always will be. That’s what counts most. I think I made the right decision.

P.S.

During the trying times of the pandemic, families were stuck together. The rules kept changing along with the warnings. If you made any errors of judgment that need repentance, now’s the time to clear things up. Be kind.

[Show #227]

Did Dad Like Me?

Backstory

My dad seemed to have trouble defining his roles as father and head of the house. He shifted gears a lot. The inconsistency led to blunders on both our parts. Communication was infrequent and stifled. But when we connected, it was special.

Did Dad Like Me?

I thought my dad didn’t like me much. My mom was always enthralled by my stories of what happened in school or what my friends were wearing or doing. My dad – well, he’d fall asleep while I prattled on about my day.

He would come home in work clothes dirtied from his labor. He was a welder and that was not white collar work. He would take a shower, have dinner and lay down on the couch and before I could talk to him, he’d be asleep. Seemed there was no time for me.

It was years before I realized, he napped because he was exhausted.

He did hard physical labor every day and his body needed rest, not the chattering of a nine year old consumed with her own world.

But when I did have his attention, it was heaven. I remember being with him on a fishing boat he had won in a raffle. Singing with him as he drove the blue Hudson to the mountains for family picnics in the summer.

Having him stand up for me when I was bullied.

I remember a tearful session where I accused him of never being satisfied with my accomplishments. An A minus was reproached. It could have been an A. He was shocked to hear that I felt unappreciated. He told me how he bragged about my accomplishments. Told friends and relatives how proud he was of me.

But Dad, you forgot to tell ME.

P.S.

It all comes down to communication. Make room for it, dads. Phones down, voices up. Let’s talk about it. Happy Father’s Day.

[#356]

Youngest I Will Ever Be

Backstory

I was reading about Eleanor Roosevelt, a woman to admire. She once said, “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” It made me remember the time I wrestled with that concept. Here’s the story.

Youngest I Will Ever Be

The fair is in town and I’m trying to decide whether to go. I have been to the fair many times. Nothing new. It’s trouble to get everything together, drive out there, find a place to park, walk around a lot. Easier just to stay home.

But you know what? That’s what old folks do. Often, it’s what they have to do – either because of physical disabilities or because they lack the spirit to join in a celebration. So, when I consider whether to go, I have to remember: this is the youngest I will ever be! Now, today.

I may not be young enough to go tomorrow or next year when the fair comes along. I may not have the joy. I may no longer be able to drive. I want to enjoy every single simple thing there is to do. I want to do today, the same things I did yesterday.

Don’t need to see the Grand Canyon again. Can live without a weekend in Paris. But I don’t want to give up the joy of being with friends… or hearing a baby laugh… or shopping downtown in quaint little old stores. You have to be young to pull yourself to get out and do those things.

But you know what? The fair is here now and this is the youngest I will ever be. So, I’m not staying home. Oh no. I’m out the door and on my way. Y’all come on along, y’hear?

It’ll be fun. And this IS the youngest you will ever be!

P.S.

After so many months of sheltering in place during the pandemic, we are all really in the market for getting out and going. Don’t get carried away though. Keep wearing the mask and following protocol while enjoying your new freedom

[Show #647]