Legacy

Mom’s Butterfly

Backstory

In my family, my late mother’s “signature” is a butterfly. We believe it shows her presence among us – like when that beautiful creature flew past my mom’s great-granddaughter, just as she was saying her wedding vows. Here’s another story of her presence.

Mom’s Butterfly

I watched a beautiful butterfly the other day and felt that my mother was so close. She loved butterflies, especially Monarchs. I can’t help but feel her presence when I see one. Have you ever had that experience?

My mom meant so much to me that in traumatic situations, I can’t keep from talking to her, even though she is no longer here, and trying to hear what her advice would be.

One time, I received a call that my pregnant daughter had been rushed to the hospital. She and the baby were both in distress.

I had a six-hour drive to where she was. All during the drive I listened so hard to hear my mom. Why wasn’t I remembering what she would say to comfort me, guide me, help me along this painful drive?

I got to the hospital well after dark. As I ran to the lobby door, a Monarch butterfly flew by.

“Oh mom,” I cried, “all this time I was wanting you, you were already here, watching over your granddaughter and great-granddaughter.”

I looked again – but the beautiful butterfly was gone.

Then it occurred to me – When is the last time you’ve seen a butterfly at night? They’re not out at night.

But mothers are. Mothers are wherever you need them; whyever you cry out to them. They come on the wings of butterflies – or is it – on the wings of love.

P.S.

If anything was ever connected to magic moments, it is mothers. Leaving this world does not seem to change our connection with the one who gave us birth. Whether you hear yourself sounding like your mother, remember her fondly, or laugh out loud as you recall adventures together, your mom is yours, forever.

[Show #330]

Three Baby Boys

Backstory

My story tells of meeting the three babies together last summer. It was actually two summers ago, when we could still interact and hug and cuddle. I have such fond memories of three generations converging on that summer day with stories, laughter and love.

Three Baby Boys

They were born just months apart; three grand-babies for my lucky sister. It was such a surprise when her married children announced they were all pregnant, one after the other. She could not wait to have all three babies in one place at one time.

This summer it happened. The whole family gathered – from Chicago, New Jersey, Virginia – and celebrated the first birthdays of all three babies.

It was amazing how different they all were. One was already walking – toddling around the picnic grounds as independent as you please. One had a look of fine concentration; like he was taking everything in and had profound unspoken knowledge. The third was complacent and charming, smiling all the while and cuddling with anyone who offered their hands to hold him.

I was thinking my future and yours lies in the hands of these three baby men, and thousands like them who are just coming into our world, our society, our environment. What values will they have as they grow up? What morals will they uphold? What will the world expect of them?

The only thing I could predict for sure is that they will all be different from the way I was brought up. Very different. Better? Worse? History has yet to tell.

But as I kissed their sweet cheeks and felt the warmth of their smiles, I felt that my future was in good hands.

P.S.

The boys’ adulthoods will be lived in a world that is swiftly changing under our feet. They will learn a new kind of balance and be judged by vastly different rules and norms. Their language will be different, along with the way they see the world and how they are entertained. Parents and grandparents will be left in the dust of comprehension – just as we left the two generations behind us.

[Show #303]

My Sister

Backstory

When I began speaking in public, a mentor advised, “They may not remember who you were or what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.” That’s what my sister Karyn leaves behind. (Be sure to read the P.S. to this story.)

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My Sister – #503

My sister and I were having a discussion about what we wanted to leave for posterity; what we wanted people to remember about us when we’re gone. My sister is a very spiritual person; learned in religions of the world, yoga student, teacher of meditation and other skills for achieving tranquility and ease of well-being. I can imagine that she leaves many people with the tools to find serenity.

My sister has found that inner place for herself. Her daily ritual of meditation is often held in conference with nature. When she’s at the ocean, she ventures out in the darkness before sunrise, finds a comfortable place within eyesight of the ocean and lets the calming waves bring her into the new day. What joy she must achieve, for herself only, for this is a time of inner focus.

And the rest of her day is spent outward bound in the creativity of a writer, a genealogist, a grandmother, a gifted crafter and a would-be businesswoman whose strategic plan usually reverts back to meditation rather than achievement.

She is a full circle success, my sister. And her legacy will be the joy known by anyone who has made her acquaintance. You would remember her red hair, her welcoming smile, and that you felt instantly at ease in her presence.

Some of us leave monuments for posterity, others leave the gift of just having known them.

P.S.

You’ll find my sister, Karyn Romani, these days at The Positivity Tree. She has joined her daughter Ella Miller to become a cultivator of positivity rooted in optimism. The Positivity Tree is about being curious, empathetic, self-aware, balanced, less stressed and more appreciative in life. Together, they explore how to bring more optimism to work, home, family, relationships and life. It’s a beautiful place. https://www.thepositivitytree.com

[Show #503]

The Art of Downsizing

Backstory

Just how to start downsizing. That was the question. Most families realize that at one time or another, they’re going to need smaller space that will only accommodate less “stuff.” That time finally arrived for us and here’s how we went about it.

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The Art of Downsizing – #608

I gave away seven gaily painted nutcrackers and ten wooden toys. They were part of our Christmas decorations, as the children were growing up, and long after. I took them to the family Christmas party and invited each grandchild to choose some. The Christmas angels will be shared next year. It’s the start of our household downsizing phase. A very small start, but definitely a beginning.

What’s next? Bill’s ancient electronics are definitely on the table. For decades, they were treasures. In the age of computerized electronics, they are archaic. Then we’ll go on to the household items of which we have too many.

Friends warned that downsizing would not be easy. I envisioned delighting locals with a yard sale where they could find great stuff for pennies on the dollar. Then we considered how much work that is. Maybe it’s time to call in Junk Monster instead. You pay him to take it all away.

I have heard it said about material things – First you wish you had them, then you own them, then they become a burden. That’s where we are.

When Bill and I combined our households, five truckloads of furniture, books, domestics and glassware went to the church thrift shop. I hope they have room for more stuff, because I feel it going their way, as we shrink our belongings and organize our life for a simpler time.

P.S.

I am pleased to say that we resisted the temptation to rent storage lockers as a final resting place for our stuff. We have seen friends pay heavy money over time to secure belongings eventually tossed or sold at auction. Even worse, to will stuff to heirs who move it to their own stowage in the absurd cycle of life-long holding.

[Show #608]

Using Your Gifts

Backstory

If you love what you do for a living, you will never work a day in your life. I have found that to be so true. It happens when you use the gifts you were given.

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Using Your Gift – #637

What’s it all about? Why are we put here on this earth? What is expected of us?

There comes a time in life when you start asking those questions and looking for answers. I have. Perhaps you have too.

Each of us have been given different gifts and I believe we are expected to use them to make the world a better place. Some of us can affect things on a global scale, others have little influence beyond our own kitchen. But I think we fulfill our destiny when we figure out our God-given gifts and use them daily for the better good.

God didn’t impart them to you just to hang around. He expects you to use them. Whether you are playing the piano, crocheting afghans, tending flowers, curing diseases, or kissing children good night. You do it very well.

You may be the organizer, or the one who comes up with the good ideas. Or the one who moves things from discussion to action. Your gift may be that you can give of your time, or your money.

Choose the big world or your small intimate world and go make it a better place. It’s expected of you and it pleases God when you do.

I like what Maya Angelou said about this, “My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

P.S.

My jobs have always involved writing, composing, presenting thoughts to the world. I was sure my children appreciated the intellectual significance of what I create at that keyboard. Then I heard someone ask my son what I do for a living. He responded, “She types.”

[Show #637]

Pen Pal

Backstory

Handwritten notes? In the day of briefest possible communication like tweets, texting and Instagram? Here’s the story of how that came about.

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Pen Pal – #331

“Do you think Grandma would like to be my pen pal, ” my 10-year old grandchild asked her mom. We live several hundred miles away from each other and I don’t have a chance to engage in grandmotherly things like attending her ballet classes or watching her play softball. And now, she had come up with the idea of writing to each other.

Well, we’re both on Facebook, we both have computers, we both email each other, but here she was wanting to do something more personal and to me something very precious. I agreed in a moment and we began a stream of communications that kept the postman hopping.

I bought her return labels for her envelopes with her name and address on them and the greeting, Hi Grandma! She sent me messages of one or two sentences or whole pages worth of observations and questions and endearments full of sweet 10-year old innocence.

Yes, some wound up on the refrigerator where I secretly hoped that visitors would read her charming text. Others were packed lovingly in a box to be returned to her in 10 or 20 years to reacquaint her with the young girl she once was. Perhaps by then to have a daughter of her own with whom to share.

I am so pleased to be the pen pal of this special little person.

P.S.

Well, she IS now 10 years older. No daughter to share this with yet, so I’m keeping the ribbon tied box for when that event comes along. Once scrolled to paper, her words are mine forever.

[Show #331]