Legacy

Playing Canasta

Backstory

We were in the card room of a senior center. At one table, four distinguished-looking women had two decks of cards spread out and scattered all over the table. They were moving the cards around with gusto.

I asked one lady what card game they were playing. It was Hands & Feet. I asked, “Was that scramble of cards a part of the game?” “Oh no,” she replied, “We all have arthritis in our fingers. Since we can’t shuffle the cards, we just sort of smush them around!”

Whatever it takes!

Playing Canasta

Mention the card game Canasta, and the response is often that parents used to play that or…I think I played that as a kid. Canasta must have been more popular than Monopoly back in the 50s and 60s.

We’ve resurrected it here in our hometown. Lots of people are playing or re-educating themselves. It’s relatively easy to learn, just challenging enough, and requires strategies you have to work out.

There are multiple versions of the game so house rules should be established. Otherwise, the game can dissolve into chaos.

It can take a few hours to play, so drinks and snacks had better be ready.

Healthy stuff or something everyone will like.

Our parents may have served Mary Jane candies or Necco wafers. They probably sipped mixed drinks while they played. Remember cocktail names like whiskey sour and highball? Today’s card players will probably choose wine or healthy juice or even the ubiquitous bottled water.

Room was made on the card table for ashtrays. Smoke filled the room; they puffed as they played. That’s all disappeared now too. But the addiction to the game of Canasta is the same. Try it out and you’ll see.

P.S. During the pandemic, Internet searches for ”online card games with friends” jumped. In March 2020, they increased by over 1,000 percent. People were looking for new ways to hang out with their friends when the first restrictions were imposed.

Surprisingly, the current trend is toward the card game Solitaire. But now it’s played online instead of with cards. Do we now prefer relaxation solo rather than with friends?

[Show #374]

America Became a Nation

Tomorrow is an incredibly significant date in American history. It marks the day the United States officially became its own nation.

The Declaration of Independence of the United States was ratified by the Second Continental Congress on July 4, 1776.

Enjoy the holiday and the freedom it provides.

Happy birthday, America.

Next week’s Consider This story is about being invisible.

Mom’s Butterfly

Backstory

In my family, my late mother’s “signature” is a butterfly. We believe it shows her presence among us – like when that beautiful creature flew past my mom’s great-granddaughter, just as she was saying her wedding vows. Here’s another story of her presence.

Mom’s Butterfly

I watched a beautiful butterfly the other day and felt that my mother was so close. She loved butterflies, especially Monarchs. I can’t help but feel her presence when I see one. Have you ever had that experience?

My mom meant so much to me that in traumatic situations, I can’t keep from talking to her, even though she is no longer here, and trying to hear what her advice would be.

One time, I received a call that my pregnant daughter had been rushed to the hospital. She and the baby were both in distress.

I had a six-hour drive to where she was. All during the drive I listened so hard to hear my mom. Why wasn’t I remembering what she would say to comfort me, guide me, help me along this painful drive?

I got to the hospital well after dark. As I ran to the lobby door, a Monarch butterfly flew by.

“Oh mom,” I cried, “all this time I was wanting you, you were already here, watching over your granddaughter and great-granddaughter.”

I looked again – but the beautiful butterfly was gone.

Then it occurred to me – When is the last time you’ve seen a butterfly at night? They’re not out at night.

But mothers are. Mothers are wherever you need them; whyever you cry out to them. They come on the wings of butterflies – or is it – on the wings of love.

P.S.

If anything was ever connected to magic moments, it is mothers. Leaving this world does not seem to change our connection with the one who gave us birth. Whether you hear yourself sounding like your mother, remember her fondly, or laugh out loud as you recall adventures together, your mom is yours, forever.

[Show #330]

Three Baby Boys

Backstory

My story tells of meeting the three babies together last summer. It was actually two summers ago, when we could still interact and hug and cuddle. I have such fond memories of three generations converging on that summer day with stories, laughter and love.

Three Baby Boys

They were born just months apart; three grand-babies for my lucky sister. It was such a surprise when her married children announced they were all pregnant, one after the other. She could not wait to have all three babies in one place at one time.

This summer it happened. The whole family gathered – from Chicago, New Jersey, Virginia – and celebrated the first birthdays of all three babies.

It was amazing how different they all were. One was already walking – toddling around the picnic grounds as independent as you please. One had a look of fine concentration; like he was taking everything in and had profound unspoken knowledge. The third was complacent and charming, smiling all the while and cuddling with anyone who offered their hands to hold him.

I was thinking my future and yours lies in the hands of these three baby men, and thousands like them who are just coming into our world, our society, our environment. What values will they have as they grow up? What morals will they uphold? What will the world expect of them?

The only thing I could predict for sure is that they will all be different from the way I was brought up. Very different. Better? Worse? History has yet to tell.

But as I kissed their sweet cheeks and felt the warmth of their smiles, I felt that my future was in good hands.

P.S.

The boys’ adulthoods will be lived in a world that is swiftly changing under our feet. They will learn a new kind of balance and be judged by vastly different rules and norms. Their language will be different, along with the way they see the world and how they are entertained. Parents and grandparents will be left in the dust of comprehension – just as we left the two generations behind us.

[Show #303]

My Sister

Backstory

When I began speaking in public, a mentor advised, “They may not remember who you were or what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.” That’s what my sister Karyn leaves behind. (Be sure to read the P.S. to this story.)

Click to listen or follow below to read.

My Sister – #503

My sister and I were having a discussion about what we wanted to leave for posterity; what we wanted people to remember about us when we’re gone. My sister is a very spiritual person; learned in religions of the world, yoga student, teacher of meditation and other skills for achieving tranquility and ease of well-being. I can imagine that she leaves many people with the tools to find serenity.

My sister has found that inner place for herself. Her daily ritual of meditation is often held in conference with nature. When she’s at the ocean, she ventures out in the darkness before sunrise, finds a comfortable place within eyesight of the ocean and lets the calming waves bring her into the new day. What joy she must achieve, for herself only, for this is a time of inner focus.

And the rest of her day is spent outward bound in the creativity of a writer, a genealogist, a grandmother, a gifted crafter and a would-be businesswoman whose strategic plan usually reverts back to meditation rather than achievement.

She is a full circle success, my sister. And her legacy will be the joy known by anyone who has made her acquaintance. You would remember her red hair, her welcoming smile, and that you felt instantly at ease in her presence.

Some of us leave monuments for posterity, others leave the gift of just having known them.

P.S.

You’ll find my sister, Karyn Romani, these days at The Positivity Tree. She has joined her daughter Ella Miller to become a cultivator of positivity rooted in optimism. The Positivity Tree is about being curious, empathetic, self-aware, balanced, less stressed and more appreciative in life. Together, they explore how to bring more optimism to work, home, family, relationships and life. It’s a beautiful place. https://www.thepositivitytree.com

[Show #503]

The Art of Downsizing

Backstory

Just how to start downsizing. That was the question. Most families realize that at one time or another, they’re going to need smaller space that will only accommodate less “stuff.” That time finally arrived for us and here’s how we went about it.

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The Art of Downsizing – #608

I gave away seven gaily painted nutcrackers and ten wooden toys. They were part of our Christmas decorations, as the children were growing up, and long after. I took them to the family Christmas party and invited each grandchild to choose some. The Christmas angels will be shared next year. It’s the start of our household downsizing phase. A very small start, but definitely a beginning.

What’s next? Bill’s ancient electronics are definitely on the table. For decades, they were treasures. In the age of computerized electronics, they are archaic. Then we’ll go on to the household items of which we have too many.

Friends warned that downsizing would not be easy. I envisioned delighting locals with a yard sale where they could find great stuff for pennies on the dollar. Then we considered how much work that is. Maybe it’s time to call in Junk Monster instead. You pay him to take it all away.

I have heard it said about material things – First you wish you had them, then you own them, then they become a burden. That’s where we are.

When Bill and I combined our households, five truckloads of furniture, books, domestics and glassware went to the church thrift shop. I hope they have room for more stuff, because I feel it going their way, as we shrink our belongings and organize our life for a simpler time.

P.S.

I am pleased to say that we resisted the temptation to rent storage lockers as a final resting place for our stuff. We have seen friends pay heavy money over time to secure belongings eventually tossed or sold at auction. Even worse, to will stuff to heirs who move it to their own stowage in the absurd cycle of life-long holding.

[Show #608]