Lifestyle

Things On My Desk

Backstory

The notion that a clean desk means a productive worker is an artifact of the mid-20th century. Historically, geniuses were always pictured with a cluttered desk. I’m not sure where that puts me and the things on my desk.

Things On My Desk

I look around at the things on my desk. There are many of them. A blotter in the center is sort of the no-nonsense zone. That’s where I put my papers of the day, the bills that need attention, and the documents that match the first five things on my priority list for the day.

But beyond that sacred zone, there is room for the stapler, the weighted tape dispenser, and the cup of pens & pencils.

Then somehow, other things drift in – the photos in picture frames, each bringing back special memories. The all-important OUT box that seems to give me a pat on the back every time I place something in it that has been DONE. The Rolodex where the importance of people doesn’t matter. All those personal and professional contacts are mixed in, with no level of honor other than the alphabetic order of their last name. There is a stack of sticky notes that will be greatly reduced by the end of the day. There is the scrap paper. The bowl of stamps and the basket of earrings and rings that I forget to take off before sitting down at my desk. Soon, the morning cup of hot coffee will take its place of honor, always within reach.

What a conglomeration are the things on my desk, each representing another facet of my life. How pleased I am not to have a clear, clean, and joyless desk. This one looks loved, lived in, and happy. I like it that way.

P.S. Albert Einstein once asked, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” Has anyone ever responded?

[#340]

Get Close to Amenities

Back Story

Amenities or country – Seems that’s a choice you have to make in these parts. Our charming little town has never seen much action beyond a country music artist on the way up or on the way down, at the county fair or the long-ago scandalous hoochi-coochie girls at the annual carnival. Yet they tell us now that amenities are important. Hmmm.

Get Close to Amenities

Where do you live? Does it make you happy? A new survey reported by The Atlantic says that living within a short radius of amenities can change your life.

Live near facilities like parks, libraries, coffee shops, and gyms and you’ll do better, according to the report. Best is being no more than 15 minutes away.

This study is of particular interest here in the Shenandoah Valley, where there is concern about isolation, especially among the elderly in outlying rural areas.

Living closer to amenities encourages social interaction. More access to all-important low-stakes friendships. Neighbors tend to trust each other more and folks become more involved in local activities.

Bill and I lived for years at the foot of the mountain in Toms Brook. We loved the ten-mile trip to Woodstock along Back Road. Incredible mountainscapes everywhere, but no amenities.

Recently, we moved to a small, charming community just off Hisey Road. As Bill says, we’re now three minutes away from a hamburger. It’s convenient. We like it. We sure did not realize, however, that the move was actually adding to our happiness.

Hope you, too, are close to game night at the courthouse, poker at the Moose Lodge, Rotary meetings at the Brew House, and weekly non-profit fund-raisers, so you too can enjoy the amenities of life in our beautiful Shenandoah Valley.

P.S. Still sound like we’re lacking the gourmet restaurants, concerts with $500 tickets and nights on the town? For those of us retired from the fast track, we’ve been there, done that. Your turn.

The People Who Count

Backstory

This story came from the once-in-a-lifetime experience of having a surprise birthday party with lots of friends there, from across a lifetime. It got me thinking about how many of them have had a special place in my heart for so long. Perhaps you will recognize yourself among them.

The People Who Count

I was just thinking, yet again, about the folks who planned and attended my surprise birthday party. There were more than 60 in the room. I wanted to introduce each person to everyone else and explain why they were so special.

There was someone I wrote poetry with and we were published. . . Young ‘uns I’ve watched grow up. . . The couple who carried propane to our farmhouse in the dead of winter.

There was the person who corrects my errors. . . And the ones I turn to for digital advice. . . The couple who provided us lodging in Florida. . . And my role model for how to run a country home in Virginia. There were people with whom I had visited foreign lands and RV camping buddies.

There were new friends and old friends; fellow Canasta players and poker players. A family that welcomed me even though I turned their brother’s life upside down, after he spent 60 years as a bachelor. I saw the person who was with me on the worse day of my life. . . And dozens who have been with me on joyful days or were the cause of joyful days.

It makes me think about all the people with whom YOU have shared joy, or grief or those who were there when you were lost. When you think of those you love or admire, how they inspired you or moved you or were simply there for you – make sure they know. It will delight them, to hear what they have meant to you. Be sure they know.

P.S. My friend Elizabeth Cottrell https://www.heartspoken.com/ is an inspiring advocate of handwritten notes that comfort, encourage and send love. Imagine the pleasure of someone special to you receiving a note expressing appreciation of an act, service or advice that meant a lot to you. Especially one provided years ago that helped you grow or conquer. Send that note today. See Elizabeth’s Facebook group – “The Art of the Heartspoken Word.”

[Show #605]

The Ocean Awaits

Backstory

Since the pandemic took over our lives, we’ve become accustomed to postponements and cancellations. Events and visits and plans are on, they’re off; mask, no mask, warnings on, warnings off. This week’s story is about an attitude to adopt to help navigate these turbulent waters.

The Ocean Awaits

We came down to Florida for a few weeks’ respite before the madness of the holiday season. Since we arrived, we’ve done little of consequence. And that’s the way it was supposed to be.

No Rotary meetings…no social events…nothing for which we must prepare or cook or copy.

It was several days before we made our way to the ocean. It beckons as you drive down A1A. It is sometimes seen, sometimes heard. You’re always aware of it, reminded by the surfboard toting young men crossing the road, the families walking, laden with beach stuff, the turtle protectors with their lighted helmets. We enjoyed our first view of the ocean. It was about 8 p.m. and the entire beach was covered with the incoming tide. Very different from the sandy beach spotted with swimmers and sun-worshippers that clog the space during the day.

The next time we planned to walk the beach, it rained. The next, we got home late from shopping. Then our vigorous session at the gym left no energy for beach walking. Suddenly it was time to leave and we had only been to the ocean once.

I feel guilty. Like we’ve broken some law of nature. The only saving grace – Next time we come down, the ocean will still be there, proud and awesome, awaiting and welcoming our visit.

P.S. Some things can’t be counted on to always be there, like the ocean. People, for instance. Put off a visit to a friend or relative long enough and they may no longer be there. No guarantee. Plan that visit and make that call. I’m going to – right now.

[Show #371]

To Whom Are You Beautiful

Backstory

Scientists use a mathematical equation to measure facial beauty. It’s called the Golden Ratio. It stands at odds with the premise that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” as proposed by author Margaret Wolfe Hungerford in 1878. For over a hundred years, Margaret’s insight has held true, as this story confirms.

To Whom Are You Beautiful?

I heard a wife tell her husband, “If I could give you one gift in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are to me.”

It truly is a gift to be seen through the eyes of love. We are beautiful, in the eyes of those who love us. And if we’re lucky, that person tells us often how much we are loved and cherished, and how beautiful we are – man or woman.

I so enjoy when you can see, just by looking at them, how much a couple care about each other. It is particularly true when they have been together for a long time.

At a recent community meeting, someone announced that a couple were celebrating their 45^th wedding anniversary. The husband stood up and added, “And I am still in love with her!” The spontaneous announcement was so touching, as his bride blushed at the public attention.

But he didn’t even need to say it out loud. You could tell by the loving way he treated her, that she was still that beautiful, flirtatious young woman who had captured his heart so many decades ago. That’s what HE saw when he looked at her, regardless of the whitened hair and wobbly knees that had become today’s reality.

To see them together was to believe in love all over again.

P.S. I love to see an older couple holding hands. It communicates love, trust, and empathy. Both parties enjoy a sense of belonging and security.

Reaching out your hand can benefit those around you too. People can feel alone even when in the presence of others. Touching or holding the hand of another conveys immediate, positive physical feedback. It interrupts the feeling of loneliness and replaces it with a sense of acceptance and understanding.

Be generous in reaching out your hand to touch or hold the hands of those around you.

[Show #458]

Family Dinner Chats

Backstory

On Thursday, your family may have more dinnertime interaction than any other time of the year. Thanksgiving will be repeated and enjoyed. So many blessings, even in such a chaotic world. Gratitude will be expressed – hopefully all around the table.

What are the discussions at the dinner table when it’s not a holiday? Could they use a pick-me-up?

Family Dinner Chats

If you are a family that comes together at dinner time, you are creating a wonderful forum for thought sharing. What do you discuss over dinner? Same old stuff?

You may want to think about some provocative questions to ask. See what’s really on the minds of your kids, or the other adults in your home, and see how they view things.

What if you asked mature adults, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” How would you answer that question? Or ask family members, “What do you see when you look out our front window?” You may be amazed at the array of responses from people who are looking at exactly the same thing.

Ask what your family members notice first when they meet a man or woman. Ok, so there may be grounds for some fun too.

Keep your mealtime interesting and imaginative. It could become your favorite time of day.

P.S. My most memorable Thanksgiving was the year that my husband, my mom and I attended service at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC. On the way back to our car, we noticed a lot of activity at another door. We found out that Thanksgiving dinner was being served – to anyone who came to the door.

Lots of people had come – and there were not enough volunteers to serve. Ken and I spent the afternoon shlepping turkey and trimmings. My mom was a natural in the role of self-appointed hostess, greeting and seating, chatting and generating smiles and laughter. Our most tiring, most joyful Thanksgiving was spent in the company of strangers gathered together to share. May your Thanksgiving bring you joy too.

[Show #166]