Lifestyle

The People Who Count

Backstory

This story came from the once-in-a-lifetime experience of having a surprise birthday party with lots of friends there, from across a lifetime. It got me thinking about how many of them have had a special place in my heart for so long. Perhaps you will recognize yourself among them.

The People Who Count

I was just thinking, yet again, about the folks who planned and attended my surprise birthday party. There were more than 60 in the room. I wanted to introduce each person to everyone else and explain why they were so special.

There was someone I wrote poetry with and we were published. . . Young ‘uns I’ve watched grow up. . . The couple who carried propane to our farmhouse in the dead of winter.

There was the person who corrects my errors. . . And the ones I turn to for digital advice. . . The couple who provided us lodging in Florida. . . And my role model for how to run a country home in Virginia. There were people with whom I had visited foreign lands and RV camping buddies.

There were new friends and old friends; fellow Canasta players and poker players. A family that welcomed me even though I turned their brother’s life upside down, after he spent 60 years as a bachelor. I saw the person who was with me on the worse day of my life. . . And dozens who have been with me on joyful days or were the cause of joyful days.

It makes me think about all the people with whom YOU have shared joy, or grief or those who were there when you were lost. When you think of those you love or admire, how they inspired you or moved you or were simply there for you – make sure they know. It will delight them, to hear what they have meant to you. Be sure they know.

P.S. My friend Elizabeth Cottrell https://www.heartspoken.com/ is an inspiring advocate of handwritten notes that comfort, encourage and send love. Imagine the pleasure of someone special to you receiving a note expressing appreciation of an act, service or advice that meant a lot to you. Especially one provided years ago that helped you grow or conquer. Send that note today. See Elizabeth’s Facebook group – “The Art of the Heartspoken Word.”

[Show #605]

The Ocean Awaits

Backstory

Since the pandemic took over our lives, we’ve become accustomed to postponements and cancellations. Events and visits and plans are on, they’re off; mask, no mask, warnings on, warnings off. This week’s story is about an attitude to adopt to help navigate these turbulent waters.

The Ocean Awaits

We came down to Florida for a few weeks’ respite before the madness of the holiday season. Since we arrived, we’ve done little of consequence. And that’s the way it was supposed to be.

No Rotary meetings…no social events…nothing for which we must prepare or cook or copy.

It was several days before we made our way to the ocean. It beckons as you drive down A1A. It is sometimes seen, sometimes heard. You’re always aware of it, reminded by the surfboard toting young men crossing the road, the families walking, laden with beach stuff, the turtle protectors with their lighted helmets. We enjoyed our first view of the ocean. It was about 8 p.m. and the entire beach was covered with the incoming tide. Very different from the sandy beach spotted with swimmers and sun-worshippers that clog the space during the day.

The next time we planned to walk the beach, it rained. The next, we got home late from shopping. Then our vigorous session at the gym left no energy for beach walking. Suddenly it was time to leave and we had only been to the ocean once.

I feel guilty. Like we’ve broken some law of nature. The only saving grace – Next time we come down, the ocean will still be there, proud and awesome, awaiting and welcoming our visit.

P.S. Some things can’t be counted on to always be there, like the ocean. People, for instance. Put off a visit to a friend or relative long enough and they may no longer be there. No guarantee. Plan that visit and make that call. I’m going to – right now.

[Show #371]

To Whom Are You Beautiful

Backstory

Scientists use a mathematical equation to measure facial beauty. It’s called the Golden Ratio. It stands at odds with the premise that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” as proposed by author Margaret Wolfe Hungerford in 1878. For over a hundred years, Margaret’s insight has held true, as this story confirms.

To Whom Are You Beautiful?

I heard a wife tell her husband, “If I could give you one gift in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are to me.”

It truly is a gift to be seen through the eyes of love. We are beautiful, in the eyes of those who love us. And if we’re lucky, that person tells us often how much we are loved and cherished, and how beautiful we are – man or woman.

I so enjoy when you can see, just by looking at them, how much a couple care about each other. It is particularly true when they have been together for a long time.

At a recent community meeting, someone announced that a couple were celebrating their 45^th wedding anniversary. The husband stood up and added, “And I am still in love with her!” The spontaneous announcement was so touching, as his bride blushed at the public attention.

But he didn’t even need to say it out loud. You could tell by the loving way he treated her, that she was still that beautiful, flirtatious young woman who had captured his heart so many decades ago. That’s what HE saw when he looked at her, regardless of the whitened hair and wobbly knees that had become today’s reality.

To see them together was to believe in love all over again.

P.S. I love to see an older couple holding hands. It communicates love, trust, and empathy. Both parties enjoy a sense of belonging and security.

Reaching out your hand can benefit those around you too. People can feel alone even when in the presence of others. Touching or holding the hand of another conveys immediate, positive physical feedback. It interrupts the feeling of loneliness and replaces it with a sense of acceptance and understanding.

Be generous in reaching out your hand to touch or hold the hands of those around you.

[Show #458]

Family Dinner Chats

Backstory

On Thursday, your family may have more dinnertime interaction than any other time of the year. Thanksgiving will be repeated and enjoyed. So many blessings, even in such a chaotic world. Gratitude will be expressed – hopefully all around the table.

What are the discussions at the dinner table when it’s not a holiday? Could they use a pick-me-up?

Family Dinner Chats

If you are a family that comes together at dinner time, you are creating a wonderful forum for thought sharing. What do you discuss over dinner? Same old stuff?

You may want to think about some provocative questions to ask. See what’s really on the minds of your kids, or the other adults in your home, and see how they view things.

What if you asked mature adults, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” How would you answer that question? Or ask family members, “What do you see when you look out our front window?” You may be amazed at the array of responses from people who are looking at exactly the same thing.

Ask what your family members notice first when they meet a man or woman. Ok, so there may be grounds for some fun too.

Keep your mealtime interesting and imaginative. It could become your favorite time of day.

P.S. My most memorable Thanksgiving was the year that my husband, my mom and I attended service at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC. On the way back to our car, we noticed a lot of activity at another door. We found out that Thanksgiving dinner was being served – to anyone who came to the door.

Lots of people had come – and there were not enough volunteers to serve. Ken and I spent the afternoon shlepping turkey and trimmings. My mom was a natural in the role of self-appointed hostess, greeting and seating, chatting and generating smiles and laughter. Our most tiring, most joyful Thanksgiving was spent in the company of strangers gathered together to share. May your Thanksgiving bring you joy too.

[Show #166]

Cell Phone Mystique

Backstory

My husband wants no part of texting. He wants his phone to place and accept phone calls and take a message. Nothing more. And he refuses to send or accept text messages. So of course he has a flip phone. He’s so untrendy that he does not even know that he should be embarrassed by owning this outdated, one-dimensional device.

He enjoys how I can Google the world on my smart phone and check the weather or the price of a Persian rug. But for himself, he proudly announces, “I have a flippy!” like everyone should be jealous.

So we had a discussion of advances in telephony since 2000. He questioned how well I’ve adjusted to my ultra-sleek, multi-functional android smart phone. Actually, I just researched, Googled, queried and finally found the code for turning on the flashlight on my phone. That discussion led to this story.

Cell Phone Mystique

Remember the chaos when you and your family members used to get separated at the mall? What a production to gather everyone back together. Today, we just speed dial each other on our cell phones and meeting up is a cinch. We’re never out of touch anymore. Everyone is reachable 24/7.

But, oh how I wish I could understand how to access all the doodads and services on this tiny, magnificent communication device, my cell phone.

I could visit my appointment calendar, find out whose birthday I forgot, text my stockbroker, send photos to TV news broadcasts, pray for guidance. (Oh, you don’t have the cell phone model with access to heaven? Google it, my dear.)

Seriously though, every time I conquer another aspect of this very complicated, very efficient appliance, it baffles me with something new. I sometimes run out of 10-year-olds to ask how to operate my cell phone.

I’m texting now, but not when I am behind the wheel. And soon, I will move up to one of those really cool cell phones with access to the internet. You know, the Blueberry, or was it the Raspberry? I’ll let you know and you can call and get my new Hard Rock ringtone.

Annette Petrick, considering something absolutely unfathomable!

P.S. Hubby has other principles about communication. E mails pile up for weeks in his IN box. He’s not on social media. He does call people on the phone and occasionally may even leave a message. But he much prefers face to face communication when he can “look ‘im in the eye.”

The dinosaur I married still seals deals with a handshake, still takes his check into the office and hands it to a real live person, still stops in just to say hello. He is retro, but I love him and his flippy too.

[Show #229]

Time In the Car

Backstory

Enroute from the country into Northern Virginia, on our way to Washington, DC, we were stuck in traffic that filled every lane of the quadruple highway. There was no escape. We wondered aloud how people can tolerate this daily commute. After much fussing, I started imagining how those commuters might put that time to better use. This story was the outcome.

Time In the Car

OK, we are agreed that it takes multi-tasking to get it all done. But amidst all the rushing and accomplishing, it’s also necessary to take time for yourself.

Now does that sound like a contradiction? Well, multi-tasking may help there too.

Instead of being harried by the heavy traffic, use drive time in your car for your own enjoyment. Listen to soothing music. Tune in to this radio station. Slip in an inspirational CD and let the words flow over you. Enjoy listening to an audio book.

You can also use that time to think and plan. Choose a project and think it through.

Remind yourself how fortunate you are. Give thanks or say prayers out loud. Sing. Laugh. Refuse to give in to the tedium of the traffic jam.

The multi-task to avoid totally though is texting while you drive. Please don’t think you can get away with it, without taking your attention away from your driving.

No one can do that.

While you are texting, it’s like you have a blindfold on. When behind the wheel, you are in charge of lives – yours and those of other innocent people. Don’t take a chance. Texting while driving – Take it OFF your multi-tasking list, for good.

P.S. How do YOU spend time in the car? Did your actions ever produce something good? Something disastrous? Something hilarious? Please scroll down to COMMENTS and share your experiences of Time in the Car.

[Show #636]