Parenting/Children

Buy Your Time

Backstory

“Overwhelmed” is how parents with careers have described their days during the pandemic. A constant dual between family and work. Kids can get caught in the middle. This little guy had a solution.

Buy Your Time

A man came home from work late. He was tired and irritated and was actually hoping that his 5-year-old son was already in bed. Instead, there was the child excited to see his weary dad and full of questions.

“Daddy,” he asked, “how much do you make an hour?” Well, dad had no idea of where the conversation would lead. “If you must know, I make $50 an hour”. “Oh,” the little boy said, disappointed. “Could I borrow $25?”. Well, the father was just too tired to continue the conversation. But later, he went into the child’s bedroom to tuck his son in for the night.

“Here’s the money you wanted to borrow son. What’s it for?” “If I add it to what I saved up,” the little boy explained, “I’ll have $50. Now I can buy an hour of your time.” His dad looked dumbfounded. His son continued, “I’d like to have dinner with you Dad. Show you how good I throw a ball now and ride my bike really fast. I know you have to earn money for us, but I could give you the money if you could give me your time.” So easy for us to work so hard that time slips through our fingers. Be sure to share your valuable time with those who count.

P.S. How do you spend time with your kids? It doesn’t count if he is playing his video game over there and you are playing yours over here! Time that counts is time spent in the present when you’re listening and she is too. Not easy. Start out by lifting your eyes off the phone, looking each other in the face, and smiling. Does wonders.

Private Moments for Mothers

Backstory

The role of mother has always been pivotal. Even more so in times like a global pandemic and dangerous disruption. Mothers are called on to calm fears, provide balance, keep moving things in the right direction. And they do. This is for you.

Private Moments for Mom

This is a little private moment for the mothers in our audience. Did you ever think you’d be able to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Where did we learn how to do things like that?

What magical power was bestowed upon us for the years when our families needed us 24/7? Where did we get the patience to sit and rock for hours on end soothing a crying baby who refused to be comforted? Sometimes we know exactly what to do . . . and sometimes we don’t.

So this is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them. This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peace-loving and now pray they come home safely from a war.

The emotions of motherhood are universal and our thoughts today are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation, and mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single moms and married moms. Mothers with money, mothers without.

Hang in there. In the end, we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them and show them besides. And pray and never stop being a mom. No, never stop.

P.S. As Mother’s Day approaches and you consider a gift for your mom, put at the top of the list – time with her. Go shopping with her, take her to the park, cook her favorite dinner – together. Realize that YOU are the best gift she could get.

[Show #288]

The Wooden Bowl

Backstory

This episode is not original. It was related by a storyteller; those folks who face their audience with nary a teleprompter in sight and narrate their tales. Wish I knew the name of the storyteller, to share with you.

The Wooden Bowl

The frail old man could no longer live alone. He moved in with his son and his family. But things got off to a rocky start.

The old man’s hands trembled and his eyesight was blurred. When the family ate dinner together, food fell off his silverware. He spilled his milk. He dropped plates.

The son’s wife was irritated with the mess. Finally, they decided to set a small table in the corner where Grandpa could sit alone. This would keep everyone else from being annoyed by him as they ate. To avoid broken dishes, food was served at the little table in a wooden bowl.

His 8-year-old grandson thought he saw tears in the old man’s eyes at mealtime, but he made no objection. One evening the parents noticed their son busily at work with some pieces of wood.

“What are you making?” the father asked. The boy responded, “I’m making bowls for you and Mama to have your food in when you live with me when I grow up.”

The parents were speechless as tears welled up in their eyes. That evening the man’s son went over to his father’s place at the little table and took his hand. He gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days, the old man ate every meal with his son’s family. And for some reason, it didn’t seem to matter anymore when a fork was dropped, a drink spilled, or a tablecloth soiled.

P.S. I found that this story has been attributed to Tolstoy and also the Brothers Grimm. A compendium of tales from the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries lists this tale as being in circulation since 1535. It’s a pleasure to feature it here, yet again.

[Show #365]

Children’s Fantasy House

Backstory – Children’s Fantasy House

Today’s children don’t have the opportunities for imagining that we had fifty years ago. I’ll bet you had a private clubhouse or tent or fantasy house to play in. They were not plastic things you bought at Toys R Us. Might have been the treasure of a big cardboard box with doors and windows cut out. It could be any color and any purpose we wanted because it was created in our imagination.

I hope there are teachers and leaders out there who are creating platforms for imagination for today’s kids. If you know of any, please let me know.

In the meantime, here are the details of the fantasy house of my childhood.

Children’s Fantasy House

We passed a grove of peach trees today. They reminded me of the fantasy house I had as a child. It was at the foot of a coal bank in Northeastern Pennsylvania, in a cluster of peach trees.

We lived in anthracite territory, and banks of coal were a regular part of the landscape. We would take rocks and outline rooms in our fantasy homes. Under this tree was the living room. That tree covered the kitchen. If a tree was so low that you had to crawl under it, obviously, that had to be the bedroom.

Imaginations soared as my friends and I visited each other in our fantasy houses. The hours we spent designing the home we would have in the future. and the meals we’d serve. The parties we’d give and the children we would have.

And then . . . the blink of the eye and voila . . . there we were in the real world with real husbands and kids and houses.

You might say we got the chance to make our house dreams come true. We certainly were good with colors and styles and we keep everything clean and perky.

But somehow no domicile was ever quite as sweet as my fantasy home under the peach trees at the foot of the coal bank in Hudson, Pennsylvania.

P.S What fantasies did children conjure up during the pandemic lockdown? It was a rare opportunity to return to the land of imagination. Did the time at home inspire innovation? Or was it spent as the open gate to limitless video gaming? What have you seen, heard, or experienced?

[Show # 333]

I Bought Gifts

Backstory

This story first aired in 2014. It brought more comments than any previous story. It was featured again in 2017 and again brought a storm of response. Seems I was not the only one with this experience. Feel free to write your comments, after listening to what happened when I gave gifts to the children.

I Bought Gifts

I bought gifts for some children who were coming to visit. The kids were 5 years old, 8 and 13. The gifts totally bombed out. The kids were disappointed with them.

I had so enjoyed picking them out and making sure they were age-appropriate. And they were rejected with hardly a parent-induced, murmured “thanks.”

Who went wrong? Them or me?

Was it too much to expect a polite response from kids this age, even if they were not thrilled with the gift? Or am I placing MY expectations on THEM?

I can remember receiving presents as a kid; some bummers and some keepers. I hope I was gracious in my acceptance of both kinds. But was I?

And if I gushed over some out-of-style or mundane gift, was I being hypocritical? Was it more honest to show without a doubt that the gift was unwelcome?

Do the parents have a responsibility to instill in their kids the social concepts of civility and appreciation? Or do I just shrug, chalk it up to my bad and give the kids money next time, so they can go and buy something they’d like.

One thing for sure; I won’t be choosing any more gifts for these kids. Not because I’m mad at them, just because I am now assured that I have no concept of their preferences and desires.

Too bad. I really enjoyed shopping for those gifts.

P.S. Consider This Radio Show is now featured in Grand Magazine. Click here to subscribe. It’s my gift to you!

[Show #528]

The Distant Grandma

Backstory

Today’s grandmothers are on the go and may still be employed. They are just not available as they were when everyone lived nearby. Technology claims to be an answer for keeping in-touch – except for those of us who can’t remember their password, let alone install and operate apps on our tablet or watch.

When it comes to the gizmos and gadgets and digital equipment with which the kids are obsessed, grandparents are often left in the dust. We need wisdom, creativity and a slice of entrepreneurship to create effective intergenerational communication in this day and age.

The Distant Grandma

The role of grandmother can be challenging when distance separates generations.

In my childhood, most grandmothers lived within walking distance or were at least a short ride away. Not so today. So how does a grandmother get to know and enjoy her children’s children?

One Nanny has grand-kids who live about an hour’s drive away. She prepares dinner each Tuesday and totes it to their home, where she and the family share the meal. Then mom and dad have a night out while she spends time getting updated on the grand-kids’ lives.

Other grandmothers have turned to Skype. They may have scheduled weekly electronic visits or the grand-kids may dial up whenever they have something special to share. It’s a wonderful opportunity to watch babies blossom, week by week.

One grandma who is also the family genealogist takes a batch of old photos with her when she visits, and tells stories of earlier generations, how they got to America and how they prospered or struggled. She is also the unofficial custodian of the family heritage, sharing songs, costumes and history of the land of their ancestors.

If you are a grandmother, what do you do to stay in touch with busy grand-kids? Let us know, and we’ll share your ideas in a future show. Send your thoughts to Annette@considerthisradioshow.com, or respond on our website.

P.S.

Great resource for grandparenting – GRAND magazine helps provide solutions to the many challenges of being a grandparent in today’s tech-savvy world. Also recognizes that we are not ‘just’ grandparents. We are multifaceted human beings with many passions and interests, transitioning through life stages. GRAND sometimes features grandparent-themed stories from Consider This. Subscribe free. https://www.grandmagazine.com/

[Show #624]