Podcast Episodes

Southern Touch

Backstory

I have a dear friend who grew up in and now lives again in Mobile, Alabama. To me, she is the epitome of southern charm. I’ve learned a lot from her, including how to gush over gifts received and make a person feel really special. Imo inspired this story.

Southern Touch

I was originally from Pennsylvania; then New Jersey. After 40 years or so, I wound up being a resident of Virginia. I became a southerner.

As such, I latched on to one of the finest southern phrases = Y’all.

Good morning, y’all. Have y’all heard the news? Let’s go to y’all’s house.

Oh, I just love to use that phrase. It is so much more gentile than the plural of y-o-u that we used in coal country – Yous ready to go? What are yous doing? Uh. No finesse.

Of course, when I added that southern phrase to my northern accent, I got mixed reactions. But it worked so well, I even started using it when I put things in writing. You just might get an email from me with “Y’all” in it. Or it might be in a Christmas card. Or even a radio show.

Now if you really want to appreciate Southern Belle language, ask me about the story behind the southern phrase, “That’s nice.” Or the popular – “Bless his heart.” Adding that phrase to it allows you to take virtually any verbal insult, and repeat it in polite company – “He was such a twit, bless his heart.”

So y’all take a lesson from this southern yarn, y’hear? You can get away with saying ANYTHING as long as it’s said with a smile and a southern drawl.

Annette Petrick for Consider This, y’all.

P.S. My friend Imo could always make you feel special. That was the most endearing part of her southern charm.

[Show #379]

Poverty of Loneliness

Backstory

Social contact elevates the human spirit. Without it, people withdraw and don’t do as well. It’s particularly difficult for the elderly. Yet social isolation was demanded of us during the pandemic. One friend spent 14 months alone in her apartment without seeing a single person at her door.

Aging itself is often responsible for some loss of social contact. Friends die! They don’t mean to leave; they just have no choice. One single friend said she deliberately helps friends out, hoping she will be offered help when she needs it.

Poverty of Loneliness

The poverty of loneliness. It’s often suffered by the elderly who live alone or may no longer get around easily. This may lead to a lack of human touch – no hugs or handshakes, no faces smiling back. One time, I saw this issue dramatically addressed, of all things, by a group of teenagers.

An improv group I worked in was invited to perform a skit for high school students. We were to introduce the kids to the kinds of public service they might undertake as they entered the adult world.

The key character in our skit was an old man who lived alone. He got a phone call daily to be sure he was OK. The person calling this day was abrupt and business like, more anxious to get the calls over with, than to chat.

Then she realized that this call was the only contact he had each day, with the outside world. He was very lonely. Her call had made his day brighter ad more promising.

The skit had the desired impact on the teens. Inspired, several volunteered to make such calls. The only problem was, there was no such service. We made it up, for the purpose of our skit.

But the idea had gathered so much traction that the teenagers wound up creating such a group. Young people who called elderly folks daily, just to say hello.

These kids made a difference because the improv players hit on such a great idea to address the poverty of loneliness.

P.S. So how do you make new friends when you’re old? The basic truth is – it’s up to you to reach out. If that gets you out of your comfort zone, that’s OK. It will be worth the effort, even if you have to try more than once. Like card games? Seek a card club. Don’t know that game? Learn it. Check out organizations and clubs. Volunteer at a thrift shop. Attend a senior center or volunteer at one. Think service and watch new social interaction blossom into friendship.

[Show #662]

Time In the Car

Backstory

Enroute from the country into Northern Virginia, on our way to Washington, DC, we were stuck in traffic that filled every lane of the quadruple highway. There was no escape. We wondered aloud how people can tolerate this daily commute. After much fussing, I started imagining how those commuters might put that time to better use. This story was the outcome.

Time In the Car

OK, we are agreed that it takes multi-tasking to get it all done. But amidst all the rushing and accomplishing, it’s also necessary to take time for yourself.

Now does that sound like a contradiction? Well, multi-tasking may help there too.

Instead of being harried by the heavy traffic, use drive time in your car for your own enjoyment. Listen to soothing music. Tune in to this radio station. Slip in an inspirational CD and let the words flow over you. Enjoy listening to an audio book.

You can also use that time to think and plan. Choose a project and think it through.

Remind yourself how fortunate you are. Give thanks or say prayers out loud. Sing. Laugh. Refuse to give in to the tedium of the traffic jam.

The multi-task to avoid totally though is texting while you drive. Please don’t think you can get away with it, without taking your attention away from your driving.

No one can do that.

While you are texting, it’s like you have a blindfold on. When behind the wheel, you are in charge of lives – yours and those of other innocent people. Don’t take a chance. Texting while driving – Take it OFF your multi-tasking list, for good.

P.S. How do YOU spend time in the car? Did your actions ever produce something good? Something disastrous? Something hilarious? Please scroll down to COMMENTS and share your experiences of Time in the Car.

[Show #636]

Beautiful Old Faces

Backstory

I was browsing through old family photos. There was a close-up of a very old woman, taken back in the 40s. I was mesmerized by her. Wrinkled face spoke of her advanced age. Yet the light in her eyes and her warm smile exuded something I sought to define. Then it occurred to me. It was beauty.

Beautiful Old Faces

I love to be in the company of beautiful people. And one of the most beautiful types of face is an old one. The corrugated face has character. As you age, laughter etches grooves on your face. Imagine how much laughter it took to create that beautiful old face. That face may reflect a heart that has been broken – more than once.

But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. I tease my husband by tracing the laugh lines around his eyes. I claim to be the cause of the three on the left. Happy to take responsibility for those creases of love and laughter.

I love to be in the company of beautiful old people who know how to enjoy themselves, every single day. Who still know how to laugh – at your jokes and their jokes and at themselves.

And if they repeat those jokes often, be kind and listen in. Be amused and react as expected. You’ll make their day.

These older people are precious. They won’t be here forever. But while they are, help them not to waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. Seek out their company. Let them know they are beautiful. Learn from the stories they tell. Enjoy them.

And realize that one day, you will be them.

P.S. You want to see an old person beam? Put a grandbaby in her arms. Have him nuzzled by a puppy. Have a child present them with a handmade drawing. Listen to old music with them. Listen to their stories. Say a prayer with them. That light that beams from within brings beauty back into a tired old face as it shines with remembrance and joy.

[Show #651]

Train That Left the Station

Backstory

Sometimes love occurs at first sight. For others, patience is required as you move through life, happy and fulfilled, with just that one thing missing. He said he sought a life partner with depth, who was smart, caring and kind. Did she need to make a mean lasagna besides?

Train that left the Station

He had been a bachelor for more than 60 years. He was attractive, intelligent, financially secure, funny, interesting. He was what would be considered quite a catch for a woman of his day. He had a full and successful life with a career in a field he loved, lots of friends and loving family.

And yet romance had alluded him. He never found the time . . . or took the time . . . to look past the casual, to find a woman who could hold his attention and fill the void. After so many decades of a solitary life, he explained, he assumed that train had left the station. Fatherhood was not to be. Intimacy was not to be experienced.

And then she came into his life. Bustling and busy, bright and joyful. They became friends and enjoyed spending time together. They started doing for each other, and going places together. They started dating. And it all fell together so naturally, so happily.

A couple of years and they realized they wanted more and they got engaged. They’re now approaching 3,000 days together. He’s counted them.

How do I know? I am the train that pulled into his station. Big red caboose and all.

P.S. Sequestering during the pandemic added a new 24/7 dimension to our togetherness. Our train just chugged on through and out the other side. Now all we seek is just one more day. And then one more and perhaps another . . . And give thanks on every one of those days.

[Show #629]

New Home

Backstory

We wanted to downsize, but intended to continue pursuing interests, hobbies and time with old and new friends and loved ones. So we wanted a home with personal office spaces, guest accommodations and community spirit. One with trees and gardens and neighbors who care. We expected a long and tiring search. But the universe had other plans.

New Home

We had lived in the big house at the foot of the mountain for the last ten years. They had been wonderful years, filled with parties and antique purchases and fun. A dozen cars could park in our circular driveway. The six acres were filled with trees and shrubs and plants. The previous owner had been a master gardener and we were enjoying the fruits of his labors.

But time marches on and we could see that our future preferred a home that made less demands.

The big question was whether there was a market to sell this 5,000 square foot house and all the outbuildings. Seemed that many others were downsizing, just as we were planning to do.

Then an amazing thing happened. We received an offer to buy the house. Just like that! The buyer’s situation had changed and she desired and could afford our estate-size property.

We accepted the offer and turned to the Internet to find new lodging. First house I found online was so appealing. We loved the quiet, 24 home community, postage size lot, charming gardens, wonderful decorating extras. Little more than half the size of the big house. We made an offer on the spot. Four days later, both deals were finalized.

How could such game-changing events take place so quickly and so easily? Sometimes the universe opens remarkable opportunities. It’s our job to be wise enough to recognize them and accept them.

P.S. Year three in our bungalow and it’s still just right for us. Recently a Starbucks Café opened up, just down the street. All’s right with the world.

[Show #663]