When things finally calm down and we can interact, the time will come when you are together with a friend or relative who has recently lost a loved one. It may be the time for words of comfort and encouragement. Or perhaps this is the time for less advice and more listening, with your heart.
After the Mourning
It was a difficult time. The mourning was over and it was time to move on. Yet it was hard. Everything was changed now; nothing felt comfortable. What to do? Where to go?
Friends and relatives who gathered around her had now returned to their lives and loved ones. They had left so much advice, so much confusion. After so many years of contentment and reliability, she was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other.
One evening, a friend arrived bearing a basket. “Oh no,” she thought, “I just cannot face another batch of homemade brownies or muffins that are supposed to mysteriously cheer me up.”
But no, the basket was filled with candles; new and used candles in every shape and size. Dozens of them. At her friend’s insistence, they set the candles out and started lighting them. One . . . a dozen . . . twenty . . . more. The whole room sparkled as their light grew brighter and deeper.
Suddenly she got it! No words were needed. She smiled at her friend over the candles’ warm glow; for she remembered the choice she had before, when things were different, she had now, and she would always have – To curse the darkness or light candles to lead the way.
Sometimes friends step in just in time.
Loneliness also set in while we were sheltering in place. There may be some adjusting required to get back in your groove, once you introduce people and activities back into your life. More likely, you’ll find a new groove.