Backstory
Mothers of adult children are often involved when family members have issues with which to cope. Mothers are the soft place to land, so we get turned to, in times of stress. We cope and help others to cope. Don’t we?
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Coping Skills – #643
Someone sent a photo around on the Internet recently. It showed a dog prancing on its hind legs. You got the impression it was showing off. Then you realized it was walking that way because it had lost its front legs. The animal had figured out how to keep going. It’s an important lesson for people too; how to keep going.
Our town recently had a period of multiple young deaths. Week after week, we were offering sympathy and condolences to parents who could not understand why fate had let them down and taken away their child.
At one of the services, someone said wisely, “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”
Gather up your own coping skills and be ready to put them to use.
As we get older or wiser, we seem to be often called on to cope. A friend loses a loved one, someone becomes seriously ill, circumstances make critical changes in a person’s life. They may all turn to YOU for support, advice and assistance.
You help them most by effectively conveying the need to just keep going. What you say can make a big difference in their ability to cope. Practice what you would say to someone who turns to you for help. Be ready, when the call comes.
P.S.
A philosophy helps to cope with adversity. It can be a cliché or a bolt of wisdom. Two things I have found to be true – 1) When one door closes, another opens. 2) People come into your life for a season or a reason. Listen to the story with that theme at https://considerthisradioshow.com/reason-season-lifetime/.
[Show #643]
My wife lost her father in a construction accident when she was 16. With one thing and another we became a three generation household which has lasted 57 years. I asked my mother-in-law how she dealt with the tragedy of losing her husband of 20 years. Despite being a practical person she said it turned her world upside down. She dealt with it one day at a time. At one point her cousin asked her why she wasn’t grieving? The answer given was, “I’ll grieve on my time. In the meantime I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. Besides being a waste of time, it won’t change anything and I have two teenage children to look after.” Practical? Yes but wise also.
Thank you, George, for that story. You must have many more, from the triple generation period. Each incident of loss proves that grieving and coping are very personal. Definitely no onesizefitsall.