Backstory
Heading into retirement years, many of my friends have now led several different lives – more than one marriage, multiple careers, cultures in different parts of the country or the world. Included in their decades of living is loss. Yet they seem to have recovered and moved on. They told me how it works.
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Losing Love #167
The county song says that unanswered prayers may be our greatest blessing. That’s hard to swallow when you lose love. But whether it disappears, dies, or is dismissed, losing love is painful. The only saving grace is to learn from the lesson and apply it, the next time around.
Why did love go wrong? So often, that question is answered by pointing fingers. But if we look deeply into our hearts and souls, we might find important factors.
Sometimes we love too much and it’s smothering. Sometimes we miss the cues for what’s important to the other person. The saddest mistake is when we revert to bad behavior. We’re determined to never do that again and it comes out, just the same.
Should you lose love, at least don’t lose the lesson. Keep it to improve, the next time love comes your way.
P.S.
Recognize the different types of love that surround you. Romantic love is nice. But don’t underestimate the practical love of friends who are there for you. Great warmth can come from your grandchildren or somebody else’s grandkids. Volunteers find love and satisfaction in the service they perform. If you’ve lost love, stay open to all kinds of fresh new love.
[Show #167]
Often, people put too much emphasis on romantic love. They don’t recognize the warmth and concern of friends and family as “genuine love.” When love has newly left you, it is so hard to remember to love yourself – to continue to do the little things that bring you contentment and peace… but it is oh so necessary, to give you the strength to carry on.
Yes. That’s exactly the message. Thank you.
Yes, we so often limit our understanding of love. Today’s gospel lesson in church highlighted the importance of love:
“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
And all the norms of social conduct and compassion.
A timely topic as we all are experiencing a loss or at least reduced contact with those we love during this pandemic. Wise words.
It’s taking a toll, Kathy. We need to stay strong.