Backstory
Bill and I watched a British movie the other night. The lives of a whole family changed dramatically in less than a year. Some of the characters tried desperately to cling to the way things were; others rushed blindly toward change. Contemplation on those fictitious events led to consideration about how fast change occurs in real life.
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People Change – #315
Do you think people can change? I’ll bet you’ve seen it happen in your own life. Someone is grieving and unhappy and really off balance and yet, over time they straighten themselves out. Sometimes it’s the love of another person that helps them move on, or the person himself that may learn to live with the way things are. Or she may find new interests and a new way to participate.
Psychologists say that major changes in life take four years to accomplish.
For instance, a college graduate carries the person he or she was in school into the first four years of their career. It takes that long to lose the essence of being a student and adopt to the professional lifestyle.
They say it takes empty nesters a full four years to think like a family of just two.
It takes four years before the remarried person is totally comfortable with this new person.
Do you agree?
It probably seems the change occurs a lot faster than that. But we’re talking about change to the core. Change of your very being from the previous person you were to the skin and heart and soul of the person you have become; someone who has created contemporary values for their today, not their yesterday.
P.S.
What do you think? Are we humans so flexible that we can move from one corner to the next and take it all in stride? Or do we need to give ourselves – and others – time to adjust, become familiar, get into a groove that’s comfortable. Scroll down and jot down your thinking, please.
[Show #634]
I believe that a change – any kind of change – is mostly dependent on the individual. Some of us truly like the idea of change; we see it more as a challenge than a change. In our daily life, “changers” are more likely to divert plans, make sudden (often “too” sudden!) decisions, forget constraints, over-react, or over-reach…all with the idea that change is ‘better’. Conversely, some of us dread change, and simply cannot deal with it. We let ourselves get into a pattern of habits that control most of what we do. We cannot abide with change; we prefer constancy. We cannot deal with “Who Moved My Cheese?” Who’s got the edge on change? All of us? Some of us? None of us?
You ask the questions of the ages, imo. What’s best is what brings the most contentment and produces spontaneous bursts of joy. The person who finds that, has found the answer.
I was surprised to hear psychologist say it takes four years to adjust to a change. I was advised to allow two years to adjust after making a cross country move. Having made three such moves, my experience was I adjusted in the 18-24 month period. The three moves occurred within a seven year window of time. With the pace of life today, requiring four years to make bone deep change seems unrealistic if one is to feel settled and adjusted to their new reality.
Your challenge is appreciated, Karen. Will do further research on that.