advice

Only Then Understand

Backstory

Don’t you just love it when you tell one of your children how things will be – and then they are? That’s what happened with this story.

My daughter wanted me to convey all my motherly knowledge. She wanted it all at hand, the moment her baby was born. I could tell that she was prepared to be a mom who would be far superior to the last generation of bumbling parents

I smiled inside. But outside, I gave advice, told stories, and tried to fill her cup to overflowing with maternal wisdom.

This story was written after she came back with a response to one of the predictions I gave her that came true.

Only Then Understand

My daughter was expecting her firstborn. They were thrilled beyond words. I was fortunate to have time to spend with her during her pregnancy when we could just think and marvel at the miracle happening to her.

As we sat on the swing one summer evening, I confided to her, “One of these days, you will be rocking your beautiful, perfect child. . . and suddenly, something will occur to you, about your own mother.

It will finally sink in why your mother was strict and demanding and protective and all the things you didn’t want her to be. You’ll realize . . . It was not because she was mean or out to ruin your life, as you may have thought at the time. It was all done out of the kind of love you now feel for your own child. Only then will you understand how much YOU were loved.”

A few months later, she called me, tears in her voice. “Mom,” she said, “Tonight it happened. I was rocking the baby and looking at his beautiful face…and thinking how much I love him . . . I suddenly understood how much you loved me. Thank you, mom, thank you so much for loving me SO MUCH.”

Is it all worth it . . . what you go through to be a mother? Oh yes, oh yes, indeed!

P.S. Of course, I had to smile after this call from my daughter. I was so glad she called to share the fact that she had experienced what I predicted.

Imagine how many things happen in the lives of our children that we predicted. Our advice or sharing may have helped them – or perhaps caused them pain. We are so influential, it’s a huge responsibility. One that never ends.

[Show #05-290]

Conflicting Advice

Backstory

New facts emerge and the expert advice goes off in a different direction. Then a new happening heads us elsewhere. Whoop. It was just a rumor. Back to square one. Wait a minute. Where was square one again???

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Conflicting Advice – #523

There are so many experts out there today. People who think they know better than you what is best for you. Listening to them all can seem like a cacophony of conflicting advice. You follow the rules for overcoming this bad habit this week and the next week the rules are the reverse of what you have been doing.

Today, the advice is to turn left; tomorrow you’re told to turn right. Seems to me the key is knowing your own mind, spirit and body and making your own decisions about what’s best for you.

I saw a news report recently about how Facebook is bad for your health because it’s addictive. Well, of course, we’ve all heard stories about people getting sucked into online chat rooms or dark places, or social media to the exclusion of all else – job, family, friends. But we don’t shut down a tool that facilitates billions of communications because of the few who get lost.

One-third of seniors will fall this year. But we don’t put old folks in football helmets to save them from this fate. Maybe what’s needed is a large dose of caution and a little common sense added to the advice of experts.

Get more than one opinion, check the accuracy of the facts, consider the pros and cons, set up your own filters before following advice blindly. That even applies to the advice just provided.

P.S.

I sometimes think – if I could only stop the swirl for a few moments, maybe I could figure things out. Give yourself some quiet, contemplative time each day for respite. It’s precious. Better decisions are made when you are calm, rested and composed. Go there.

[Show #523]

Advice From My Mentor

Backstory

The biggest gift a mentor can give is to provide you with words to live by; advice that serves you well for a lifetime. This is the treasure received from mine.

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Advice From My Mentor – #309

I once had a mentor when I appeared frequently as a guest speaker. We were talking about leaving lasting impressions; something every speaker hopes to do. He said, “People may not remember what you look like, or what you wore, or even what you said. But they will always remember how you made them feel.” How true.

What a gift is given by the person who makes you feel good. It can happen in front of a large audience or with a silent touch of a hand smoothing a child’s hair. Grasping the fingers of a loved one, giving private comfort or nurturing to someone in pain.

Treasure each time you have the opportunity to make another person feel good. Not only does it help the recipient, it’s good for the giver as well. That ethereal feeling that today, even in a minuscule way, you have made the world a better place for the way you made someone feel.

The rose is lovely, the cloudless blue sky is a delight. But the best and most beautiful things of this world can’t be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.

You can be the person who feels such a touch, or one who gives such a touch. Better still, be a giver and a receiver both.

P.S.

Here’s how to start out, making people feel better – Smile. Smile at people first. Smile at strangers. Smile in elevators. Then – generously give compliments. Sincere ones, but don’t be shy about admiring a lovely necklace, beautiful hair, a friendly dog. Like smiles, compliments work wonders – and they’re free.

[Show #309]