friends

Life

Backstory

In recognition of her fortieth birthday, my daughter wrote a list of the things she has done – significant and ordinary. They tracked a life well lived that produced a mature woman of strength and well-defined values. It got me thinking. So much learned and so much left to comprehend.

Life

I was thinking the other day about the things I’ve learned in life so far.

On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles four different things – a rainy day…the elderly…lost luggage, or tangled Christmas tree lights.
I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life.’
That children grow up much too fast, right before your eyes.
That it’s a lot better to do it right away than to put it off.
I discovered that life sometimes gives you a second chance, and sometimes a third and a fourth.
I believe you should not go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it can elude you. But if you focus on family, friends, and the needs of others, happiness will come looking for you.
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

P.S. Learning is essential to our existence. Today’s inclusive culture requires discovering new ways of relating to people, both those who have been staples in our lives and the new acquaintances evolving. What an exciting time to learn anew and expand our individual worlds.

[Show #366]

The Ocean Awaits

Backstory

Since the pandemic took over our lives, we’ve become accustomed to postponements and cancellations. Events and visits and plans are on, they’re off; mask, no mask, warnings on, warnings off. This week’s story is about an attitude to adopt to help navigate these turbulent waters.

The Ocean Awaits

We came down to Florida for a few weeks’ respite before the madness of the holiday season. Since we arrived, we’ve done little of consequence. And that’s the way it was supposed to be.

No Rotary meetings…no social events…nothing for which we must prepare or cook or copy.

It was several days before we made our way to the ocean. It beckons as you drive down A1A. It is sometimes seen, sometimes heard. You’re always aware of it, reminded by the surfboard toting young men crossing the road, the families walking, laden with beach stuff, the turtle protectors with their lighted helmets. We enjoyed our first view of the ocean. It was about 8 p.m. and the entire beach was covered with the incoming tide. Very different from the sandy beach spotted with swimmers and sun-worshippers that clog the space during the day.

The next time we planned to walk the beach, it rained. The next, we got home late from shopping. Then our vigorous session at the gym left no energy for beach walking. Suddenly it was time to leave and we had only been to the ocean once.

I feel guilty. Like we’ve broken some law of nature. The only saving grace – Next time we come down, the ocean will still be there, proud and awesome, awaiting and welcoming our visit.

P.S. Some things can’t be counted on to always be there, like the ocean. People, for instance. Put off a visit to a friend or relative long enough and they may no longer be there. No guarantee. Plan that visit and make that call. I’m going to – right now.

[Show #371]

Today’s Dream

Backstory

With more than seven decades of dreams to explore, I was having a good time remembering enjoyment, embarrassment, delight, disappointment, and temporary devastation. I had plans. Some worked out. Some made God laugh. Thinking about how my dreams have changed led to this story.

Today’s Dream

I found I’ve changed some of my dreams because they’re no longer any fun. Like air travel, when you have to endure lines and safety precautions that go over the top and risk delays and inconvenience. Traveling the world was once high on my list of priorities. It’s off now.

If I never see the pyramids up close or visit the cathedrals or the fjords, I can still appreciate them; enjoy them from afar and listen attentively to the stories of friends who have been there.

Where I will go out of my way to travel is to see friends. Watching the door open to reveal a precious face that I have not kissed in years. Now that is the prize at the end of the rainbow. It is much more appealing these days than looking at exquisite buildings or lifeless structures.

Oh, I know that your dreams are probably bigger than mine these days, and I congratulate you on that. May they all come true. And when they do, be sure to reflect on your good fortune. No sense in having dreams without recognizing when they’ve been fulfilled.

Here’s to the best of your dreams and all the plans in the works to realize them.

P.S. Consider This had once been a dream. The 90-second show has been broadcast on the radio for fifteen years now, with one story emailed each Sunday morning for most of that time. Over 700 shows have been written and recorded. Thanks so much for listening to or reading some of them and sharing them with friends.

[Show #711]

Emotional planning

Backstory

New Year’s Eve. Will that be party time at your house? What’s it like when your family gets together? All sweetness and light? Or are there factors or people who may use the function to retread old grudges or regrets? Anyone who may tip the bottle a bit and present My Hyde instead of Dr. Jekyll?

If your family is not exactly The Brady Bunch, you may do well to have ideas for deescalating friction.

Emotional Planning

Planning a big party or event? Be sure to plan for the emotional aspects as carefully as you plan the menu. If you are the host, be sure not to spread yourself too thin. Set realistic limits, aim for comfort, not perfection. Don’t let yourself get over tired so that you get cranky.

With large groups, keep everyone active rather than sitting around waiting for an argument to erupt. Play games, get outside, throw a ball around. Everyone will be less sluggish, which will put them in a better mood.

Too much togetherness can be smothering. Get away now and then. Even if it is to close your eyes and lay down for five minutes.

Humor is also a great tool for reducing stress and bringing people closer. If things start to get tense, make a joke of it. Or recall amusing incidents that bring on smiles. People won’t remember what was on your menu, but they will remember how you made them feel.

P.S. As the year draws to a close, there is so much to ponder. Our world has been changing under our feet, ready or not. It’s been easy, this year, to get lost and confused. At this time, remember how many times you showed courage in the last year. How often you went out of your way for others. Count your good steps, take credit for them and go forward doing the best you can, in your own little world. It’s what’s expected of you. Happy New Year.

[Show #170]

After the Mourning

Backstory

When things finally calm down and we can interact, the time will come when you are together with a friend or relative who has recently lost a loved one. It may be the time for words of comfort and encouragement. Or perhaps this is the time for less advice and more listening, with your heart.

After the Mourning

It was a difficult time. The mourning was over and it was time to move on. Yet it was hard. Everything was changed now; nothing felt comfortable. What to do? Where to go?

Friends and relatives who gathered around her had now returned to their lives and loved ones. They had left so much advice, so much confusion. After so many years of contentment and reliability, she was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other.

One evening, a friend arrived bearing a basket. “Oh no,” she thought, “I just cannot face another batch of homemade brownies or muffins that are supposed to mysteriously cheer me up.”

But no, the basket was filled with candles; new and used candles in every shape and size. Dozens of them. At her friend’s insistence, they set the candles out and started lighting them. One . . . a dozen . . . twenty . . . more. The whole room sparkled as their light grew brighter and deeper.

Suddenly she got it! No words were needed. She smiled at her friend over the candles’ warm glow; for she remembered the choice she had before, when things were different, she had now, and she would always have – To curse the darkness or light candles to lead the way.

Sometimes friends step in just in time.

P.S.

Loneliness also set in while we were sheltering in place. There may be some adjusting required to get back in your groove, once you introduce people and activities back into your life. More likely, you’ll find a new groove.

[Show #05]

Youngest I Will Ever Be

Backstory

I was reading about Eleanor Roosevelt, a woman to admire. She once said, “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” It made me remember the time I wrestled with that concept. Here’s the story.

Youngest I Will Ever Be

The fair is in town and I’m trying to decide whether to go. I have been to the fair many times. Nothing new. It’s trouble to get everything together, drive out there, find a place to park, walk around a lot. Easier just to stay home.

But you know what? That’s what old folks do. Often, it’s what they have to do – either because of physical disabilities or because they lack the spirit to join in a celebration. So, when I consider whether to go, I have to remember: this is the youngest I will ever be! Now, today.

I may not be young enough to go tomorrow or next year when the fair comes along. I may not have the joy. I may no longer be able to drive. I want to enjoy every single simple thing there is to do. I want to do today, the same things I did yesterday.

Don’t need to see the Grand Canyon again. Can live without a weekend in Paris. But I don’t want to give up the joy of being with friends… or hearing a baby laugh… or shopping downtown in quaint little old stores. You have to be young to pull yourself to get out and do those things.

But you know what? The fair is here now and this is the youngest I will ever be. So, I’m not staying home. Oh no. I’m out the door and on my way. Y’all come on along, y’hear?

It’ll be fun. And this IS the youngest you will ever be!

P.S.

After so many months of sheltering in place during the pandemic, we are all really in the market for getting out and going. Don’t get carried away though. Keep wearing the mask and following protocol while enjoying your new freedom

[Show #647]