Happiness

Life

Backstory

In recognition of her fortieth birthday, my daughter wrote a list of the things she has done – significant and ordinary. They tracked a life well lived that produced a mature woman of strength and well-defined values. It got me thinking. So much learned and so much left to comprehend.

Life

I was thinking the other day about the things I’ve learned in life so far.

On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles four different things – a rainy day…the elderly…lost luggage, or tangled Christmas tree lights.
I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life.’
That children grow up much too fast, right before your eyes.
That it’s a lot better to do it right away than to put it off.
I discovered that life sometimes gives you a second chance, and sometimes a third and a fourth.
I believe you should not go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it can elude you. But if you focus on family, friends, and the needs of others, happiness will come looking for you.
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

P.S. Learning is essential to our existence. Today’s inclusive culture requires discovering new ways of relating to people, both those who have been staples in our lives and the new acquaintances evolving. What an exciting time to learn anew and expand our individual worlds.

[Show #366]

Because She Loves Him

Backstory

This is a story you will relate to if you have been married for a long time. If not, let it be some good advice to assure that your marriage lasts a long time.

It’s about dealing with one of those things that maddens you about your partner. You know the kind of thing. It’s totally insignificant, in the big picture. No, it will not matter, five years from now. And yet you wish against wish that he just would not do that, or that she would remember to do that.

Isn’t it funny; the things we choose over which to get upset? It could be an issue left over from childhood. It could be a reminder of an embarrassing incident or one that you would rather forget. Could be something that goes against your values to the point where you want to explode.

Seems the woman in our story came up with an even better idea. See if you agree with her strategy.

Because She Loves Him

They were leaving that day for a few weeks in Florida. The wife had made her lists, put her stuff together, had check marks on just about everything on the list, and was ready to go.

The husband . . . well, he was still deciding which fishing poles to take. The car had not gotten washed as he planned and not everyone was informed of what was expected of them while the couple was away.

She could find it maddening. Why hadn’t he spent his time doing his share? She could yell . . . Bang around . . . Scold him and put him down.

Instead, she went and read a book, ignoring the sounds of his hustling. You see, she loves him. And she found out years ago that he is who he is. And not being ready on time is one of his traits. She could hate it and fight it or she could find a way to cope.

So she stretches the truth a bit, telling him they have to leave at noon, when the actual ETD is 2 p.m. She knows that with a few extra hours, he’ll almost be ready. She’ll then gently remind those things he was most likely to forget, and they’ll be on their way – perhaps a little late but happy.

Sounds like a 1950’s sitcom strategy. But it works, because she loves him enough to accept him as he is and to be a managing partner, when necessary.

What a wise woman. A master at turning lemons into lemonade. This is the essence of love.

P.S. This story explored strategies to handle the frustration. What do you do about it? Talk it through? Holler and throw dishes? Get angry and sulk? None of those is known to result in positive outcomes. So maybe you take up kickboxing or pull out your Crayolas and adult coloring book, or hire a therapist.

[Show #265]

Empty Seat

Backstory

“You make me happy.” It’s often said when you have someone with whom there is mutual love and respect. When you find yourself smiling as you think of someone, you can’t help but assign happiness to them. Yet the true source of happiness comes from inside. We make the decision every day whether to be happy or not; whether we realize it or not. This story is about the happiness that comes from within.

Empty Seat

It’s a beautiful day and you’re driving through our countryside. Cloudless sky, green mountains, all is right with the world. And you know . . .

It IS that way, whether the seat next to you is empty or not.

Too often, we depend on other people for our happiness. Spouse . . . children . . . friends . . . co-workers. Yet when all is said and done, each of us is responsible for our own happiness.

Prayers are comforting if they are said in the quiet of your home, or with a church full of people. A beautiful song is just as melodic, whether it’s heard by one person or hundreds. It can take you soaring . . . and give you a smooth landing. Sometimes you get more benefit from listening to the notes by yourself, where they can wash over you without distraction.

Being alone is sometimes a gift; a break brought to you by the universe because it’s time to refocus on YOU.

Next time you are alone, don’t rush to fill the space. Let the empty seat next to you give you serenity and the time to look inward. You may find something there that you missed before. Or you may discover ideas that are fresh and new.

You may like what you see and hear and feel.

P.S. Being alone and being lonely. Quite a difference between the two. I have experienced both. Probably you have, too. Do stop and consider. If the seat next to you is empty, it may be time for you to regroup, check things out. It may be time to change paths a little. You do so much for others. Take some time for yourself now and make sure things are the way they should be. Spend some time with yourself and check out your happiness quotient.

[Show #17]

Believe in Love

Backstory

Have you been in love? How do you explain the feelings engendered by the very nearness of your beloved? What mixture of internal chemistry creates those flashes of ecstasy? Those were the questions pondered by this newly smitten, curious but confused scientist.

Believe in Love – #418

I believe in love, always have. I met someone several years ago who had never been in love. Oh, he loved – his nieces and nephews, his parents, and good friends. But he never felt the passion of having someone in his life who mean more to him than life itself.

And then it happened. He found her and they became soulmates. At last, he knew what it was to be in love.

He was a scientist. As he experienced these new feelings, he insisted on understanding what created them. What made him light up when she walked into the room? Why were all standards of beauty now set by her?

His true contentment came when he stopped trying to understand why and allow the feeling to just wash over him, to consume him, to be a part of his very being. He’s a changed man, now that he’s found and accepted love.

I guess I’m glad that I’m not a scientist. I don’t need to understand what makes it feel so good to be in love.

I believe in the sun, even if it isn’t shining, I believe in God even when He is silent, I believe in love even when I’m alone. And those beliefs bring me joy and contentment. I hope they do the same for you.

P.S.

It’s a pleasure to report that twelve years into his love affair, the scientist remains smitten with the woman of his dreams, who is now his wife. Happy Valentine’s Day.

[Show #418]

Heartbreak

Backstory

In times like these, it can seem like everything is going wrong. Emotional hurts on top of all the larger issues can be overwhelming. Time to take stock and get real.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Heartbreak – #171

As life progresses, you find it doesn’t always follow the path of fairy tales to the “live happily ever after” ending. You may be let down by the one person you thought would always support you. You’ll have your heart broken, probably more than once. You’ll break hearts too.

You’ll fight with your best friend; you’ll blame a new love for things done by an old one. You’ll speak harshly or you’ll be impatient. You’ll realize the time is passing too fast and eventually . . . you’ll lose someone you love.

How can you protect yourself? Take lots of pictures, digital and mental. Laugh too much, love like you’ve never been hurt. Be there, even for those that have let you down, because every 60-seconds you spend upset or angry is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin.

P.S.

Life does begin, more than once. Your new beginning may be just around the corner. Or it may have already happened, and you just haven’t recognized it yet. Be open to the new experience. Explore it, look at it from different angles. Be willing to open up to love and friendship again. It’s worth the risk

[Show #171]

Smile

Backstory

Mom used to encourage me to smile. She wisely taught that you can get away with a lot if you present things with a big smile. I got a lot of traction with that advice, so I thought I’d pass it on.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Smile – #305

The other day, we did a show about losing weight and the struggle it can be. It was meant to make you smile. I hope it did. We know that a healthy body is important enough to work on it. But it can also have ironies that are humorous to say the least.

I like to smile, don’t you? I heard once how many facial muscles it takes to smile and a lot, lot more to frown. So, the decision to smile a lot is a good one, an easy one. One that brings rewards such as smiles returned and a feeling that perhaps you are lifting the day for someone who has not had many smiles that day.

What makes you smile? The face of a child, a kiss on the cheek, an email from a friend, an unexpected compliment? Maybe a youngster adorably struggling to learn a new skill? Well, I hope there are many things that bring a lift to your lips.

Smiles taste good and look good too! They’re like an instant facelift. They’ll do more for your sex appeal than stilettos or a hairpiece.

Are you smiling yet? Take a look in the mirror, next time you do. See how appealing you look wearing your favorite smile.

Here’s hoping you have cause to smile often today and every day.

P.S.

And if you have a bad day and can find absolutely no reason to raise the corners of your lips, may you come in contact with people who are smiling. Borrow one of theirs. You can always give it back.

[Show #305]