kindness

Children Listen

Backstory – Children Listen

I over-heard a scolding being given to a couple of early school students. I could see their eyes glazing over as they heard what I could tell were the same messages that had been delivered often before. It was going right over their heads. I wondered what the scolder expected to accomplish with her tirade. As I considered that “there ought to be a better way,” this story developed.

Children Listen

Children! They are something! Do they ever listen? You repeat the rules over and over every single day and the kids just don’t seem to be tuned in. The door is slammed . . . the clothes are thrown . . . their room is always a mess.

Is there some precious day when this will all change? When suddenly, they will pay attention? Will there be a blessed day when you can stop hearing yourself repeat for the hundredth time?

It’s a universal fact; children are not good at listening. But they are VERY good at imitating. When they see adults smoke . . . or curse . . . or complain, they are learning far more than they do from repeated scolding.

They will indeed do what you do, not what you say. Children listen and watch more than you realize.

When they see parents interact with love, and treat each other with respect, it is creating a pattern they will try to imitate when it’s time. The parents who model impatience, yelling and hurt are also setting models that will be followed.

We want the very best for our children. That’s often why the teachings are repeated over and over. But maybe, just maybe, it’s more important to SHOW them, than to tell them. Those are the lessons that stick.

Be sure that what they learn when they watch you live your life will lead to imitation of a positive kind.

P.S.

Be kind. That’s a trending concept. My great grandson has bought into it. At 11 years old, he finds many ways, each day, to practice kindness. We talk about it in a private session, because he does not go around bragging about being kind. And when we do, we often find new evidence of empathy. Sometimes he even points out something I said or did that was kind. But if this is one generation teaching the other, he is absolutely the Sensei and I the pupil.

[Show #337]

Just Like You

Backstory

The song was from the If You’re Going Through Hell album by country singer, Rodney Atkins. It was titled Watching You and it was released in 2006. It’s the tearjerker behind this story.

Just Like You

There’s a country song I love. A father is singing about his young son who lets loose with a profanity. “Where did you learn to speak like that?” the father demands. “From you daddy,” the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

Later in the song, the father is redeemed when he hears his son speak original words to God and asks where he learned to pray like that. “From you daddy”, the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

How often do we wonder where one of our children gets an attitude, or a prejudice, or passion? Often, we just need to look in the mirror to find the source. The things that you say and do everyday influence everyone around you; for the good, and for the bad.

So, when you decide what kind of stance to take, think twice about what you say. The position you take may well become the same one your children will carry into the next generation. You may never hear your child say, “Mommy, I want to be just like you.” But how often has it occurred to you, “Oh my God, I have become my mother” or “I have become my father.”

When that thought occurs to your child, make sure it makes them smile, not frown. And when your children become you, make sure they can be proud of the person they’ve become.

P.S.

In 2021, there is more need than ever for parents to display the traits you want offspring to emulate. Are you standing up against bullying? Have you explained ways to channel anger? Have you practiced conversations that respect all points of view? Kids are on a new playing field these days that may require patient consideration and discussion. Be sure your children can find that at home.

[Show #485]

The Small Stuff

Backstory

When I looked around, while in lockdown, I started re-imagining my future in simpler terms. Here are some of the views that evolved.

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The Small Stuff – #632

There comes a point in your life when you decide to enjoy the birds and the trees in your view,

rather than worrying about whether the grass is cut.

In the words of Richard Carlson, “Don’t sweat the small stuff . . . and it’s all small stuff.”

Life is too short and too valuable to spend it on small stuff. Decide who matters and who never did, who won’t matter anymore, and who always will. Keep close to you, those who bring you joy and laughter. Separate out those who bring darkness into your life. Decide who you want to help and learn how to say no with a smile and a hug.

THAT may be the hardest of all. But it’s your RIGHT to make those decisions. It’s your life. Don’t worry about people from your past, who should not be allowed in your future. Leave room in your heart for new friends and connections yet to come. Treasure those who are with you now and show your appreciation.

Repay kindness . . . do favors . . . give of your talents. Take the time to create memories that matter for you and those you love. Creating new memories takes time. Take the time. Of all the gifts we can give, memories of happenings you’ve created may just be the most precious of all.

P.S.

Some of the happiest retired folks I know are those who are now taking the time for friends, neighbors and relatives. It is these relationships that give them the most joy these days even though the connection may have to be electronic.

[Show #632]

Job Hopping

Backstory

Seems that every time friends talk about their grown children, they have a new job. What is all this job hopping about? I decided to look into it.

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Job Hopping – #620

Millennials have a reputation for job hopping. Some say it’s because they don’t get an immediate fancy title or big promotion. The truth is, they usually move on when they have stopped growing or don’t feel appreciated.

Regardless of their responsibilities, everyone wants to feel that they count; that their work makes a difference. They want to feel significant.

The boss feels significant, looking out at the big picture. Most employees, however, do not have this overview. They only know the things they do daily, over and over.

Leaders who keep millennials thriving on the job help them connect the dots and see how their work contributes to the success of the organization. It must be presented in terms that employees can understand and appreciate.

People who don’t feel appreciated are often the first to burn out or jump ship. Successful leaders actively find ways to show others that their value is appreciated.

You see it happen on the TV show, “Under Cover Boss.” Posing as someone else, the boss goes on the line and hands-on discovers those who go above and beyond the call of duty.

Even if you can’t go undercover, you can pay more attention to find out what’s really going on in your business and who deserves credit.

Remember – show appreciation, show how and why each person is significant and reward those who go the extra mile.

P.S.

At home too, words kindness and recognition are appreciated. Be sure grandma knows how much her true home cooking is treasured. Thank the kids for setting the table or discarding their phone before they sit down for dinner. Compliments and happy thoughts are easy to come by – and they are free

[Show #620]

The Spirit of Christmas

Backstory

How do you convey the spirit of Christmas in your world? Are we doing a good job of projecting the essence of peace on earth, good will toward man? Is that hard to do, in a secular world where the presence of angels and miracles is challenged? Here’s what I see, when I look around.

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The Spirit of Christmas – #514

The spirit of Christmas is alive and well in the U.S.A. Look around you. People are giving to the causes that provide Christmas to kids whose stockings would otherwise be empty. From the Marines, to neighborhoods, to the local Rotary Club, coats, toys, books and food are going out with love. The Salvation Army bell is being heeded generously. It’s the time of year to remember others with visits and special considerations.

If your home is decorated in the colors of the Christmas season, invite someone over to enjoy it – someone whose own home may lack holiday sparkle. If you’ve baked those special cookies of yours, take some over to the neighbor who is housebound.

Send cards, make phone calls, send emails, and light up Facebook with Christmas cheer.

We’re all so busy. Yet this is the time of year when we make time for those we love and the friends we treasure. It’s when we’re especially polite to strangers. Don’t let the Christmas rush delete your Christmas spirit.

Remember, the true meaning of Christmas is sharing love and laughter and showing how much we care about each other. Keep the concept alive by what you say and do this season.

If the Christmas spirit is in your heart, it will show. Peace on earth, good will to men – and women too!

P.S.

You know what could happen? You could start to feel so good, carrying the Christmas spirit around with you, that you just might pour it over into 2019. Now wouldn’t THAT be a hoot?

[Show #514]

Gratitude

Backstory

Every Thanksgiving, I’m asked to give the prayer before the meal to be enjoyed by our extended family. I was making notes for this year, thinking of thanks for health, family, love. But actually, our gratitude deserves to reach out to many more basic precious gifts. This story is about them.

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Gratitude – #427

There’s been a lot of talk lately, it seems, about gratitude. There are gratitude journals and gratitude blogs and gratitude books – including a few to teach you how to be grateful. One item I read said that gratitude is your Magic Wand.

“Whatever you point gratitude at increases, expands and escalates.” But, the author warns, “You have to pick up that magic wand and use it.”

Being grateful applies, no matter who you are, no matter where life has taken you, no matter what your circumstances or your desires.

Wherever you are at this moment, is where you are meant to be. And there are things for which you can and should be grateful.

It may be the lessons you are learning, if things are tight financially. It may be the good health of your children or your parents. It may be your ability to put food on the table and take a shower when you need one and drink fresh water that won’t make you sick.

The only error would be to stop giving thanks – to the people who bring your joy or the deity who gives you contentment and peace.

Take time every day to write in your gratitude journal, even if it’s just a mental one. Think of all the things for which you are thankful and then go do something for someone else, for which they will be thankful.

P.S.

That last task – doing something for which someone else will be thankful – That’s really a fun thing. People don’t expect an act of charity or kindness. They may be startled. Enjoy their response – and encourage them to pay it forward.

[Show #427]