life lessons

Life

Backstory

In recognition of her fortieth birthday, my daughter wrote a list of the things she has done – significant and ordinary. They tracked a life well lived that produced a mature woman of strength and well-defined values. It got me thinking. So much learned and so much left to comprehend.

Life

I was thinking the other day about the things I’ve learned in life so far.

On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles four different things – a rainy day…the elderly…lost luggage, or tangled Christmas tree lights.
I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life.’
That children grow up much too fast, right before your eyes.
That it’s a lot better to do it right away than to put it off.
I discovered that life sometimes gives you a second chance, and sometimes a third and a fourth.
I believe you should not go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it can elude you. But if you focus on family, friends, and the needs of others, happiness will come looking for you.
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

P.S. Learning is essential to our existence. Today’s inclusive culture requires discovering new ways of relating to people, both those who have been staples in our lives and the new acquaintances evolving. What an exciting time to learn anew and expand our individual worlds.

[Show #366]

To Age Gracefully

Backstory

A ten-year-old recently touched my arm to be sure she had my attention. She then advised that she observed that I am “aging gracefully.” Bewildered, I wondered what her innocent eyes saw or felt that gave her that amusing but gratifying impression. She seemed so sincere, like she knew exactly what aging gracefully would look like.

You know what I think she saw? Joy! We had chatted for a while and shared joyful thoughts. I think she saw that at any age, having joy in your heart will move you along with grace.

Today’s story is about a more-than-mature woman who found her joy and wanted to pass it on.

To Age Gracefully

Rose was 87 years old and in her first year at college. When a classmate asked her why she was attending school, she responded with a twinkle in her eye that she wanted to meet boys, get married, and have babies. Then, she admitted that she always wanted a college degree but was always supporting someone else’s education or career. Now, it was her time.

Rose made so many friends and was so popular that at the end of the year, they asked her to give a speech at the football banquet. Here is the wisdom she shared:

“We do not stop playing because we are old. We grow old because we stopped playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. And as you choose a career, remember that we make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.

There is a huge difference between growing old and growing up. Growing old is mandatory. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. Growing up is optional. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity and change.

And for heaven’s sake, have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. And the only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

P.S. Rose did all the right things. She kept warm relationships and I’ll bet she avoided smoking and alcohol. With strong social support, she experienced less mental deterioration as she aged. But above all, she experienced joy – every single day.

[Show #536]

Haves and Have Nots

Backstory

In these months of constantly present hidden threat, optimism tends to wane, along with thankfulness. Reflecting on our state reminded me of an earlier time, when Americans were left without jobs and without income. This story is about that time for my family and what we learned.

Haves and Have Nots

“Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.” I first heard that mantra back in the 70’s. Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

At the time, we were living in our first house. It was a nice three-bedroom split level in a residential development. But somehow after a few years, the house seemed small. We needed more garage space, more bedrooms. I wanted bigger, better.

Then the recession hit. Security became very wobbly. The things I had assumed I deserved and would always be mine were being challenged. I might not have a job. My husband might not. Oh boy, how I wish I had those hundreds of dollars we spent on last year’s vacation.

Suddenly I looked around my beautiful, perfect, plentiful home and said, “Please God – Just let us keep up the payments. Let us keep this roof over the heads of our children.”

Well, we did survive. The whole country did. Things turned around and we did eventually move on. But I never forgot the lesson I learned then. It may help you too.

Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

P.S.

While sheltering in place during the pandemic, we have been thankful for thoughtful outreach, small and large. A team of walkers have a favorite route through our community. We sometimes glimpse them at wave distance. One day as they jogged through, they left candy and hand-written notes of blessing on porches. Gestures like that, especially from strangers, really make a difference. They remind us of the joy, friendship and kindness waiting on the other side.

[Show #108]

Be Aware

Backstory

My husband’s father was a very down-to-earth working man. While he might not correct your grammar or your manners, he did have certain demands of those he loved. He wanted you to be cautious. He felt that your life could depend on it.

Be Aware – #478

My father-in-law had a favorite lesson to impress on his kids and grandkids. Always be aware of your surroundings. He taught us to do that when walking from the building to a car. Be aware of who’s around, what cars are headed your way, what looks suspicious or what or who looks like they may need help.

He taught us to anticipate risks and eliminate them. A toddler in the kitchen could find himself in peril unless the room is made safe for a teetering little person.

Today we call it situational awareness. Police try to instill it in kids to keep them safe from predators. Older people use it to address obstacles that could cause a fall. On the job, situational awareness saves lives and limbs. A piece of equipment left in the way, a machine that Is not working right, an electric cord stretched across the walkway. They are all possible accident causes. They are so often overlooked and so easily relieved by anyone who is really paying attention.

Let’s all ratchet up our situational awareness. If it’s not right, let someone know or reach out and fix it. Consider it part of that business of, doing unto others as you want others to do unto you.

P.S.

Today, social media would surely top this dad’s cautions. New dangers keep popping up with the potential for dire consequences. Some protection can be purchased and some just require good common sense. As dad would have said, “Be aware!”

[Show #478]

Be Thankful

Backstory

This is a real-life story from fifty years ago. It was a seminal moment in how I looked at things from then on. See if you can relate to what happened.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Be Thankful – #191

“Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.” I first heard that mantra back in the 70’s. Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

At the time, we were living in our first house. It was a nice 3-bedroom split level in a residential development. But somehow, after a few years, the house seemed small. We needed more garage space, more bedrooms. I wanted bigger, better.

Then the recession hit. Security became very wobbly. The things I had assumed I deserved and would always be mine were being challenged. I might not have a job; my husband might not. Oh boy, how I wish I had those hundreds of dollars we spent on last year’s vacation.

Suddenly I looked around my beautiful, perfect, plentiful home and said, “Please God, just let us keep up the payments. Let us keep this roof over the heads of our children.”

Well, we did survive. The whole country did. Things turned around and we did eventually move on. But I never forgot the lesson I learned then. It may help you too.

Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

P.S.

In this time of pandemic lock-down, you might hear whining about the claustrophobic aspects of sheltering at home. Take another look. There are places where shelter is a tent or a ripple of tin. If yours is better than that, you know what to do.

[Show #634]

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

(Updated)

Backstory

This story has been a favorite with listeners since it first appeared in 2009. We repost it, once a year. It seems to resonate with people’s personal experiences. Prepare to bring back memories.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

A Reason, a Season, a Lifetime #456

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed or just felt. They have come to assist you through a hard time, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. Then, suddenly, the person disappears from your life. Your need has been met; their work is done.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share or grow or give back. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They give you great joy. Believe it; it is real. But only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons—things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all your other relationships.

Think about the people in your life over the years. Whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your life.

And when they are gone, be thankful for the gifts you received from them when they were here—for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

P.S.

Did anyone come to mind, as you read this story? Were you satisfied when the time with them was up? Would you change anything about your time together? Perhaps it’s worth some thought.

[Show #456]