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Backstory – Honest Children
I was wrestling with versions of the truth as reported on the news. Which truth does one believe? I feel for children growing up in this chaotic time. How do we teach them to tell the truth and stand by the truth in an age where truth is as steady as Jello thrown against the wall? What a daunting task.
Consider This Show – Honest Children
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Raising Honest Children – #426
Raising honest children today, I believe, is really difficult. There are times I think there is no more truth. Everything has a spin on it that benefits one group or another.
Telling the truth can get you into trouble. It can make your friends mad at you. It seems people want you to say what they want to hear, rather than what is honestly the truth.
If we are to teach our children to tell the truth, we have to create room for candor – for an authentic voice. We have to allow children to speak their mind, even if their thoughts or values differ from ours.
But when the value they are moving toward is not the truth, we need to show them how to grasp the truth and face it.
What happens when a child is caught in a lie? I believe we have to hold them responsible. We need to set firm, fair consequences and limits.
The child who lies must suffer the consequences.
Discuss honesty in words the child can understand. Stories of rewards for telling the truth are effective.
The best lesson is MODELING honesty. Be willing to admit your own mistakes with the truth. Beware of hypocrisy – Don’t preach one thing and do another. Avoid calling the child a liar. Teach rather than scold. It works better . . . and that’s the truth!
[Show #426]
Thank you Annette….so true!!💓💓
Excellent points, Annette. I would add another thing that’s important to link to truth-telling: civility. In this time of polarization, we seem to have lost the ability to disagree without being disagreeable. When the mindset of “If you not with me, you’re against me” prevails, it sets up a false choice and there is no room for civil discourse. Dr. Brené Brown speaks of this powerfully in her new book BRAVING THE WILDERNESS.
Sounds like a book well worth reading. Thanks for your comments, Elizabeth.
Really good. When are kids were children, lying drew the heaviest consequence. I hope they still have that as a core value; that being: truth is worth telling and standing on and not muddying up with self-serving. Great reminder. Passing this on to our kids. Thanks, Annette.
You are very welcome, Deb. Here is another story with which you may resonate. This story had more response than any ever featured. https://considerthisradioshow.com/?s=gifts
Hey, Deb. Core values usually stick. What really fills your heart is seeing your children teach them to their children. If you happen to witness a grandchild using one of the core values to make a decision, that’s a Seminole moment.