My guy and I were just reminiscing about childhood. We were sharing incidents we still remember, half a century later. Why do certain things stick out so?
He recalled a 7th grade teacher who showed him how to study and the benefits of learning. OK. That was a game changer.
But we also each recalled tiny incidents that should have been long forgotten, but were not.
My mom was rushed to finish a frock she was sewing for me. I was 8 years old. She put the dress on me to sew the final stitches, decided she didn’t have time and said she was going to hold the last stitch together with a safety pin. In her hurry, she stuck the pin right into me. It hurt – but not THAT much. Why do I still remember that silly incident?
I’ve mentioned before – the green imitation leather shoulder bag given to me by my aunt. It was an absolute treasure because it was woman size, when I had to grow quite a bit to get to that stage. I identified her as the first person in the world who realized that I was growing up and no longer a kid – even if the shoulder bag did hang down to my knees when I wore it.
Realize that YOU are making impressions like that on the young people in your life. You are saying things, and sharing experiences that people will remember a half century later. Yes, what you say matters. Be sure that what they remember is something good – or at least something funny.
[Show #497]
Thanks to my children’s father for his comment on how words can make you feel, and to Elizabeth for emphasizing the point. A friend introduced us to the concept of paying forward – picking up the lunch check for strangers, just because it’s a nice thing to do. I like to do the same thing with words. Stop and tell an elderly woman how flattering that color is on her. Congratulate the polite behavior of children. Comment to them on the selflessness of young people who have volunteered for a cause. These wonderful things called words have been put into our hands for a purpose. Let’s put them all to work, for the better good.
This is so important, and I agree with the comment above about HOW we say things.
But just so readers don’t get too hung up worrying about whether they’re saying the right or wrong thing, I love Maya Angelou’s famous quote: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Indeed, even in the examples you gave above, Annette, it was how you felt that stuck with you.
Perhaps you should also consider a show on “what you say and HOW you say it matters. The simplest statement can
cause a lot of friction with the wrong inflections.
That’s an excellent idea! They’re both important! Thanks so much for your comment.