Advice and Encouragement

Giving and Getting Help

Backstory

There was a time when I was overwhelmed with responsibility. The stress was showing – and fellow Rotarians stepped in and provided help that made a difference and kept me sane. It taught me several things. I’d like to share them with you today.

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Giving and Getting Help – #263

There are times in life when we are called on to do things that are difficult. They seem to come in threes, these times of challenge. And when they occur, they seem to define us wholly.

Instead of being a multi-faceted human being, we start to think that we are nothing more than the care giver, the mother figure, the easily disposable employee.

So many people are struggling today. It is very possible that you may be called on to give help, jump in, provide a safety net or a soft place to land. It’s also possible that you become the one who needs help.

When suddenly called on to take a difficult new role, it’s important to keep your perspective. You are the same person as before the challenge occurred. You may feel overwhelmed at the beginning. But you can figure things out. You always have.

It’s said that God never calls on us to do more than we can. Pray for strength if that’s where you get spiritual courage.

Be willing to ask for help yourself if it gets to be too much. Look around and you may find willing, loving helpers in places you would not imagine. Speak out and let the help come forward.

You CAN make it through these times. Easy? No. Doable? Yes.

God bless you.

P.S.

A friend told a story about noticing that the lady at the muffin stand, where she stopped each morning for years, did not look or sound good that day. She took time off from work to get the vendor to a doctor – and saved her life. Who knew that a customer would go to those lengths of caring? Selfless help is all around but people must KNOW there is a need. Be willing to step up when you feel that things are not right. Be willing to ask for help when you need it. Test human kindness. You may be delighted with what you discover.

[Show #263]

Dress Code

Backstory

Downton Abbey, the PBS series, took us back to the time when people of gentry dressed for each meal. Yep, three times a day, a new outfit. How does that compare with today’s dress code?

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Dress Code – #360

We went to a party the other night. About a hundred people, wearing anything you could imagine – jeans and tee shirt, scanty minis, business casual, suits and ties, cocktail gowns. It was proof again that the dress codes of the past are as out-of-date as bloomers and white powdered wigs.

Is that for the better? Is it supposed to eliminate class distinction?

It used to be nice to see women in dresses and make up and jewelry

In a good restaurant. The tuxedo, indicating a REALLY special occasion, made a guy look really elegant, especially when he knew how to tie the bow tie by himself. It showed respect to wear Sunday clothes to church.

Then there was the elegance of evening wear for a concert or nightclub or a casino.

These days, unless you are going to a prom, there is no need for dress-up clothes at all. Anything goes. You’re cleaning the house and your husband suggests going out to dinner. You grab your purse and go!

And everyone else at the restaurant looks as casual as you do.

Jeans to church. Sneakers in the office. Are there places where business dress and evening dress still hold court? Maybe in the cities?

24/7 casual is certainly easier. But I think I miss dress-up once in a while. How about you?

P.S.

A business operation seems to be a place where a dress code could matter. I might trust the bank officer in a suit and heels better than one in torn jeans and flip-flops.

[Show #360]

Hodgepodge of Stamps

(Edited 3-10-19)

Backstory

Learn something new every day. It’s advice I try to follow. Sometimes it leads to unexpected or colorful new knowledge. That’s what happened here. A discovery led me to explore something I would normally take for granted. My curious nature always “wants to know the story.” This time it led me to stamps.

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Hodgepodge of Stamps – #192

When an elderly relative passed on, I was helping sort through her belongings. Someone gave me a box of stamps to inventory.

There was a treasure of stamps worth 15 cents and 23 cents and 10 cents . . . a nickel . . . even 1 cent. There were dozens of different designs and colors, each a miniature masterpiece of graphic art.

Some stamps had no denomination on them. The United States Post Office website has a place that shows how to determine their value.

That led me to the new FOREVER stamps. You purchase them at the going rate and they retain their value, even if mail rates go up in the future.

I also found that you can have customized stamps created, bearing your own image or message. How cool is that?

I asked who from the family wanted the box of lick-able old stamps. After all, they have a monetary value. But no one wanted to play with small denomination stamps that were not self-sticking. They invited me to keep them.

Well friends and relatives have been fascinated receiving my correspondence and cards with as many as ten different stamps on the envelope. I let them decide for themselves why the conglomeration. It sure has become a conversation piece.

P.S.

The U.S. Postal Service will release new stamps this year in honor of military working dogs. Four designs feature a German shepherd, Labrador retriever, Belgian Malinois and Dutch shepherd. The illustrations are in red, white, blue and gold to represent the American flag and patriotism. Also later this year, watch for stamps featuring a painting of tennis champion Maureen Connolly Brinker, designs from artist Ellsworth Kelly and engines from the Transcontinental Railroad,

[Show #192]

Cabin Fever

(Edited 3-3-19)

Backstory

Today’s story could refer to January of this year and the Polar Vortex. The Northeast became a dangerous frozen tundra. Morbid cold demanded staying indoors, often for days. Particularly challenging if the kids were cooped up too.

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Cabin Fever – #534

Remember back to the really harsh winter? If you were anywhere in the Northeast, you had snow, snow and more snow, And extended cold like you had not experienced in decades. First it was pretty, then dangerous, then annoying, then downright nasty.

It was hard to get anywhere. You did best to stay indoors and not cause problems for yourself and others by being out on the roads.

Schools were closed, offices were locked up, retailers were shuttered, grocery stores were out of milk, bread, beer and TP.

And the big result, at one time or another, was CABIN FEVER! Think back to how you dealt with it, and let me know. We’ll do a show about beating cabin fever, so you’ll have the tools, when the next nasty winter rolls along.

One option for a lucky few was to jump on a plane and fly to a warm spot.

Folks with a winter home in Florida got plenty of company during that winter, and were no doubt delighted to provide a temporary escape for friends and family from up north.

But most people had to tough it out, right there at home, shoveling driveways, contending with slow-downs and fighting cabin fever.

So remember, share how YOU addressed cabin fever that winter. How did you keep spirits up and bodies entertained. And listen in for a report before the blustery beast hits again this year.

P.S.

Friends and relatives in New Jersey had experiences that probably helped them avoid cabin fever last January. They made it through weeks without power in the storm known as Sandy. That was in October 2012.

[Show #534]

Snow Birds

Backstory

It takes a lot of planning and logistics to leave your primary residence for two or three months and live elsewhere – even if the elsewhere offers warm breezes and sunlit skies. It was a big decision to make and here’s the dilemma that we faced.

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Snow Birds – #187

This year, we wintered in Florida. We left our permanent residence behind and rented someone else’s home for the two coldest months of the year. The sun shown daily and the dress of the day was shirtsleeves. It was wonderful.

I’m still trying to come to terms with becoming part of the great exodus southward. They call us snow birds.

Actually, it’s the natural things to do, just as the birds do. It makes sense to remove your body from the environment where it will shiver and ache as the cold wind blows.

And yet I felt that I had abandoned my place in life by taking the easy way out. Perhaps I would have been made stronger or smarter or more resilient if I stayed in my snow-swept home.

Would Valentine’s Day have been more romantic up here? Would the St. Patrick’s Day beer have been greener?

To my neighbors and friend back here, I apologize for not donning my boots and wool-lined gloves, For never scrapping ice from my windshield.

For not being able to join in the myriad of complaints about the road conditions and the salting crews and the electrical lines down.

But you know what? Next year . . . I’m heading south again!

P.S.

We’ve wintered in St Augustine, Tampa and The Villages. Looks like we’ll experience Sarasota next. What is your favorite Florida winter get away site?

[Show #187]

I Was In Her Prayer Book

(Updated)

Back Story –

I sat there in the car, outside the hospice. This could have been the last time I would ever see her. And indeed, it was. Yet something she told me has stuck with me for lo the many years that have passed, since that visit.

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I was In Her Prayer Book – #419

I was in her Prayer book. What a surprise that was. I had gone to visit someone I used to work with. We had lost touch and I found out she was very ill, so I went to see her. That’s when I found out that all those years, I had been in her prayer book. I had benefited from the entreaties she made to God asking Him to protect and guide me. What a revelation that was!

Then a friend told me just recently, “On 9/11, when there was such chaos from the terrorist attacks, I checked on my daughter and then I checked on you.” Again I was moved. Such an important role to play in someone’s life without even being aware of it.

And so it is in YOUR life. There are people you have helped, or influenced or just spoken to, over time, who remember you; relate to what you said, have been moved by you and what you stand for. They recall their time with you. There are portions of their behavior or their way of thinking or smiling that you helped to form.

What an important role we play with each other. It’s why we have to make every word count. Make every word bring something positive to someone else. You never know what effect you may have on someone. Be sure it’s always something for the better.

P.S.

Was there ever a time when the opposite happened? Someone was hurt or wounded or demeaned by something you said? Best to fix it – sooner rather than later.

Show #419

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