Inspiration

Haves and Have Nots

Backstory

In these months of constantly present hidden threat, optimism tends to wane, along with thankfulness. Reflecting on our state reminded me of an earlier time, when Americans were left without jobs and without income. This story is about that time for my family and what we learned.

Haves and Have Nots

“Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.” I first heard that mantra back in the 70’s. Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

At the time, we were living in our first house. It was a nice three-bedroom split level in a residential development. But somehow after a few years, the house seemed small. We needed more garage space, more bedrooms. I wanted bigger, better.

Then the recession hit. Security became very wobbly. The things I had assumed I deserved and would always be mine were being challenged. I might not have a job. My husband might not. Oh boy, how I wish I had those hundreds of dollars we spent on last year’s vacation.

Suddenly I looked around my beautiful, perfect, plentiful home and said, “Please God – Just let us keep up the payments. Let us keep this roof over the heads of our children.”

Well, we did survive. The whole country did. Things turned around and we did eventually move on. But I never forgot the lesson I learned then. It may help you too.

Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

P.S.

While sheltering in place during the pandemic, we have been thankful for thoughtful outreach, small and large. A team of walkers have a favorite route through our community. We sometimes glimpse them at wave distance. One day as they jogged through, they left candy and hand-written notes of blessing on porches. Gestures like that, especially from strangers, really make a difference. They remind us of the joy, friendship and kindness waiting on the other side.

[Show #108]

Acknowledge Inspiration

Backstory

The day started off badly. The weather was awful. People arrived at the lecture site cold and wet and cranky. No one expected the result to be the inspiration that was created.

Acknowledge Inspiration

Recently I mentioned talking with folks at Bayse Library on Bridges to Life Planning. The session was very participative and toward the very end one woman had a confession to make.

She told us she almost hadn’t come out that morning. It was a dank and dreary day; like her life at that point, she told us. She was having a hard time. She said, “I really think it was divine inspiration that brought me here today. After hearing what you all had to say, I know I can make it.” We all saw her countenance change right before us.

That lady was indeed determined to make a go of it, and it was like she got the incentive from the energy in that room. Wow, what a gift she gave to us all! To let us know that our thoughts and ideas made an impact that one person’s life might now be better because we had gathered to share.

She gave us another lesson too. When someone inspires you, let them know. Say out loud what you’re feeling in your heart. There can be no greater gift than the compliment that is spoken not just thought.

Bless the giver and the receiver both, as that woman did on a rainy Saturday morning in Bayse, Virginia.

P.S.

As a young wife and mother, I was frequently inspired by Millie. She was the epitome of a gracious hostess, understanding mother, dedicated wife and loyal friend. I wanted to be just like her.

Half a century later, Millie receives frequent notes from me. She has forgotten who I am, but my notes are always full of my admiration and appreciation. Her daughter said Millie’s eyes light up when she hears from “that nice lady out there” who thinks she is pretty special.

[Show #15]

My Sister

Backstory

When I began speaking in public, a mentor advised, “They may not remember who you were or what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.” That’s what my sister Karyn leaves behind. (Be sure to read the P.S. to this story.)

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My Sister – #503

My sister and I were having a discussion about what we wanted to leave for posterity; what we wanted people to remember about us when we’re gone. My sister is a very spiritual person; learned in religions of the world, yoga student, teacher of meditation and other skills for achieving tranquility and ease of well-being. I can imagine that she leaves many people with the tools to find serenity.

My sister has found that inner place for herself. Her daily ritual of meditation is often held in conference with nature. When she’s at the ocean, she ventures out in the darkness before sunrise, finds a comfortable place within eyesight of the ocean and lets the calming waves bring her into the new day. What joy she must achieve, for herself only, for this is a time of inner focus.

And the rest of her day is spent outward bound in the creativity of a writer, a genealogist, a grandmother, a gifted crafter and a would-be businesswoman whose strategic plan usually reverts back to meditation rather than achievement.

She is a full circle success, my sister. And her legacy will be the joy known by anyone who has made her acquaintance. You would remember her red hair, her welcoming smile, and that you felt instantly at ease in her presence.

Some of us leave monuments for posterity, others leave the gift of just having known them.

P.S.

You’ll find my sister, Karyn Romani, these days at The Positivity Tree. She has joined her daughter Ella Miller to become a cultivator of positivity rooted in optimism. The Positivity Tree is about being curious, empathetic, self-aware, balanced, less stressed and more appreciative in life. Together, they explore how to bring more optimism to work, home, family, relationships and life. It’s a beautiful place. https://www.thepositivitytree.com

[Show #503]

Choose Not to Worry

Backstory

Mom set the tone for my theory about worrying. Each time I had a teenage bout of mourning, she would make detailed notes of my sorrow. A month or so later, she would drag out her notes so we could check what benefit was derived from all the hours of teenage angst. Confronting the evidence of the time wasted on worry was grounds for a cure.

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Choose Not to Worry – #113

Why is it that some people seem laden down with worry and others just smile right through the potential calamity? If you read the newspaper or watch television these days, you can be overcome by news of what has already gone wrong, what’s at risk of going wrong, or what has the potential to bring us harm and doom.

Meanwhile, if you look around you, chances are that very few of those cataclysmic potentials have already affected you. Your home has not been foreclosed. You have not lost your job. Your teenagers actually love you and hold their own.

So how do we balance reasonable adult concern with worrying ourselves to pieces? Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” Figure out how you would deal with that happening and then move back into the world of here and now.

Don’t fuss about trifles; keep yourself busy, go smell the roses. And if your yard has dandelions instead of roses, go out and pick some. Gather a bouquet and consider them Mother Nature’s gift to you for not worrying today.

P.S.

In her blog, Positivity Tree, Ella Miller posts messages of inspiration, calm and contentment. Visit her at https://www.facebook.com/ThePositivityTree

[Show #113]

In a Taxi

Backstory

This is not how I would have presented the concept of patience and love. All the more reason why it resonated so clearly.

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In a Taxi – #184

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. Well, my taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches. The driver of that car whipped his head around and started yelling.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy, and I mean he was really friendly. So, I asked, “Why did you just do that? That guy almost ruined your taxi and sent us to the hospital.”

Well, the cab driver explained he was following the “Law of the Garbage Truck.” He said that many people are like human garbage trucks. Their internal garbage is frustration, anger, disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it, and sometimes they dump it on you.

His advice – Don’t take it personally. Smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don’t let their garbage become the garbage that you internalize or spread.

Happy people do not let someone else’s garbage take over their day. Love the people who treat you right and pray for those who don’t.

Something to consider!

P.S.

Mouths of babes are not the only place where wisdom can be found. Listen closely and you’ll hear lessons and love, even from a rear view mirror.

[Show #184]

The Small Stuff

Backstory

When I looked around, while in lockdown, I started re-imagining my future in simpler terms. Here are some of the views that evolved.

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The Small Stuff – #632

There comes a point in your life when you decide to enjoy the birds and the trees in your view,

rather than worrying about whether the grass is cut.

In the words of Richard Carlson, “Don’t sweat the small stuff . . . and it’s all small stuff.”

Life is too short and too valuable to spend it on small stuff. Decide who matters and who never did, who won’t matter anymore, and who always will. Keep close to you, those who bring you joy and laughter. Separate out those who bring darkness into your life. Decide who you want to help and learn how to say no with a smile and a hug.

THAT may be the hardest of all. But it’s your RIGHT to make those decisions. It’s your life. Don’t worry about people from your past, who should not be allowed in your future. Leave room in your heart for new friends and connections yet to come. Treasure those who are with you now and show your appreciation.

Repay kindness . . . do favors . . . give of your talents. Take the time to create memories that matter for you and those you love. Creating new memories takes time. Take the time. Of all the gifts we can give, memories of happenings you’ve created may just be the most precious of all.

P.S.

Some of the happiest retired folks I know are those who are now taking the time for friends, neighbors and relatives. It is these relationships that give them the most joy these days even though the connection may have to be electronic.

[Show #632]