Advice and Encouragement

Bridges In Life Planning

Backstory

When I wrote the Christmas story book last year, several book signings were sponsored. It was such fun to meet neighbors and radio fans and friends who came out to support my journalistic endeavor. I also got to speak to groups like the Rotary Club about the book and how it came about. It reminded me of a talk given previously about bridges in life planning. Here’s that story.

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Bridges In Life Planning- #09

I had the privilege of talking with folks up at the Basye Library. As part of their lecture series, we were talking about Bridges in Life Planning – all the decisions that need to be made, when we get to be 60 or 65 or 70. We talked about keeping control of your life, for as long as possible; appreciating the input of others but valuing your own alternatives as well.

There were many opinions about just how much say adult children should have, once parents are up in years. There seemed to be general agreement that older folks have the right to decide how they want to spend their retirement income – as conservatively or as flamboyantly as they wish.

We discussed leaving a legacy of love and integrity and values and how that can be much more important than a trust fund.

We talked about the kinds of people you want to be with and those you don’t want in your life, in later years, and making those decisions for yourself.

It was a spirited discussion. We all learned something about ourselves and each other.

Perhaps the best suggestion came from one man who pointed out, more than anything else, be sure you are still having fun! Never stop having fun.

P.S.

Independence and control. Americans like us are brought up on those principles. We expect to keep them, even as we age. The bridge to a place where we have less independence and control is therefore a hard one to traverse. If you are the adult child, understand your parents’ wishes. If you are the parents, understand that giving over control to someone you love is the easiest way to cross the bridge. Trust, love and understanding. They are each badly needed at this time.

[Show #09]

Shedding Her Skin

(Updated January 13, 2019)

Backstory

In simpler days, people pretty much stayed who they were and where they were. If you were a farmer, you stayed on a farm. An attorney remained in the law. A nurse kept caring for patients. Today, the marvel of available education allows us to decide who and where to be, at any time during our life. You can reinvent yourself over and over during a long lifetime. Watching a friend do that, is what led to this story.

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Shedding Her Skin – #03

She was moving out of the home she had lived in for decades; feeling like a snake shedding its skin.

She hated leaving the well read books, but knew she had extracted from the musty bindings, all their wisdom and wizardry.

Parting with the clothes was hard. From bargains never worn, still bearing tags, to favorites now worn to a thread. And the photos; surely precious heirlooms, every one.

She packed boxes of souvenirs and somehow started to feel free. A burden lifted. A life simplified. Nothing important given up, just stuff now getting in the way.

As she lightened her load, she planned her future. What a surprise! The snake that shed its skin had morphed into a golden eagle, just beginning to spread her wings.

P.S.

We are so blessed to live to the current age. So many people in their fifties are switching careers or taking on entirely new tasks. Those of us in the sixties or seventies are reinventing ourselves at will, backed by the health, education and stamina to do so. My friend, the golden eagle, made her mark on the world after rediscovering her talents and abilities and gaining the courage to proclaim them. Have you done something similar?

[Show #03]

The Sunshine Poem

Backstory

Some of the stories you hear on Consider This are written by someone else. Mason Jars by Amy was featured recently and had a tremendous response from listeners and readers. This week, we feature another piece by a listener. I wonder if Suzanne will remember this poem, written decades ago. Listen in.

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The Sunshine Poem- #455

Suzanne sent in a little poem that she wrote on May 10, 1991. For whom was it written? See what you think. It goes like this –

Grant me a little bit of sunshine,
Promise me a little bit of hope.
Have faith in me,
Even though you might feel that I’m wrong.
For if you stand behind me,
I know I can be strong.
And if you stand beside me,
I know I can succeed.

A beautiful intercession showing someone how important they are to the writer. A cry for understanding and acceptance. The words seem to echo what we all desire from someone we care for.

Listen again and let the words sink in.

I don’t know for whom the poem was written. But I can tell the person must be special to be called on to play such an important role In the life of the writer.

It was written more than 20 years ago. I hope Suzanne went on to write out more such thoughts. They are well worth considering

P.S.

Musing on Suzanne’s poem, I hope that the person she addressed did indeed stand behind her and beside her. It sounds like that person gave her strength and confidence. What a blessing to have someone like that in your life. I hope Suzanne was so blessed.

[Show #455]

You Can’t Recover

Backstory

I longed for a do-over. If only I could be given one more chance to make it right, I would do things so differently. But that privilege was denied. I was stuck with the action I had taken. No do-over. Never. It made me think of the times when you just don’t get a second chance. This week’s story is about those times.

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You Can’t Recover- #454

There are five things that you cannot recover in life:
          1. The Stone…after it’s thrown,
          2. The Word…after it’s said,
          3. The Occasion…after it’s missed,
          4. Time…after it’s gone,
          5. Loved ones …after they die

Yet we are so quick and willing to waste each of these precious commodities. It’s like we think they’ll always be there. And they won’t.

When something goes wrong, the stone of blame is thrown so quickly, often before the facts are known.

And the word – oh, the angry word that can’t come back after it’s said. Pray for the wisdom to take a breath when you are angry. Measure your words before they are said. The wrong words can live a lifetime with the one who hears them.

Then there are the occasions. If the occasion is special to someone you love, it should be special to you. Be there. It matters.

And when you decide how to spend your time, remember that no graveyard headstone ever said, “I wish I spent more time in the office.”

Spend it with those you love – particularly the young, and the old. Share stories. Create memories. Give generously of your time to those you love. They are not here forever – and neither are you.

P.S.

Second best is making up for one of the items you cannot recover. Sometimes you get the chance to admit your error, apologize and try to move on. Such a very poor alternative. Spend your time making sure you don’t commit these sins, rather than making up for them.

[Show #454]

Incorrect

Backstory

I had just concluded another shouting match with my computer, one sided though it was, over whether my password was correct. Surely my steel-trap mind was more accurate than this arrogant pile of desktop technology.

Well, I guess not. So I forgot that dot in the middle, or the exclamation point looked like a capital I. Surely there could be a little forgiveness.

Not in my digital world – or yours. Out of this frustration came today’s story of abject disillusion with the complexities of our modern world.

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Incorrect- #453

It was a cartoon that circulated on the Internet. One elderly lady is saying to the other, “Mildred, my memory sucks these days. So when I’m on the internet and it asks me to choose a password, I choose the word – INCORRECT. Then when I can’t remember my password, the computer will tell me, ‘Your password is INCORRECT.’ “

Well, I’m not too sure that will work. But it sure is a challenge to remember all those user names and passwords. I would use the same one so I could remember them all, But of course the gurus are horrified at that concept for security reasons.

Even if I wanted to, it seems that each website has a different set of rules. So many letters, so many numbers.

I have a list of passwords an arm long – but of course I dare not tell you where I keep it. That’s such a good secret that I sometimes I forget its location myself.

And how about those codes you have to type in to prove you are a human. Most of the time, I can’t make them out, let alone type them in.

Remember back when you communicated by dialing numbers on a phone? Today, they give classes – beginner and advanced – to teach you how to use your smart phone. How smart can it be if I need hours of instructions just to figure it out?

Will things EVER be simple again?

P.S.

I wonder if Mildred’s friend ever got to use “INCORRECT” as her password. Going on to another of our digital world’s miracles, I saw a reminder of how we defriended fellow classmates when we were in high school. You scratched their face out of your class yearbook. That was back when things were – SIMPLE.

[Show #453]

Teen role model

Backstory

I was so impressed when I met this young lady. She had started a program for teens to mentor younger children and she was at the Rotary Club meeting to tell us about it. So poised, so self confident. We stayed and talked, after the meeting. I decided to introduce her to you.

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Teen Role Model – #638

A high school senior was telling me recently about the responsibilities she feels being a role model in school. This young lady is her class president. She is an officer in Future Farmers of America, a leader in 4H.

She said that as she built up these credentials, her mother warned her, “There is always someone watching.” She said that thought guides her with the realization that she is a role model.

Fellow students see her lead and achieve. They would also see if she did wrong.

When she is tempted to gossip or experiment wrongly, she considers how she would feel if someone was watching and was led to do likewise, following her bad example. She accepts responsibility for the image she projects.

Obviously she was brought up in a home where the right values were stressed.

And she is determined to uphold those values, not just in public, but in private.

In this age of bullying and blame, it is truly refreshing to hear this young lady standing straight.

Hats off to the millions of young adults who stay the course and do the right thing.

You don’t hear about them often enough. They are out there, doing good and being kind. As they become leaders, our future is in good hands.

P.S.

The young lady received a Rotary Club scholarship. It was just one of many acknowledgements and awards she accumulated before leaving high school. We’ll be watching her college adventures for more leadership. She is prone to help make the world a better place.

[Show #638]

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