Advice and Encouragement

What Are You Waiting For?

Backstory

It didn’t happen just like that. There was a lot leading up to it. Joan had been in the presence of my fiancé and me for years – on vacations, on outings and at home. She was a careful observer. Now, it turns out, she was about to become a tentative adviser as well.

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What Are You Waiting For? – #639

What are you waiting for? That’s what Joan asked me. She had sat me down and said we had to have a serious talk. Bill and I had been engaged for some eight years. When I accepted his engagement ring, we both considered ourselves committed, one to the other. And that was that.

But Joan, who had been married for decades, pointed out that there is a difference.

She pointed out that my fiancé had never been married. She believed he would thrive in the status of being husband to a wife he loved. She wisely pointed out that we were not getting any younger. But I just saw no need for a big event and a lot of hoopla and spending money and bothering people to come together to celebrate. At our age, it seemed anti-climactic.

That’s when she took my hand and gave me her best advice. She said, “You are talking about the wedding. I am talking about being married. It’s two very different things.”

She pointed out that every day that passed was a day that we were not enjoying the definitive commitment, the ultimate allegiance. She said we owed it to each other to experience that. She strongly advised that I allow Bill to put the other ring on it.

I took to heart, everything she said. And decided she was right.

P.S.

Joan had said that seeing Bill happily married was on her bucket list – something she wanted to see happen before her time was up. She had known him for some 30 years. Long before I was on the scene. She was so pleased to check that off her bucket list. Another item on the list was a trip to Tuscany. She marked that one off too. She died in her sleep, the day after her return.

[Show #639]

Age of Maturity

Backstory

What is life all about? Writing the Consider This shows, I think about that. I watch out for what others are saying; sometimes the sages, sometimes wise old folks, sometimes innocent youngsters. One of my favorite musers of life is poet and memoirist Maya Angelou. You will find her quoted in this week’s story.

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Age of Maturity – #635

I’ve been trying to figure out if I have reached the age of maturity. What is that age? I believe it to be the point at which one is still young enough to perform, but is much more resourceful.

In the eyes of youth, there glows a flame. In the eyes of maturity, there shines a light. It’s a status earned by the baby boomers. Seems to apply to folks in their sixties and seventies who still have the vigor, if not the stamina. We are more accepting, less relentless. You might say we go from passion to compassion.

When you’re past 60, there are fewer things that we think are absurd. We’ve seen it all – or so we think – until the next mind-blowing occurrence reminds us that we are still in the game.

One thing we have learned for sure – nothing passes by as quickly as the years.

Things change as time passes.

Young people travel in groups; adults travel in pairs; old people walk alone.

The point of it all is to LIVE those years, not just accumulate them.

I like the way Maya Angelou put it. She said, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

P.S.

Maya Angelou was quoted in this week’s story. Here is another of her quotes that obviously comes from a state of delightful maturity. She said, I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Amen.

[Show #635]

Teacher Krista

Backstory

We were all enthralled when Krista shared her adventures as a new teacher. Her biggest memory of her young students – They always had sticky hands! Besides the jokes and cute stories, a very distinct edge could be seen. Here was a young woman who was going to make a difference in the lives of the students she taught. May I share with you, the story of who inspired her.

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Teacher Krista – #653

Today our story is about a young teacher, on the last day of her first teaching assignment. I sincerely hope that her words bring back memories for you, of a beloved teacher somewhere in your past.

Krista wrote – “Today felt a lot like the last day of seventh grade. Only this time, I got to be on the teacher end.

“In seventh grade, my teacher, Mr. Heitmann, created a classroom community that I never wanted to leave. I always hoped that one day I would be able to do that for my students.

Today, between their tears and mine,I realized that I do have the ability to create that classroom community. It’s within my power to do so.”

Krista went on to describe her emotional exit and the goodbyes and selfies; the promises to be good, to be smart, to be special. You could just see the little children gathered about, reaching out for a last touch or hug or whisper, promising to remember always.

Krista concluded her story by sharing, “I left my students with a quote of Mr. Heitmann. It’s what he said to my seventh grade class, some ten years ago –

‘Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.’ “

Thank goodness the world has teachers like Mr. Heitmann, and now, Miz Krista.

P.S.

Krista will leave soon to teach in another land across the sea. How fortunate are the students who will be touched by her and inspired by her words and her example. The world needs all the Kristas it can get.

[Show #653]

Sharing Something of Value

Backstory

Someone shared the Chinese proverb with me. I have always found wisdom in words from the orient. Is it because they are exotic? Or simply bubbling with insight? In any case, I started thinking about what kinds of things have value to others, to me. This story came from those musings.

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Sharing Something of Value – #450

The Chinese have a saying – “When someone shares with you something of value, you have an obligation to share it with others.” You could apply that to many things – knowledge, money, gratitude, even smiles.

Imagine considering it an obligation to smile at someone else, every time someone smiles at you. The question is whether a smile is something of value. What do you think?

I remember hearing that a smile is an instant face lift. And indeed, a smiling face is so much more attractive than one with a frown drawn on it.

Watch attractive elderly women. They know the secret of the face-lifting smile. You will rarely see them without a smile on their lips. And you can’t help thinking how lovely they are.

What else do you receive of value that should be shared?

We Americans are generous with sharing our wealth; from donations to the Red Cross and Salvation Army, to funding of Wounded Warrior to individual help provided anonymously when we hear there is a need. To those who receive much, much is expected.

We seem to have learned the Chinese lesson well, although it never hurts to be reminded.

P.S.

Different times form different values. Living through the depression as a young adult, my grandmother found value in making things last. Even when times changed for the better, she continued to save string in a ball. Her notes were written on the backs of used envelopes. Drippings from this morning’s bacon fried green tomatoes for dinner. Sure is different from today’s use-and-discard approach.

[Show #450]

Change

Backstory

It seemed to be taking place all around me. Kids moving back with their parents . . . mother carried off to a nursing home . . . a widow heading west . . . a bachelor heading east. . . a classmate moving to Ireland. . . someone asking about moving in here. Lives used to be all neat and tidy – and suddenly everything is changing. It motivated me to write this story.

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Change – #345

We have several friends who have had to change their living location in the last year. It’s been such an experience, to see how they acclimated to their new environment.

One elderly gentleman decided his home on the mountain was just too much responsibility. He listed out the tasks that needed to be done to live in his house. He decided that most of them, he no longer enjoyed doing.

He carefully reviewed assisted living facilities, went to visit several, decided on one and moved in. He now lives in the nursing home portion, quiet and content. He can do for himself all that his efficient new setting requires.

He still enjoys all the daily activities he liked, such as dining with friends, reading the newspaper, playing cards and watching sports. He says he brought the best of his world with him and left behind the things he had outgrown.

Another friend retired and moved across the country to be near her only daughter. But daughter has a career and a life and little time to spend with mom. My friend wound up moving back and even getting her old job back. Retirement did not suit her nearly as much as a busy workday.

She prospered in a setting where she had respect and appreciation.

I’ve learned from these friends – not to be afraid to change things…

And not to be afraid to go back, if it doesn’t work out.

P.S.

I started analyzing all the options open for when it’s my turn to change. Guess what? Can’t do it. Somehow I have not found the crystal ball that tells me what will be needed by me or my loved ones or those around me. I can’t begin to guess what it will cost and whether there will be bingo or pot parties or midnight skinny dipping. So, just like the rest of us, I will wait and try to make good decisions while the universe determines my future. I just hope it does it with panache.

[Show #345]

Entertainment Talent

Backstory – Entertainment Talent

Curious, I looked up the show business careers of several winners of America’s talent shows. Not many stayed at the top, after being discovered. Just having a good voice or being a good musician was not enough. So what does assure the path to stardom? Let’s take a look.

Consider This Show – Talent

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Talent – #423

Who could have guessed that there was so much untapped entertainment talent out there in our country?

When you watch early auditions on talent shows like American Idol, you have to wonder what some people were thinking when they decide to try out. How could they possibly believe that the screechy voice or the bellowing screams they emit qualify them as singers? Who told them they sound good? Nasty friends? Kind parents? Wishful thinking?

But once the nincompoops are weeded out, oh my, what a field of talent.

Of course success will involve so much more than simply a good voice. Will they have the stamina to keep up with the demands of stardom? Will they have the right professional guidance to help them choose the right songs, the right auditions, the right looks and quotes and publicity?

Will they avoid the temptations that take so many fine artists down the road to destruction?

Will they manage to keep close, those who love them and treat people fairly? Do they really know what they are getting into when they decide to accept celebrity? Is it worth it?

We cheer them on and wish them well and watch them evolve right before our eyes.

Destined for stardom, tragedy . . . or both.

[Show #423]

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