Advice and Encouragement

Replacing Doors

Backstory

Have you noticed how nothing is simple anymore? The smallest task seems to get layers of complication. Like this one did.

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Replacing Doors- #483

We are replacing all the exterior doors in our house. It’s part of a larger renovation and we decided to go all the way and replace them all. Sounds easy, right?

The house already has doors, so we know what size they need to be. You just tell the guy, “Give me another door like this one.” Right? Not by a long shot.

There are so many decisions to be made over a simple thing like replacing the doors. Should they be wood or metal…should they swing in or out…do we want them to be insulated…should they have regular glass or thermal glass…what kinds of knobs or handles or hinges…should the sliding doors be replaced with new sliders or would French doors be more contemporary, more practical.

Then there is the issue of cost. Do we want the practical line, the affordable line, or the beautiful classic line? One door has stained glass in it. Do you know how many choices of stained glass there are?

When the man said, “replace the doors,” I envisioned a question that would take ten seconds to answer. Yes or no. Done. Not so.

A month from now, we may have all our options pinned down and be ready to make our decisions. The doors will open to our future, in time, in a lot of time from now.

Have you noticed; nothing is simple anymore?

P.S.

Speaking of simple, why is everything so difficult to open? From aluminum cans to microwave boxes and plastic containers. They all seem to fight me. Is this what happens as you get older or has someone orchestrated this daily challenge?

[Show #483]

Gone for the Rest of His Life

Backstory

I thought I knew him well, but I never saw this coming. We were business associates, and he was enthusiastic about our accomplishments. And then one day., he was no longer there.

Gone for the Rest of His Life

“Gone for the next chapter of my life.” That’s the message received if you sent him an email.

Two young men inherited the business from their father. They worked at it for over 20 years, built it up, made it a success. Then the older brother decided there was more to life.

There were so many things he still wanted to do, and learn, places to see, people he had yet to meet. He honestly felt that he could no longer stay in one place tied up in business responsibilities.

How fortunate to have a brother willing to take over with the leadership skills to continue the business on its successful path. So, he told colleagues and customers, “I am gone for the next chapter of my life.” What a rare option to choose. One not open to many and chosen by few.

What now? I wonder if he is hiking in the Himalayas, surfing off the beach in Hawaii, dispensing life saving polio vaccine on a Rotary mission to India. How did he decide what the next chapter of his life would encompass? Is he simply enjoying his garden, his woman, his grandchildren?

What would you do if you left your current life path to pursue the next chapter of your life? What a question to ponder.

P.S.

There is a belief that wherever you are and whatever you are doing at this moment is exactly as meant to be. It’s a decision that has been made by the universe. What happens if we have the courage to turn that decision upside down? To determine that your future is around a different curve. Consider the possibilities. He did, and never looked back.

[Show #411]

Start the Year Right

Backstory:

2020 – A year when we got broadsided faster then we could get upright from the last calamite. A time when the truth of every spoken word was questioned and no written word seemed to pass muster either. How do we set a stage for entering the complexities already obvious for the new year? A lot will depend on attitude.

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Start the Year Right – #490

Every morning, when you wake up, you have a big decision to make. You can decide whether to be happy . . . or sad.

It may not hit you in the head like a brick – “Hey there, do ya wanna be happy today?” So it’s important to KNOW that you have that choice. Something wonderful is totally in your control at that moment. YOU can decide!

Don’t put any reservations on your decision –

If my lottery number comes in today, I’ll be happy.
If he calls for a second date, I’ll be happy.
If I get on the scale and find I lost another pound, I’ll be happy.

You can CHOOSE to be happy, regardless of what you will face that day, or what outside interests have their hold on you.

You can’t control who will call or how lucky you will be or whether that éclair took its toll on your hips. But you CAN control whether you will be happy. It’s a decision you make for yourself.

It’s very selfish, because it involves nobody else but you. When you look in the mirror, over the bathroom sink, you can smile or you can frown. You can assume your day will go badly today . . . or decide to be happy even if it does.

Don’t let outside influences decide. It’s YOUR choice. Set your tone and attitude to welcome a day in which you will be happy, joyful and make good decisions for yourself. The choice is yours. What will it be?

P.S.

There! With that attitude set in place, go out into the world. Be a problem solver. Provide the glue that keeps things together. Bring the wisdom of experience to the table. Be the spokesperson for those with no voice. Bring calm into the room that leads to compromise. Happy New Year.

[Show #490]

When Christmas Is Sad

Backstory

On my sad Christmases, I would write. The keys on my computer would fly. It might be spilling all my sorrow, putting my anger into words, shouting out the injustice of my circumstance. Others shed tears to cope. Some go away, avoiding the setting of their last happy holiday. Others return to that special place. Some folks are lost, seeking a means to calm the hurt.

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Christmas Sad – #123

There are times when Christmas is sad. You may be missing a loved one, or you may be far away from home, on your own, or you may be the one left behind with your loved one serving of a battlefield halfway across the world. Sometimes it helps to remember not only this sad Christmas, but all of them, stacked up in a row from childhood until now.

Considering all of the holidays in our lifetime, some are bound to be better than others. But, ah, the good ones were really fine. Think about them and you’ll simply HAVE to smile as you remember words and actions, laughter and love.

Take out photos and relive those times, so warm and loving. No one can take those precious memories away. They may be the greatest gift we were given. Once a good thing happens, it can always be conjured up again in your mind. It can always make you smile as you remember, relive and enjoy it all over again.

So this Christmas, whether it’s one of your best or not, may you have the comfort of memories of Christmases past and may you smile and enjoy them all over again.

Wishing you a Christmas with a peaceful heart.

P.S.

It’s so easy to become sour when holiday plans go awry or you are sad. You want to blame someone or take it out on somebody. Instead, do something for someone else – or a lot of elses.

Take over someone’s job so they can be home with family on Christmas.
Serve at a soup kitchen – dressed up nicely for the holiday.
Sit with someone who is ill, so the caregiver can be with family.

As the holidays rush upon us, don’t become the Grinch who stole Christmas. Help bring peace on earth to your little corner of the world, no matter what.

[Show #123]

Be Thankful

Backstory

This is a real-life story from fifty years ago. It was a seminal moment in how I looked at things from then on. See if you can relate to what happened.

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Be Thankful – #191

“Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.” I first heard that mantra back in the 70’s. Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

At the time, we were living in our first house. It was a nice 3-bedroom split level in a residential development. But somehow, after a few years, the house seemed small. We needed more garage space, more bedrooms. I wanted bigger, better.

Then the recession hit. Security became very wobbly. The things I had assumed I deserved and would always be mine were being challenged. I might not have a job; my husband might not. Oh boy, how I wish I had those hundreds of dollars we spent on last year’s vacation.

Suddenly I looked around my beautiful, perfect, plentiful home and said, “Please God, just let us keep up the payments. Let us keep this roof over the heads of our children.”

Well, we did survive. The whole country did. Things turned around and we did eventually move on. But I never forgot the lesson I learned then. It may help you too.

Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

P.S.

In this time of pandemic lock-down, you might hear whining about the claustrophobic aspects of sheltering at home. Take another look. There are places where shelter is a tent or a ripple of tin. If yours is better than that, you know what to do.

[Show #634]

Choose Not to Worry

Backstory

Mom set the tone for my theory about worrying. Each time I had a teenage bout of mourning, she would make detailed notes of my sorrow. A month or so later, she would drag out her notes so we could check what benefit was derived from all the hours of teenage angst. Confronting the evidence of the time wasted on worry was grounds for a cure.

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Choose Not to Worry – #113

Why is it that some people seem laden down with worry and others just smile right through the potential calamity? If you read the newspaper or watch television these days, you can be overcome by news of what has already gone wrong, what’s at risk of going wrong, or what has the potential to bring us harm and doom.

Meanwhile, if you look around you, chances are that very few of those cataclysmic potentials have already affected you. Your home has not been foreclosed. You have not lost your job. Your teenagers actually love you and hold their own.

So how do we balance reasonable adult concern with worrying ourselves to pieces? Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” Figure out how you would deal with that happening and then move back into the world of here and now.

Don’t fuss about trifles; keep yourself busy, go smell the roses. And if your yard has dandelions instead of roses, go out and pick some. Gather a bouquet and consider them Mother Nature’s gift to you for not worrying today.

P.S.

In her blog, Positivity Tree, Ella Miller posts messages of inspiration, calm and contentment. Visit her at https://www.facebook.com/ThePositivityTree

[Show #113]

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