Family and Friendship

Responsible Fatherhood

Backstory – Responsible Fatherhood

The young man in this story is actually my grandson. As a single father, he had the best of intentions but little knowledge. The resource suggested was a big help to him.

My great grandson is now a happy, well-educated and content little guy who is the pride of both of his parents. Hear the resources suggested to his dad and pass the word along to any young father who is being celebrated today. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads.

Consider This Show – Responsible Fatherhood

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I talked with a young father after the last show we did on dads. He was a sincere young man with a son less than a year old.

He confessed that he didn’t know how to be a father. He was not sure what was expected of him. His model for fatherhood in his own life was not good. He wanted to be sure he would not fall into the mold of the father he grew up with.

I referred him to a website. Fatherhood.gov.

Although mothers have created many means of getting together and sharing problems and solutions, historically fathers have not.

The slogan on the website – Take time to be a dad today. It’s a clearing house for responsible fatherhood.

President Obama called for a national initiative to endorse and support responsible fatherhood.

The call was answered! There are now chat rooms and local groups of fathers who get together to discuss how to balance work and family life.

The website is a good addition – it’s www.fatherhood.gov.

For those who don’t reach out for help, the best advice is to be patient. Listen. Pay attention to what your kids are trying to tell you. Be responsive. You don’t have to be their best friend.

Just be a loving, caring dad who is there and who keeps his promises.

[Show #350]

What You Say Matters

My guy and I were just reminiscing about childhood. We were sharing incidents we still remember, half a century later. Why do certain things stick out so?

He recalled a 7^th grade teacher who showed him how to study and the benefits of learning. OK. That was a game changer.

But we also each recalled tiny incidents that should have been long forgotten, but were not.

My mom was rushed to finish a frock she was sewing for me. I was 8 years old. She put the dress on me to sew the final stitches, decided she didn’t have time and said she was going to hold the last stitch together with a safety pin. In her hurry, she stuck the pin right into me. It hurt – but not THAT much. Why do I still remember that silly incident?

I’ve mentioned before – the green imitation leather shoulder bag given to me by my aunt. It was an absolute treasure because it was woman size, when I had to grow quite a bit to get to that stage. I identified her as the first person in the world who realized that I was growing up and no longer a kid – even if the shoulder bag did hang down to my knees when I wore it.

Realize that YOU are making impressions like that on the young people in your life. You are saying things, and sharing experiences that people will remember a half century later. Yes, what you say matters. Be sure that what they remember is something good – or at least something funny.

[Show #497]

Autism

I’ve been reading up on autism lately; a subject that is of more interest today than ever before. Too many kids are autistic and we don’t know why.

Parents are frightened by the possibility that it’s from vaccinations. One father has one child who is autistic and two who have not yet been vaccinated. He wondered, “Will I wind up with three of them like this?”

Children with high-functioning autism look like any other children their age. They learn, they are often very bright. Yet their behavioral responses may be bizarre.

They lack social interaction skills that come naturally to most of us. Other kids won’t play with them. They have no friends. They are constantly being punishing for their disruptive behavior.

Yet we are finding that actually their brains are wired differently. Social interactions that are natural to most, are foreign to them. One mom of an Asperger child cautioned that her son is not less; he is different.

He does not comprehend that other people have other thoughts. He thinks that everyone’s thoughts are the same as his. So his interaction is totally self-centered. He seems rude. Actually, it’s how his brain is wired.

Parents have to unlearn parenting skills and start all over on a whole new page.

So much for us all to learn to treat or prevent autism.

[#433]

Mother’s Day Magic

What magic is given to mothers that they have such an ability to soothe? Antibiotics may cure the illness, but it’s a mother’s hands that soothe the pain, calm the fears and provide the reassurance.

Your hand in your mom’s can fix things, at any age. She always seems to know how you feel, what you need and what might be worrying you. She’s someone you can talk to, turn to, confess to.

What a wonderful gift she is. Her smile can remind you of the best in yourself. Her encouragement can convince you that you CAN get it done. When she doesn’t agree with you, she just may give you the cause to pause that results in making a better decision.

On Mother’s Day and year-round, give thanks that God made mothers. Something to consider.

[Show #137]

Surprise Party

How do you get 90 people to keep from giving away the secret, when you plan a surprise birthday party? That’s what I’m still trying to figure out.

My fiancé Bill and I entered a catering hall where I expected to attend a local fund raiser. SURPRISE – came the ear-shattering greeting, as we entered. Everyone was so excited . . . . and I was so confused. What were all these people doing here? It took moments for me to realize, it was a birthday party – for me! Good heavens!

My sister Karyn had worked on plans for months, in cahoots with my kids and her kids and local friends. Sixty-two people filled the hall and were suddenly all pressing forward for a hug or at least recognition of their presence. I was in a daze!

My kids were all there – from New Jersey and Michigan, most of the grand-kids and my precious great grandson. Seems that nearly a hundred people were in on the surprise. And not a single one gave it away. Not deliberately or by mistake. I was just amazed.

Also amazed by the love and affection it represented. It was humbling and heartwarming. Friends came to Virginia from as far away as Texas. I was so moved and excited and just wished we all had more hours, or even days, to spend together.

I don’t know how YOU feel about surprise parties, but this one was delightful, entertaining and memorable. Thank you so much.

[Show #602]

Courtesy Close In

I was coming around the corner in the grocery store. So was he. Whew . . . close call with our carts. “Excuse me,” he smiled. “No problem,” I replied with a smile as generous as his. We were so kind and polite to each other, we two strangers. I was proud of us both.

But sometimes we forget to be equally polite to the people we love and who mean something to us. A child approaching while you’re fixing dinner may hear, “Watch out; get out of the way.” A wife reaching for a kiss during the football game may be waved off. A teenager arriving home with the groceries may be greeted with, “It’s about time you got back” Instead of “Thanks for making that trip.”

We expect that those close to us will accept this kind of behavior. After all, we can’t go around the house muttering “Please, thank you, excuse me” – all day long. Can we?
Why not?

Why treat strangers in a kinder and more polite way than those we love?
Practice thinking and saying those special words around the house. Practice courtesy towards those you love!

Please . . . thank you . . . excuse me. It will be such a joy when the new kinder gentler you takes hold.

And when you find the words being used by children and grandchildren too . . . well, that’s when you know you’ve made your corner of the world a slightly little better place.

[#336]

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