Search Results for: gifts

Listening

I remember hearing someone at a party described as a brilliant conversationalist. I was surprised at the comment, because it had just occurred to me that I had hardly heard the man say a word all night.

I think what the observer had witnessed was good listening skills. When the man did speak, he fed back what the other person had said. That must have made him sound very wise.

Listening really is a very important skill. How well you listen can have a major impact on your job and your relationships with others.

An early mentor of mine told me to learn to “Listen with a third ear.” It took me a long time to figure out what that meant – listening between the lines; listening to body language as well as words.

When you are truly listening, you are NOT thinking about what you will say next. You are concentrating on the other person and committed to hearing all the nuances of their language.

By becoming a better listener, we improve our productivity and increase our ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. We also avoid the conflict and misunderstandings that may result when you THINK you heard but really didn’t.

Take time to practice good listening skills. It’s a personal improvement that gives rich returns.

And – thanks for listening.

[#435]

Something Bad Could Happen

It’s easy to get swept away by the bad news: someone is treated badly; someone is swindled out of their life savings, the life is savagely snuffed out of a good person, a young life is lost.

Knowing about the bad things that could happen can be scary. It can get us to a place where we are waiting for the next shoe to fall. When will it be OUR TURN to experience something bad? It could be around the next corner. And it COULD!

Even after something bad, though, most likely, there will be something good around the next corner. Remember that the media has to pull news about something bad from all around the country and the world, just to keep us informed.

It’s not news that 16 million school children arrived safety. There’s no headline in knowing that 45 million husbands chose to come home to their families and share their lives tonight. The fact that 34 million of them were met with a hug and a smile; you’ll never hear Fox News report it.

So take the news with a grain of salt. Something bad did happen to them. It could happen to you. And if it does, you have the strength and courage to figure out how to handle it.

In the meantime, enjoy the everyday good times. Treasure them. Don’t let them get by without celebration. They are what this good life is all about.

[#322]

Are You Lucky?

Are you lucky? If someone asked you that today, what would you use as a benchmark, to determine your own good fortune? What is going on with you that makes you feel lucky? Have you won a prize lately? Did you get the job you wanted? Have you always had a job that you love, or the man or woman of your choice?

Any one of those things could be considered very good luck. But there are so many benefits that we have that make us luckier than most, that we were born in this time, in this country.

It’s easy to forget how many basic things we have that would make others consider every one of us to be very lucky. We turn on the faucet and clean water comes out. Do you know how many people can only dream of that?

When you turn the lights out at night, you can reasonably expect that there will not be soldiers banging on your door, dragging someone away, never to be seen again.

We can learn and participate and speak out. As we hear complaints about our country, our government, our citizens, let’s remember that within all the chaos, we are still free and well fed and allowed to go about our business as we please.

We can go to church . . . or the mall . . . choose the shows we want to watch on TV or travel across state lines. We can hear what the opposition has to say, voice our concerns and seek justice.

How lucky are you? Lottery winner or not, chances are you are one lucky dude.

[#524]

Conflicting Advice

There are so many experts out there; people who think they know better than you, what is best for you. Listening to them all can seem like a cacophony of conflicting advice.

You follow the rules for overcoming this bad habit this week, and the next week, the rules are the reverse of what you’ve been doing. Today the advice is to turn left; tomorrow, you’re told to turn right.

Seems to me, the key is knowing your own mind, spirit and body and making your own decisions about what’s best for you.

I saw a news report recently about how Facebook is bad for your health because it is addictive. Of course we’ve all heard stories about people getting sucked into online chat rooms or dark places or social media to the exclusion of all else – job, family, friends. But we don’t shut down a tool that facilitates billions of communications because of the few who get lost.

One third of seniors will fall this year. But we don’t put old folks in football helmets to save them from this fate.

Maybe what’s needed is a large dose of caution and a little common sense, added to the advice of experts. Get more than one opinion. Check the accuracy of the facts. Consider the pros and the cons. Set up your own filters before following advice blindly.

That even applies to the advice just provided.

[#523]

How Early Did You Know Joy?

I was trying to think back to when I first understood the concept of JOY. I know for sure that it was there when my children were each born—incredible joy that not only their fingers and toes were intact, but their soul and spirit and brain as well—and all in my care to form and nurture.

But I was joyous before then. Every time I think of a joyous moment, an earlier one occurs to me too. There was the joy of graduation . . . of first love . . . of the first good reviews on the job. I remember the joy of pulling safely up to my parents’ house after driving a car alone for the first time.

But even before then, there was the joy of sounds of music in church . . . Christmas celebrations . . . finding out that a childhood friend was a REAL friend, willing to stand up for me and take rough hits.

I wonder if I felt joy as a baby . . . as an infant. I’ll bet I did. I’ll bet an infant cuddled in its mother’s arms knows unmitigated joy. It’s true for the mother, so it probably is for the child as well.

So it seems that joy has been with us our whole lives. All we have to do is recognize it, and bask in it. One thing for sure. Joy is not in things; it is in people and memories. Make sure your daily tendings include a search for joy.

Photo credit: Michael Petrick of Petrick Studios

[Show #430]

Was Dad Confident?

We’ve been talking about fathers lately and it made me think about my own dad. We spent years living in the same house, eating the same food, experiencing life in the same way. Yet my images of him and the incidents I remember seem few and far between, considering all the time together. I had to dig deep to pull them out.

I wonder if your dad would be surprised to hear what you remember of him. Was he loving? Or brash? Playful? Sullen? Are you remembering accurately or has time rewritten your personal history?

Dads might really be surprised to find out what their children remember of them, years later. Father was so big when you were young. And he wielded the power of being the man of the house. He had the ultimate say; at least that was the way it was in our house.

I wonder now how my dad made those hard decisions – when to punish, when to chastise, when to comfort, when to let it go, and when to turn an incident into a lesson in principles or morals.

Did he consider himself successful as a dad? Did he have second thoughts about edicts or verdicts?

He seemed so sure of himself all the time. Was he? Always? I’ll never know.

[Show #355]

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