Inspiration

Rethinking Sympathy

Backstory

There is a tendency to fill the air with words, when expressing sympathy, in person or in writing. Hallmark chooses comforting messages for you. Sometimes empathy presents the best sincerity.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Rethinking Sympathy – #377

“I know how you feel.” People often say that, to show empathy with someone else. The truth is, you probably have no idea how they feel. And saying that you do may really aggravate the other person or make them want to scream back that you could not possibly feel their pain.

So how do you comfort someone over a loss or a tragedy? You might say – I know how I would feel in that situation. You might even find better words to use.

Often, it’s best to just be quiet. Be a sounding board, rather than someone who gives advice. Let the other person vent or cry on your shoulder. A gentle touch…a hug …the holding of a hand – all those can express empathy better than a speech.

Sometimes you’ll share the tears; sometimes you’ll dry them. Just being there with someone you care for can be the greatest gift in their time of need. Being there…and quiet…and listening…and sharing.

You won’t find that prescription on a bottle of medication. You’ll find it in your soul.

Don’t be afraid of the person in pain. Don’t try to convince them things will be better. Just be there for them, with love in your heart.

It works.

P.S.
Some people have a generous knack for expressing sympathy by doing. We think to take food over right away, but take it again later too. Call with a lunch invitation in a few weeks. If you are turned down, ask again later. Send a “thinking of you” card the next month. Mark your calendar to remember to stay in touch. Don’t let your hurting friend fall between the cracks of your busy life. Good friends are rare – and well worth the extra effort.

[Show #377]

What People Think

Backstory

I was in an improv group that performed skits before groups as an alternative to speakers. In one skit, I played a mom, who cared more about what the neighbors thought than she did about her own daughter’s pain. Remembering that performance was the genesis of this episode.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

What People Think – #272

We were just talking about what people think of you. Should you care what they think? Seems it should depend on who is doing the thinking.

A friend recently told me that he likes his wife’s hair because she still wears it fluffy. That’s not the current trend in hair styles. But which is more important – being a trend setter or setting your guy’s heart aflutter when he looks at you in that fluffy hair style that he loves.

As we get older, we sometimes fall victim to what other people think. We seem to let them convince us that they know better about what we should do, or say, or look like. They say that walking on 5 inch high heels is the way to look cool. They threaten that love belongs only to those skeletal enough to wear a size 4. They warn that nobody over 50 can get a job in this new economy. None of that may be true for you. Don’t believe it. Make a judgment for yourself about what is true and act accordingly.

Every day, we are faced with decisions. We can make them based on our own values or based on what others will think. Which will you choose today?

The best advice seems to be the one frequently directed to young people as they mature – be true to yourself. If you can do that, no matter what your age, you’ll probably make out just fine.

P.S.

What experience do you have about what people think? Want to share something with our listeners and readers? Scroll down and write on.

[Show #272]

Motorcycle Annie

Backstory

Do you see an action video on Facebook featuring a mature woman and ask yourself, “How does she do that, at her age?” Annie had the same question. And then, something happened!

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Motorcycle Annie – #701

I just saw an intriguing photo – a lovely lady perched on her motorcycle. At 71, Annie has just completed the motorcycle safety course. She is brand new to the bike and she loves it.

Annie wasn’t doing too well a few years ago. She had aches and pains that seem to come along with Social Security. But this lady decided to do something about it. She got into an exercise program that improved her strength and brought back her vitality. She spends it on that motorcycle – among other things.

For YOU to improve your overall physical fitness, what you really need, to start, is just -your FEET. Yep, a program of fitness can start as easily as simply getting out of your chair and on your feet. Walking is easy. As you gain stamina, you add other activities.

Go for the gusto and motorcycle with Annie, Or take a more pedestrian route.

In any case, you’ll be amazed how fast it makes a difference.

P.S.

Even if you never get past the stage where it’s your feet moving you around, the oxygen will pump blood through your veins and will help you thrive.

[Show #701]

Giving and Getting Help

Backstory

There was a time when I was overwhelmed with responsibility. The stress was showing – and fellow Rotarians stepped in and provided help that made a difference and kept me sane. It taught me several things. I’d like to share them with you today.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Giving and Getting Help – #263

There are times in life when we are called on to do things that are difficult. They seem to come in threes, these times of challenge. And when they occur, they seem to define us wholly.

Instead of being a multi-faceted human being, we start to think that we are nothing more than the care giver, the mother figure, the easily disposable employee.

So many people are struggling today. It is very possible that you may be called on to give help, jump in, provide a safety net or a soft place to land. It’s also possible that you become the one who needs help.

When suddenly called on to take a difficult new role, it’s important to keep your perspective. You are the same person as before the challenge occurred. You may feel overwhelmed at the beginning. But you can figure things out. You always have.

It’s said that God never calls on us to do more than we can. Pray for strength if that’s where you get spiritual courage.

Be willing to ask for help yourself if it gets to be too much. Look around and you may find willing, loving helpers in places you would not imagine. Speak out and let the help come forward.

You CAN make it through these times. Easy? No. Doable? Yes.

God bless you.

P.S.

A friend told a story about noticing that the lady at the muffin stand, where she stopped each morning for years, did not look or sound good that day. She took time off from work to get the vendor to a doctor – and saved her life. Who knew that a customer would go to those lengths of caring? Selfless help is all around but people must KNOW there is a need. Be willing to step up when you feel that things are not right. Be willing to ask for help when you need it. Test human kindness. You may be delighted with what you discover.

[Show #263]

Teacher Krista

Backstory

We were all enthralled when Krista shared her adventures as a new teacher. Her biggest memory of her young students – They always had sticky hands! Besides the jokes and cute stories, a very distinct edge could be seen. Here was a young woman who was going to make a difference in the lives of the students she taught. May I share with you, the story of who inspired her.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Teacher Krista – #653

Today our story is about a young teacher, on the last day of her first teaching assignment. I sincerely hope that her words bring back memories for you, of a beloved teacher somewhere in your past.

Krista wrote – “Today felt a lot like the last day of seventh grade. Only this time, I got to be on the teacher end.

“In seventh grade, my teacher, Mr. Heitmann, created a classroom community that I never wanted to leave. I always hoped that one day I would be able to do that for my students.

Today, between their tears and mine,I realized that I do have the ability to create that classroom community. It’s within my power to do so.”

Krista went on to describe her emotional exit and the goodbyes and selfies; the promises to be good, to be smart, to be special. You could just see the little children gathered about, reaching out for a last touch or hug or whisper, promising to remember always.

Krista concluded her story by sharing, “I left my students with a quote of Mr. Heitmann. It’s what he said to my seventh grade class, some ten years ago –

‘Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.’ “

Thank goodness the world has teachers like Mr. Heitmann, and now, Miz Krista.

P.S.

Krista will leave soon to teach in another land across the sea. How fortunate are the students who will be touched by her and inspired by her words and her example. The world needs all the Kristas it can get.

[Show #653]

Sharing Something of Value

Backstory

Someone shared the Chinese proverb with me. I have always found wisdom in words from the orient. Is it because they are exotic? Or simply bubbling with insight? In any case, I started thinking about what kinds of things have value to others, to me. This story came from those musings.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Sharing Something of Value – #450

The Chinese have a saying – “When someone shares with you something of value, you have an obligation to share it with others.” You could apply that to many things – knowledge, money, gratitude, even smiles.

Imagine considering it an obligation to smile at someone else, every time someone smiles at you. The question is whether a smile is something of value. What do you think?

I remember hearing that a smile is an instant face lift. And indeed, a smiling face is so much more attractive than one with a frown drawn on it.

Watch attractive elderly women. They know the secret of the face-lifting smile. You will rarely see them without a smile on their lips. And you can’t help thinking how lovely they are.

What else do you receive of value that should be shared?

We Americans are generous with sharing our wealth; from donations to the Red Cross and Salvation Army, to funding of Wounded Warrior to individual help provided anonymously when we hear there is a need. To those who receive much, much is expected.

We seem to have learned the Chinese lesson well, although it never hurts to be reminded.

P.S.

Different times form different values. Living through the depression as a young adult, my grandmother found value in making things last. Even when times changed for the better, she continued to save string in a ball. Her notes were written on the backs of used envelopes. Drippings from this morning’s bacon fried green tomatoes for dinner. Sure is different from today’s use-and-discard approach.

[Show #450]

« Previous Page