children

Just Like You

Backstory

The song was from the If You’re Going Through Hell album by country singer, Rodney Atkins. It was titled Watching You and it was released in 2006. It’s the tearjerker behind this story.

Just Like You

There’s a country song I love. A father is singing about his young son who lets loose with a profanity. “Where did you learn to speak like that?” the father demands. “From you daddy,” the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

Later in the song, the father is redeemed when he hears his son speak original words to God and asks where he learned to pray like that. “From you daddy”, the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

How often do we wonder where one of our children gets an attitude, or a prejudice, or passion? Often, we just need to look in the mirror to find the source. The things that you say and do everyday influence everyone around you; for the good, and for the bad.

So, when you decide what kind of stance to take, think twice about what you say. The position you take may well become the same one your children will carry into the next generation. You may never hear your child say, “Mommy, I want to be just like you.” But how often has it occurred to you, “Oh my God, I have become my mother” or “I have become my father.”

When that thought occurs to your child, make sure it makes them smile, not frown. And when your children become you, make sure they can be proud of the person they’ve become.

P.S.

In 2021, there is more need than ever for parents to display the traits you want offspring to emulate. Are you standing up against bullying? Have you explained ways to channel anger? Have you practiced conversations that respect all points of view? Kids are on a new playing field these days that may require patient consideration and discussion. Be sure your children can find that at home.

[Show #485]

Private Moment for Moms

Backstory

I had just received a compliment on how well my grown children turned out. I started thinking about what it took to get them there. The more I thought about what mothers achieve, the more amazed I was. This story was the result.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Private Moment for Moms – #288

This is a little private moment for the mothers in our audience. Did you ever think you’d be able to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Where did we learn how to do things like that? What magical power was bestowed upon us for the years when our families needed us 24/7? Where did we get the patience to sit and rock for hours on end soothing a crying baby who refused to be comforted? Sometimes we know exactly what to do . . . and sometimes we don’t.

So this is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them. This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peace loving and now pray they come home safely from a war.

The emotions of motherhood are universal and our thoughts today are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation… And mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mom and married moms. Mothers with money, mothers without.

Hang in there. In the end, we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them and show them besides. And pray and never stop being a mom. No, never stop.

[Show 288/504]

Edited and updated May 26, 2019.

Toy Library

Backstory

I could hardly walk through the room, for all the toys spread around. Looking at the broken plastic pieces, I could just imagine how much all this cost. But there was so much; it was overpowering. How best to organize toys and help children to appreciate them? We explore all that in this week’s story.

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Toy Library – #346

Have you ever counted the toys your kids have? A well-known parenting guru suggests that the overabundance of toys possessed by kids today is not a blessing. He claims that an average American child has 150 toys. Think what that means in a family with 3 or 4 kids.

Overstimulation from the media, video games and noisy toys are creating chaos. The way out is to weed out your kids’ stuff.

Reduce the chaos and introduce calm. Give away outgrown toys: discard broken ones and pack a lot of the rest away.

There are coaches who get paid to come into a home and reduce the abundance. They remove as much as 75% of the children’s clothes and toys. You can do the same thing. That will reduce the clutter.

Then introduce the calm. Set up a schedule for watching TV or playing video games, rather than having both run 24/7 at will. Get rid of noisy, flashing toys. They actually do the playing for the child. Instead, provide toys that challenge the child’s imagination.

Create a veritable library of toys, to be checked out, played with In those periods of calm you created, and returned. Sounds like quite an improvement.

P.S.

Toys Are Us just went out of business. One analyst said it was because kids would rather watch a YouTube video of kids playing, than play themselves. Playing is how we learned to imagine: how we learned to treat others; how we learned about the consequences of making a bad decision. How shall we replace those experiences in today’s world of busy thumbs and digital screens?

[Show #346]

Responsible Fatherhood

Backstory – Responsible Fatherhood

The young man in this story is actually my grandson. As a single father, he had the best of intentions but little knowledge. The resource suggested was a big help to him.

My great grandson is now a happy, well-educated and content little guy who is the pride of both of his parents. Hear the resources suggested to his dad and pass the word along to any young father who is being celebrated today. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads.

Consider This Show – Responsible Fatherhood

Click to listen or follow below to read

I talked with a young father after the last show we did on dads. He was a sincere young man with a son less than a year old.

He confessed that he didn’t know how to be a father. He was not sure what was expected of him. His model for fatherhood in his own life was not good. He wanted to be sure he would not fall into the mold of the father he grew up with.

I referred him to a website. Fatherhood.gov.

Although mothers have created many means of getting together and sharing problems and solutions, historically fathers have not.

The slogan on the website – Take time to be a dad today. It’s a clearing house for responsible fatherhood.

President Obama called for a national initiative to endorse and support responsible fatherhood.

The call was answered! There are now chat rooms and local groups of fathers who get together to discuss how to balance work and family life.

The website is a good addition – it’s www.fatherhood.gov.

For those who don’t reach out for help, the best advice is to be patient. Listen. Pay attention to what your kids are trying to tell you. Be responsive. You don’t have to be their best friend.

Just be a loving, caring dad who is there and who keeps his promises.

[Show #350]

What You Say Matters

My guy and I were just reminiscing about childhood. We were sharing incidents we still remember, half a century later. Why do certain things stick out so?

He recalled a 7^th grade teacher who showed him how to study and the benefits of learning. OK. That was a game changer.

But we also each recalled tiny incidents that should have been long forgotten, but were not.

My mom was rushed to finish a frock she was sewing for me. I was 8 years old. She put the dress on me to sew the final stitches, decided she didn’t have time and said she was going to hold the last stitch together with a safety pin. In her hurry, she stuck the pin right into me. It hurt – but not THAT much. Why do I still remember that silly incident?

I’ve mentioned before – the green imitation leather shoulder bag given to me by my aunt. It was an absolute treasure because it was woman size, when I had to grow quite a bit to get to that stage. I identified her as the first person in the world who realized that I was growing up and no longer a kid – even if the shoulder bag did hang down to my knees when I wore it.

Realize that YOU are making impressions like that on the young people in your life. You are saying things, and sharing experiences that people will remember a half century later. Yes, what you say matters. Be sure that what they remember is something good – or at least something funny.

[Show #497]

Autism

I’ve been reading up on autism lately; a subject that is of more interest today than ever before. Too many kids are autistic and we don’t know why.

Parents are frightened by the possibility that it’s from vaccinations. One father has one child who is autistic and two who have not yet been vaccinated. He wondered, “Will I wind up with three of them like this?”

Children with high-functioning autism look like any other children their age. They learn, they are often very bright. Yet their behavioral responses may be bizarre.

They lack social interaction skills that come naturally to most of us. Other kids won’t play with them. They have no friends. They are constantly being punishing for their disruptive behavior.

Yet we are finding that actually their brains are wired differently. Social interactions that are natural to most, are foreign to them. One mom of an Asperger child cautioned that her son is not less; he is different.

He does not comprehend that other people have other thoughts. He thinks that everyone’s thoughts are the same as his. So his interaction is totally self-centered. He seems rude. Actually, it’s how his brain is wired.

Parents have to unlearn parenting skills and start all over on a whole new page.

So much for us all to learn to treat or prevent autism.

[#433]