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CONSIDER THIS with Annette Petrick

Timely perspectives on life, love, friends, family, giving back, and giving thanks

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Love and Kindness

Married

Married - Annette and Bill
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Backstory 

“You’ve got to write about it,” said one listener.  “I’ll be watching for the story,” said another.  So now that the decisiveness of marriage has sunk in, I decided to fill the requests and tell you how the man finally got me to the altar, after eight years of keeping him waiting.  It is this week’s story.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Married –  #640

In a recent story, I told how my friend Joan had encouraged me to let Bill put a ring on it.  I was hesitant and she pointed out that time was passing and each day was one we could have enjoyed as husband and wife.  She said, “You don’t want to run out of time!”

She was right, so I said to Bill, “About getting married, you want to do it now?”  Like in time travelers, we were suddenly signing papers at the courthouse. 

I called Joan and said, “On Friday, are you willing to drop everything and come be a witness at our wedding?” 

She agreed in half a second.  So did three other dear friends and there we were in front of an officiant, in the presence of God, saying our home made vows.

Bill was asked, “Do you take Annette . . .” and he responded with a really fast “yes,” before hearing the rest of the question.  He was oh so ready to be a husband.

It was joyous, it was simple, it was fast and it was meant to be. Our home is full of love and each day is precious. And it happened because my friend Joan took the initiative to encourage us to see what was right before our eyes.

We should all be thankful for friends whose advice and guidance help us make better decisions in life. 

P.S. 

It was never that I didn’t want to be married. It’s just that everything was going along just fine. We had eight years with nary a bad day.  There did not seem to be any need for improvement.  But when I see the joy in his eyes when he calls me his wife. . . when I feel his sense of protection as my husband . . .  Oh yes, this wedding was a good idea, Joan.

[Show #640]

Filed Under: Family and Friendship, Laughter, Joy, and Gratitude, Love and Kindness Tagged With: marriage

Instant Family

Instant Family photos
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Backstory  

Photos are used to memorialize big events in our lives.  We look at the image and conjure up the event and the people and the happenstance.  Hopefully it was a happy time that brings smiles to our lips. 

But what happens to the memories when the photos are gone?  When there is no one left who treasures them or wants to keep them lovingly in a book or box or locket.  We explore that phenomenon in today’s story.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Instant Family –  #352

We were at an estate auction recently, An elderly lady had died and the contents of her house were being disposed of. Kind of a sad event – watching the accumulations of a lifetime on the auction block.

It is particularly poignant to see family photos in frames going to the stranger with the highest bid. Pictures that sing of memories of a life lived.

Are there children who didn’t want these photos? Is there no one left behind who would care about the smiles of the children on the back of the farm wagon? Or the youthful grin of the boy and his dog? Or the sweeping elegance of the bride in the photo dated 1923?

One auctioneer joked while justifying bids for a box of photos – “Instant family – right here.” A dealer bought that box. He will sort through the photos and put the best ones on display in his shop.

He’ll hope to find something valuable in there. But he’ll pass over dozens of photos that had value, once, to someone.

Perhaps the fact that “things” are being auctioned off is insignificant.  The furniture and tools and souvenirs and quilts didn’t make this person’s life,

The memories represented by those photos did.

Looks like it was a good life.  I hope so.

P.S.  

Photos disappear.  Memories fade.  So how DOES one create immortality?  Perhaps it all comes back to one of my favorite quotes of Maya Angelou: 
“At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” 

[Show #352]

Filed Under: Family and Friendship, Love and Kindness, Memories and Aging Well Tagged With: Family, memories, photos

Entertainment Talent

Entertainment Talent
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Backstory – Entertainment Talent

Curious, I looked up the show business careers of several winners of America’s talent shows.  Not many stayed at the top, after being discovered.  Just having a good voice or being a good musician was not enough.  So what does assure the path to stardom?   Let’s take a look.

Consider This Show – Talent

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Talent –  #423

Who could have guessed that there was so much untapped entertainment talent out there in our country? 

When you watch early auditions on talent shows like American Idol, you have to wonder what some people were thinking when they decide to try out. How could they possibly believe that the screechy voice or the bellowing screams they emit qualify them as singers?  Who told them they sound good? Nasty friends?  Kind parents?  Wishful thinking?

But once the nincompoops are weeded out, oh my, what a field of talent.

Of course success will involve so much more than simply a good voice.  Will they have the stamina to keep up with the demands of stardom?  Will they have the right professional guidance to help them choose the right songs, the right auditions, the right looks and quotes and publicity?

Will they avoid the temptations that take so many fine artists down the road to destruction?

Will they manage to keep close, those who love them and treat people fairly? Do they really know what they are getting into when they decide to accept celebrity? Is it worth it?

We cheer them on and wish them well and watch them evolve right before our eyes.

Destined for stardom, tragedy . . . or both. 

[Show #423]

Filed Under: Advice and Encouragement, Love and Kindness Tagged With: Inspiration, life lessons, stardom, success, talent

Retirement – A Second Chance

second chance
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Backstory – Retirement

Looking around at retired friends, I marveled at how active and involved they are.  No rocking chair sitters, these.  Taking a better look, I thought about what an opportunity retirement is to reinvent yourself. That thought inspired this week’s show.

Consider This Show – Second Chance

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Second Chance –  #621

You know what’s great about retirement? It gives you a second chance at having an authentic life.

Thank goodness baby boomers are strong and healthy, well into their sixties, seventies and even their eighties – something our grandparents could not even wish for.  They were tired at 50 and spent at 60.  That’s not the case today.

So when folks retire, they have a second chance to have an authentic life, if it didn’t work for them the first time around.  And they have the wisdom of experience, to enhance their success.

I have many friends who are enjoying a new authentic life, since retirement.

  • A non-profit executive from NYC – opened a flower shop in California, something she had always wanted to do.
  • A retired nurse became a care-giver.
  • A retired public speaker started writing a 90 second radio show. You’re listening to it right now.
  • A physicist started studying the Russian language. He traveled to Moscow to test his linguistic skills.  There he found access to opera and ballet at the price of a box lunch in NYC. He keeps going back for more.

Whether your work life was authentic or not, in retirement, you could start out on a new path, if you want. 

Psychologist Carl Jung told us, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”   And life after retirement offers that privilege, a second time around.

[Show #621]

Filed Under: Advice and Encouragement, Love and Kindness, Memories and Aging Well Tagged With: lifestyle, retirement, second chance

Raising Honest Children

honest children
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Backstory – Honest Children

I was wrestling with versions of the truth as reported on the news.  Which truth does one believe?  I feel for children growing up in this chaotic time. How do we teach them to tell the truth and stand by the truth in an age where truth is as steady as Jello thrown against the wall?  What a daunting task.

Consider This Show – Honest Children

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Raising Honest Children –  #426

Raising honest children today, I believe, is really difficult. There are times I think there is no more truth. Everything has a spin on it that benefits one group or another.

Telling the truth can get you into trouble.  It can make your friends mad at you.  It seems people want you to say what they want to hear, rather than what is honestly the truth.

If we are to teach our children to tell the truth, we have to create room for candor – for an authentic voice. We have to allow children to speak their mind, even if their thoughts or values differ from ours.

But when the value they are moving toward is not the truth, we need to show them how to grasp the truth and face it.

What happens when a child is caught in a lie? I believe we have to hold them responsible. We need to set firm, fair consequences and limits.

The child who lies must suffer the consequences.

Discuss honesty in words the child can understand. Stories of rewards for telling the truth are effective. 

The best lesson is MODELING honesty. Be willing to admit your own mistakes with the truth. Beware of hypocrisy – Don’t preach one thing and do another. Avoid calling the child a liar. Teach rather than scold. It works better . . . and that’s the truth! 

[Show #426]

Filed Under: Family and Friendship, Love and Kindness Tagged With: honest children, Honesty

One Gift

you are beautiful
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Backstory – One Gift

We were talking about beauty.  Standard wisdom is that beauty fades.  Actually, it depends on what you consider beautiful.  And that depends on whether your eyes are on something or someone who is loved or simply seen.  This story was the result of that reflection.

Consider This Show – One Gift

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To Whom Are You Beautiful? – #458

I heard a wife tell her husband, “If I could give you one gift in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes.  Only then would you realize how special you are to me.”

It truly is a gift to be seen through the eyes of love. We are beautiful, in the eyes of those who love us. And if we’re lucky, that person tells us often how much we are loved and cherished, and how beautiful we are – man or woman.

I so enjoy when you can see, just by looking at them, how much a couple care about each other. It is particularly true when they have been together for a long time.

At a recent community meeting, someone announced that a couple was celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary. The husband stood up and added, “And I am still in love with her!” The spontaneous announcement was so touching, as his bride blushed at the public attention.

But he didn’t even need to say it out loud. You could tell by the loving way he treated her, that she was still that beautiful, flirtatious young woman who had captured his heart so many decades ago. That’s what HE saw when he looked at her, regardless of the whitened hair and wobbly knees that had become today’s reality.

To see them together was to believe in love all over again.

[Show #458]

Filed Under: Advice and Encouragement, Love and Kindness Tagged With: beauty, love

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