Family and Friendship

Be Aware

Backstory

My husband’s father was a very down-to-earth working man. While he might not correct your grammar or your manners, he did have certain demands of those he loved. He wanted you to be cautious. He felt that your life could depend on it.

Be Aware – #478

My father-in-law had a favorite lesson to impress on his kids and grandkids. Always be aware of your surroundings. He taught us to do that when walking from the building to a car. Be aware of who’s around, what cars are headed your way, what looks suspicious or what or who looks like they may need help.

He taught us to anticipate risks and eliminate them. A toddler in the kitchen could find himself in peril unless the room is made safe for a teetering little person.

Today we call it situational awareness. Police try to instill it in kids to keep them safe from predators. Older people use it to address obstacles that could cause a fall. On the job, situational awareness saves lives and limbs. A piece of equipment left in the way, a machine that Is not working right, an electric cord stretched across the walkway. They are all possible accident causes. They are so often overlooked and so easily relieved by anyone who is really paying attention.

Let’s all ratchet up our situational awareness. If it’s not right, let someone know or reach out and fix it. Consider it part of that business of, doing unto others as you want others to do unto you.

P.S.

Today, social media would surely top this dad’s cautions. New dangers keep popping up with the potential for dire consequences. Some protection can be purchased and some just require good common sense. As dad would have said, “Be aware!”

[Show #478]

Just Like You

Backstory

The song was from the If You’re Going Through Hell album by country singer, Rodney Atkins. It was titled Watching You and it was released in 2006. It’s the tearjerker behind this story.

Just Like You

There’s a country song I love. A father is singing about his young son who lets loose with a profanity. “Where did you learn to speak like that?” the father demands. “From you daddy,” the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

Later in the song, the father is redeemed when he hears his son speak original words to God and asks where he learned to pray like that. “From you daddy”, the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

How often do we wonder where one of our children gets an attitude, or a prejudice, or passion? Often, we just need to look in the mirror to find the source. The things that you say and do everyday influence everyone around you; for the good, and for the bad.

So, when you decide what kind of stance to take, think twice about what you say. The position you take may well become the same one your children will carry into the next generation. You may never hear your child say, “Mommy, I want to be just like you.” But how often has it occurred to you, “Oh my God, I have become my mother” or “I have become my father.”

When that thought occurs to your child, make sure it makes them smile, not frown. And when your children become you, make sure they can be proud of the person they’ve become.

P.S.

In 2021, there is more need than ever for parents to display the traits you want offspring to emulate. Are you standing up against bullying? Have you explained ways to channel anger? Have you practiced conversations that respect all points of view? Kids are on a new playing field these days that may require patient consideration and discussion. Be sure your children can find that at home.

[Show #485]

My Sister

Backstory

When I began speaking in public, a mentor advised, “They may not remember who you were or what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.” That’s what my sister Karyn leaves behind. (Be sure to read the P.S. to this story.)

Click to listen or follow below to read.

My Sister – #503

My sister and I were having a discussion about what we wanted to leave for posterity; what we wanted people to remember about us when we’re gone. My sister is a very spiritual person; learned in religions of the world, yoga student, teacher of meditation and other skills for achieving tranquility and ease of well-being. I can imagine that she leaves many people with the tools to find serenity.

My sister has found that inner place for herself. Her daily ritual of meditation is often held in conference with nature. When she’s at the ocean, she ventures out in the darkness before sunrise, finds a comfortable place within eyesight of the ocean and lets the calming waves bring her into the new day. What joy she must achieve, for herself only, for this is a time of inner focus.

And the rest of her day is spent outward bound in the creativity of a writer, a genealogist, a grandmother, a gifted crafter and a would-be businesswoman whose strategic plan usually reverts back to meditation rather than achievement.

She is a full circle success, my sister. And her legacy will be the joy known by anyone who has made her acquaintance. You would remember her red hair, her welcoming smile, and that you felt instantly at ease in her presence.

Some of us leave monuments for posterity, others leave the gift of just having known them.

P.S.

You’ll find my sister, Karyn Romani, these days at The Positivity Tree. She has joined her daughter Ella Miller to become a cultivator of positivity rooted in optimism. The Positivity Tree is about being curious, empathetic, self-aware, balanced, less stressed and more appreciative in life. Together, they explore how to bring more optimism to work, home, family, relationships and life. It’s a beautiful place. https://www.thepositivitytree.com

[Show #503]

The Art of Downsizing

Backstory

Just how to start downsizing. That was the question. Most families realize that at one time or another, they’re going to need smaller space that will only accommodate less “stuff.” That time finally arrived for us and here’s how we went about it.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

The Art of Downsizing – #608

I gave away seven gaily painted nutcrackers and ten wooden toys. They were part of our Christmas decorations, as the children were growing up, and long after. I took them to the family Christmas party and invited each grandchild to choose some. The Christmas angels will be shared next year. It’s the start of our household downsizing phase. A very small start, but definitely a beginning.

What’s next? Bill’s ancient electronics are definitely on the table. For decades, they were treasures. In the age of computerized electronics, they are archaic. Then we’ll go on to the household items of which we have too many.

Friends warned that downsizing would not be easy. I envisioned delighting locals with a yard sale where they could find great stuff for pennies on the dollar. Then we considered how much work that is. Maybe it’s time to call in Junk Monster instead. You pay him to take it all away.

I have heard it said about material things – First you wish you had them, then you own them, then they become a burden. That’s where we are.

When Bill and I combined our households, five truckloads of furniture, books, domestics and glassware went to the church thrift shop. I hope they have room for more stuff, because I feel it going their way, as we shrink our belongings and organize our life for a simpler time.

P.S.

I am pleased to say that we resisted the temptation to rent storage lockers as a final resting place for our stuff. We have seen friends pay heavy money over time to secure belongings eventually tossed or sold at auction. Even worse, to will stuff to heirs who move it to their own stowage in the absurd cycle of life-long holding.

[Show #608]

New Friends

Backstory – New Friends

I have this habit of twisting my hair when I’m thinking. Catching myself doing it one day, I started wondering if that annoys anyone. And out of that thought, came this story.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

New Friends – #361

Remember what it was like as a kid to make a new friend? The tentative moves toward each other and the total delight when you each found in the other, something you enjoyed and wanted to repeat.

Of course adults have many more facets than children – a lifetime of experiences… political opinions… habits and preferred behaviors.

We recently met a couple with whom we had a lot in common. We enjoyed their company except for one habit they had. We discussed whether that was a deal breaker or whether we wanted to be their friends nonetheless. We decided the latter.

So when they behave in that odd way, we just shrug and say, “That’s our friends being who they are.” Then we move on to the next fun time we enjoy with them.

Compromise? Sure. But how do we know that they are not compromising with some behavior that we exhibit. They may be kindheartedly tolerating us in the same small degree that we are them.

Another thing we learned from childhood is not to resent their having other friends. We need not do everything together or see everything in the same light. To hear an opposing view from someone we respect may just open our minds to new truths and preferences.

If their hearts are pure and we share the same values and principles, the friendship is probably worth nurturing.

P.S.

Have you made enjoy-in-person new friends through social media? Or do you find that digital friends remain in that venue?

[Show #361]