friends

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

Backstory

This story has been a favorite with listeners and readers since it first appeared in 2009. We repost once a year.

The story came to mind when I was thinking about the most influential people in my long, eventful life. Some for a monumental moment or two and some, never willing to part with. See who comes to mind when you Consider This.

A Reason, a Season, a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed or just felt. They have come to assist you through a hard time, to provide you with guidance and support, and to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Then, suddenly, the person disappears from your life. Your need has been met; their work is done.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share or grow or give back. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They give you great joy. Believe it; it is real. But only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons—things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all your other relationships.

Think about the people in your life over the years. Whether they were there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your life.

And when they are gone, be thankful for the gifts you received from them when they were here—for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

P.S. Who came to mind as you followed this story? Were you gratified when the time with them was up? Is the memory still vivid, even though so long ago? Would you change anything about your time together? Has it inspired a comment or two to share – or a whole story? I’m listening attentively, with a smile.

[Show #456]

Friends With Quirks

Backstory

Who is on your guest list for your July 4 picnic? Relatives? Friends? Strangers? Do any of them have odd habits? In today’s cancel culture, it seems that any detour off the path of normalcy could get you wiped out. I started thinking about it, and this is what I came up with.

Friends with Quirks

We have some friends with funny quirks. They do things that irritate or with which we do not agree. They may not have the same political beliefs that we do. Sometimes we wonder if we should jettison these friends with their quirks.

Now understand that I am a big believer in throwing away people who are negative in your life. Don’t keep them around! They will only pull you down. But friends with quirks . . . that’s different.

As I was analyzing their worth, quirks and all, something else occurred to me. I have quirks too – habits that may drive them crazy; beliefs they may question. Do you realize that right now they may be discussing ME and the weird quirks I have? They may be deciding whether to jettison me.

Hmm. Maybe this is worth a second consideration. I love these folks, quirks and warts and all, and I hope they love me, imperfect as I am. It took us a long time to find each other and truly see into the soul of each other. Each of us knows the other will never be perfect.

We’d better treasure what we can, put up with the rest, and consider ourselves very fortunate to have such good friends who put up with us too, quirks and warts and all.

P.S. How generous are you in forgiving quirks? Would you ever call out a friend or relative about their odd habit? Would you appreciate their pointing to yours?

[Show #484]

Sisters

Backstory

Keep in touch! That’s the cardinal rule of sister relationships. It’s the responsibility conferred when friendship is offered or accepted. Contact is especially appreciated by friends who are aging and slowing down. You recognize how vulnerable your sister circle is as you watch it shrink.

The digital age offers so many opportunities for staying in touch; texts, e-mails, facetime, zoom, social media with its glorious array of catch-ups, and of course handwritten notes that speak from the heart.

I started thinking about the impact of sisters in my life, and this story developed.

Sisters

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A sister is never farther away than needing her can reach.

She can be a blood relative . . . or a sister through marriage or someone who has become like a sister over time.

The women in your life are there to laugh with you and cry with you, to cheer when you rise and soften the blow when you fall – – – loving without judgment or envy or blame.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you….or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters. mothers, aunts, nieces, grandmothers – they all bless our life!
And as the years go by, that bond means even more. It becomes more precious each day. You can’t turn back the clock, but you can rewind it – with help from the sisters in your life.

Don’t take them for granted. Cherish them. Tell them how you feel about them and how they make you feel.

Don’t let another week go by without sharing with them how much you love them and appreciate them.

P.S. Loneliness becomes a major issue as the years pile up. Hearing from a sister is a joyful antidote. If your life is still busy, it might be tempting to just skip reaching out today. Your older sisters in particular are worth the effort to keep in touch. Think I’ll jot a note off right now. How about you?

[Show #319]

Feeling Love

Backstory

On Valentine’s Day last month, a friend was bemoaning the absence of romantic love in her life. She felt sad about it. So we started talking about the love that she DID have, rather than the one she lacked. What a revelation. She found she was surrounded by unrecognized and unappreciated love.

Feeling Love

We did a show a few months ago on love as seen through the eyes of children. Eight-year-olds gave their version of how you can SEE love. It showed that love can indeed be observed and identified.

Love is something extraordinary that happens to ordinary people. And when it does, it absolutely transforms. It turns the mundane into delight. It causes smiles, laughter, and even giddiness.

Love is exemplified by being kind, and thoughtful. Doing something special is just natural when you love someone. You WANT to go the extra mile and make things better for them.

It is not limited to an age or a style or a type. Romantic love may be the kind that is most celebrated but the love within families is just as strong. And in this age of extended families and non-traditional families, love can extend in endless directions.

Consider yourself fortunate and be grateful if you have love in your life. Look for love, enjoy it, nurture it, revel in it.

It’s that something special that turns the ordinary into the extraordinary and it’s amazing how you find it in the most unexpected places.

P.S. An elderly friend found love at the Moose Lodge. With few friends of her age left, she became a groupie with the young waitresses. They chat when she has lunch there. She brings them little craft gifts she makes. You can just feel the love and mutual respect being conveyed across the counter. Yep, the most unexpected place. Step up and get yours.

[Show #641]

Life

Backstory

In recognition of her fortieth birthday, my daughter wrote a list of the things she has done – significant and ordinary. They tracked a life well lived that produced a mature woman of strength and well-defined values. It got me thinking. So much learned and so much left to comprehend.

Life

I was thinking the other day about the things I’ve learned in life so far.

On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles four different things – a rainy day…the elderly…lost luggage, or tangled Christmas tree lights.
I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life.’
That children grow up much too fast, right before your eyes.
That it’s a lot better to do it right away than to put it off.
I discovered that life sometimes gives you a second chance, and sometimes a third and a fourth.
I believe you should not go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it can elude you. But if you focus on family, friends, and the needs of others, happiness will come looking for you.
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

P.S. Learning is essential to our existence. Today’s inclusive culture requires discovering new ways of relating to people, both those who have been staples in our lives and the new acquaintances evolving. What an exciting time to learn anew and expand our individual worlds.

[Show #366]

The Ocean Awaits

Backstory

Since the pandemic took over our lives, we’ve become accustomed to postponements and cancellations. Events and visits and plans are on, they’re off; mask, no mask, warnings on, warnings off. This week’s story is about an attitude to adopt to help navigate these turbulent waters.

The Ocean Awaits

We came down to Florida for a few weeks’ respite before the madness of the holiday season. Since we arrived, we’ve done little of consequence. And that’s the way it was supposed to be.

No Rotary meetings…no social events…nothing for which we must prepare or cook or copy.

It was several days before we made our way to the ocean. It beckons as you drive down A1A. It is sometimes seen, sometimes heard. You’re always aware of it, reminded by the surfboard toting young men crossing the road, the families walking, laden with beach stuff, the turtle protectors with their lighted helmets. We enjoyed our first view of the ocean. It was about 8 p.m. and the entire beach was covered with the incoming tide. Very different from the sandy beach spotted with swimmers and sun-worshippers that clog the space during the day.

The next time we planned to walk the beach, it rained. The next, we got home late from shopping. Then our vigorous session at the gym left no energy for beach walking. Suddenly it was time to leave and we had only been to the ocean once.

I feel guilty. Like we’ve broken some law of nature. The only saving grace – Next time we come down, the ocean will still be there, proud and awesome, awaiting and welcoming our visit.

P.S. Some things can’t be counted on to always be there, like the ocean. People, for instance. Put off a visit to a friend or relative long enough and they may no longer be there. No guarantee. Plan that visit and make that call. I’m going to – right now.

[Show #371]