Advice and Encouragement

Heartbreak

Backstory

In times like these, it can seem like everything is going wrong. Emotional hurts on top of all the larger issues can be overwhelming. Time to take stock and get real.

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Heartbreak – #171

As life progresses, you find it doesn’t always follow the path of fairy tales to the “live happily ever after” ending. You may be let down by the one person you thought would always support you. You’ll have your heart broken, probably more than once. You’ll break hearts too.

You’ll fight with your best friend; you’ll blame a new love for things done by an old one. You’ll speak harshly or you’ll be impatient. You’ll realize the time is passing too fast and eventually . . . you’ll lose someone you love.

How can you protect yourself? Take lots of pictures, digital and mental. Laugh too much, love like you’ve never been hurt. Be there, even for those that have let you down, because every 60-seconds you spend upset or angry is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin.

P.S.

Life does begin, more than once. Your new beginning may be just around the corner. Or it may have already happened, and you just haven’t recognized it yet. Be open to the new experience. Explore it, look at it from different angles. Be willing to open up to love and friendship again. It’s worth the risk

[Show #171]

Using Your Gifts

Backstory

If you love what you do for a living, you will never work a day in your life. I have found that to be so true. It happens when you use the gifts you were given.

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Using Your Gift – #637

What’s it all about? Why are we put here on this earth? What is expected of us?

There comes a time in life when you start asking those questions and looking for answers. I have. Perhaps you have too.

Each of us have been given different gifts and I believe we are expected to use them to make the world a better place. Some of us can affect things on a global scale, others have little influence beyond our own kitchen. But I think we fulfill our destiny when we figure out our God-given gifts and use them daily for the better good.

God didn’t impart them to you just to hang around. He expects you to use them. Whether you are playing the piano, crocheting afghans, tending flowers, curing diseases, or kissing children good night. You do it very well.

You may be the organizer, or the one who comes up with the good ideas. Or the one who moves things from discussion to action. Your gift may be that you can give of your time, or your money.

Choose the big world or your small intimate world and go make it a better place. It’s expected of you and it pleases God when you do.

I like what Maya Angelou said about this, “My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

P.S.

My jobs have always involved writing, composing, presenting thoughts to the world. I was sure my children appreciated the intellectual significance of what I create at that keyboard. Then I heard someone ask my son what I do for a living. He responded, “She types.”

[Show #637]

The Small Stuff

Backstory

When I looked around, while in lockdown, I started re-imagining my future in simpler terms. Here are some of the views that evolved.

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The Small Stuff – #632

There comes a point in your life when you decide to enjoy the birds and the trees in your view,

rather than worrying about whether the grass is cut.

In the words of Richard Carlson, “Don’t sweat the small stuff . . . and it’s all small stuff.”

Life is too short and too valuable to spend it on small stuff. Decide who matters and who never did, who won’t matter anymore, and who always will. Keep close to you, those who bring you joy and laughter. Separate out those who bring darkness into your life. Decide who you want to help and learn how to say no with a smile and a hug.

THAT may be the hardest of all. But it’s your RIGHT to make those decisions. It’s your life. Don’t worry about people from your past, who should not be allowed in your future. Leave room in your heart for new friends and connections yet to come. Treasure those who are with you now and show your appreciation.

Repay kindness . . . do favors . . . give of your talents. Take the time to create memories that matter for you and those you love. Creating new memories takes time. Take the time. Of all the gifts we can give, memories of happenings you’ve created may just be the most precious of all.

P.S.

Some of the happiest retired folks I know are those who are now taking the time for friends, neighbors and relatives. It is these relationships that give them the most joy these days even though the connection may have to be electronic.

[Show #632]

New Dishes

Backstory

Do you still get a kick out of a new toy, like when you were a kid? I have to admit, I do. And I really get excited when the toy arrives in my kitchen.

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New Dishes – #353

I have new dishes! It’s been a long time since I got new dishes.

They are square and stark white and the food looks really good on them. They’re very different from the Corelle that filled my kitchen cabinets when the kids were growing up. Those indestructible bowls and plates made it through the roughest of days and the wildest of baby food tossing. So did the plastic glasses festooned with cartoon characters. They encouraged consumption of many a gallon of milk.

The good dishes were always kept in the china cabinet in the dining room. But they didn’t just sit there and get dusty. I used them for company, for Sunday dinner, for special date night dinners with my husband. They’re beautiful. Silver trimmed with blue flowers on them. I still have them and they still get used.

But the new square dishes are our current favorite. Food seems more exotic on them somehow; even when it’s kielbasa and sauerkraut or spaghetti and meatballs. Maybe it’s the shape, or that there is no design on the glass fighting for attention with the food on the plate.

For whatever reason, the square dishes are now very “in” and I am enjoying them.

P.S.

A table I visited recently went in the totally opposite direction. Family members visit thrift shops and buy mismatched but beautiful plates, bowls, dishes and serving pieces. The pieces are so inexpensive that they toss them and buy new every few months. Their dinner setting is a cacophony of colors and styles. They too find joy in their new dishes.

[Show #353]

Pen Pal

Backstory

Handwritten notes? In the day of briefest possible communication like tweets, texting and Instagram? Here’s the story of how that came about.

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Pen Pal – #331

“Do you think Grandma would like to be my pen pal, ” my 10-year old grandchild asked her mom. We live several hundred miles away from each other and I don’t have a chance to engage in grandmotherly things like attending her ballet classes or watching her play softball. And now, she had come up with the idea of writing to each other.

Well, we’re both on Facebook, we both have computers, we both email each other, but here she was wanting to do something more personal and to me something very precious. I agreed in a moment and we began a stream of communications that kept the postman hopping.

I bought her return labels for her envelopes with her name and address on them and the greeting, Hi Grandma! She sent me messages of one or two sentences or whole pages worth of observations and questions and endearments full of sweet 10-year old innocence.

Yes, some wound up on the refrigerator where I secretly hoped that visitors would read her charming text. Others were packed lovingly in a box to be returned to her in 10 or 20 years to reacquaint her with the young girl she once was. Perhaps by then to have a daughter of her own with whom to share.

I am so pleased to be the pen pal of this special little person.

P.S.

Well, she IS now 10 years older. No daughter to share this with yet, so I’m keeping the ribbon tied box for when that event comes along. Once scrolled to paper, her words are mine forever.

[Show #331]

Smile

Backstory

Mom used to encourage me to smile. She wisely taught that you can get away with a lot if you present things with a big smile. I got a lot of traction with that advice, so I thought I’d pass it on.

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Smile – #305

The other day, we did a show about losing weight and the struggle it can be. It was meant to make you smile. I hope it did. We know that a healthy body is important enough to work on it. But it can also have ironies that are humorous to say the least.

I like to smile, don’t you? I heard once how many facial muscles it takes to smile and a lot, lot more to frown. So, the decision to smile a lot is a good one, an easy one. One that brings rewards such as smiles returned and a feeling that perhaps you are lifting the day for someone who has not had many smiles that day.

What makes you smile? The face of a child, a kiss on the cheek, an email from a friend, an unexpected compliment? Maybe a youngster adorably struggling to learn a new skill? Well, I hope there are many things that bring a lift to your lips.

Smiles taste good and look good too! They’re like an instant facelift. They’ll do more for your sex appeal than stilettos or a hairpiece.

Are you smiling yet? Take a look in the mirror, next time you do. See how appealing you look wearing your favorite smile.

Here’s hoping you have cause to smile often today and every day.

P.S.

And if you have a bad day and can find absolutely no reason to raise the corners of your lips, may you come in contact with people who are smiling. Borrow one of theirs. You can always give it back.

[Show #305]

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