Story Library

Heartbreak

Backstory

In times like these, it can seem like everything is going wrong. Emotional hurts on top of all the larger issues can be overwhelming. Time to take stock and get real.

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Heartbreak – #171

As life progresses, you find it doesn’t always follow the path of fairy tales to the “live happily ever after” ending. You may be let down by the one person you thought would always support you. You’ll have your heart broken, probably more than once. You’ll break hearts too.

You’ll fight with your best friend; you’ll blame a new love for things done by an old one. You’ll speak harshly or you’ll be impatient. You’ll realize the time is passing too fast and eventually . . . you’ll lose someone you love.

How can you protect yourself? Take lots of pictures, digital and mental. Laugh too much, love like you’ve never been hurt. Be there, even for those that have let you down, because every 60-seconds you spend upset or angry is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin.

P.S.

Life does begin, more than once. Your new beginning may be just around the corner. Or it may have already happened, and you just haven’t recognized it yet. Be open to the new experience. Explore it, look at it from different angles. Be willing to open up to love and friendship again. It’s worth the risk

[Show #171]

New Friends

Backstory – New Friends

I have this habit of twisting my hair when I’m thinking. Catching myself doing it one day, I started wondering if that annoys anyone. And out of that thought, came this story.

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New Friends – #361

Remember what it was like as a kid to make a new friend? The tentative moves toward each other and the total delight when you each found in the other, something you enjoyed and wanted to repeat.

Of course adults have many more facets than children – a lifetime of experiences… political opinions… habits and preferred behaviors.

We recently met a couple with whom we had a lot in common. We enjoyed their company except for one habit they had. We discussed whether that was a deal breaker or whether we wanted to be their friends nonetheless. We decided the latter.

So when they behave in that odd way, we just shrug and say, “That’s our friends being who they are.” Then we move on to the next fun time we enjoy with them.

Compromise? Sure. But how do we know that they are not compromising with some behavior that we exhibit. They may be kindheartedly tolerating us in the same small degree that we are them.

Another thing we learned from childhood is not to resent their having other friends. We need not do everything together or see everything in the same light. To hear an opposing view from someone we respect may just open our minds to new truths and preferences.

If their hearts are pure and we share the same values and principles, the friendship is probably worth nurturing.

P.S.

Have you made enjoy-in-person new friends through social media? Or do you find that digital friends remain in that venue?

[Show #361]

Using Your Gifts

Backstory

If you love what you do for a living, you will never work a day in your life. I have found that to be so true. It happens when you use the gifts you were given.

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Using Your Gift – #637

What’s it all about? Why are we put here on this earth? What is expected of us?

There comes a time in life when you start asking those questions and looking for answers. I have. Perhaps you have too.

Each of us have been given different gifts and I believe we are expected to use them to make the world a better place. Some of us can affect things on a global scale, others have little influence beyond our own kitchen. But I think we fulfill our destiny when we figure out our God-given gifts and use them daily for the better good.

God didn’t impart them to you just to hang around. He expects you to use them. Whether you are playing the piano, crocheting afghans, tending flowers, curing diseases, or kissing children good night. You do it very well.

You may be the organizer, or the one who comes up with the good ideas. Or the one who moves things from discussion to action. Your gift may be that you can give of your time, or your money.

Choose the big world or your small intimate world and go make it a better place. It’s expected of you and it pleases God when you do.

I like what Maya Angelou said about this, “My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

P.S.

My jobs have always involved writing, composing, presenting thoughts to the world. I was sure my children appreciated the intellectual significance of what I create at that keyboard. Then I heard someone ask my son what I do for a living. He responded, “She types.”

[Show #637]

The Small Stuff

Backstory

When I looked around, while in lockdown, I started re-imagining my future in simpler terms. Here are some of the views that evolved.

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The Small Stuff – #632

There comes a point in your life when you decide to enjoy the birds and the trees in your view,

rather than worrying about whether the grass is cut.

In the words of Richard Carlson, “Don’t sweat the small stuff . . . and it’s all small stuff.”

Life is too short and too valuable to spend it on small stuff. Decide who matters and who never did, who won’t matter anymore, and who always will. Keep close to you, those who bring you joy and laughter. Separate out those who bring darkness into your life. Decide who you want to help and learn how to say no with a smile and a hug.

THAT may be the hardest of all. But it’s your RIGHT to make those decisions. It’s your life. Don’t worry about people from your past, who should not be allowed in your future. Leave room in your heart for new friends and connections yet to come. Treasure those who are with you now and show your appreciation.

Repay kindness . . . do favors . . . give of your talents. Take the time to create memories that matter for you and those you love. Creating new memories takes time. Take the time. Of all the gifts we can give, memories of happenings you’ve created may just be the most precious of all.

P.S.

Some of the happiest retired folks I know are those who are now taking the time for friends, neighbors and relatives. It is these relationships that give them the most joy these days even though the connection may have to be electronic.

[Show #632]

The Annoying Husband

Backstory

A friend started telling about recent hassles with her husband. She referenced numerous irritating habits and grievances. Once she started looking at him through fresh eyes, things changed dramatically.

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The Annoying Husband – #644

How about that husband of yours? Sure gets on your nerves at times, doesn’t he? You get annoyed by some of the things he does. And what’s really frustrating are the things he doesn’t do.

Lots of promises, no action. Reminds me of the joke, “When a man says he will do something, he will do it. He does not need to be reminded every six months.”

Well, you can go ahead and be annoyed, or you could take a different look at it. Those things that annoy you, do they really matter?

There are millions of people yearning for a life companion and they can’t find one. Ask how fussy they would be about perfection, if they had a person who loved them, who they could talk to and share with.

Next time you are busy getting annoyed, think about the way he makes you feel; he way you feel when you look at him, or hug him, or watch him with your children.

Are you overlooking the good points and dwelling on the needy? Maybe a change of your attitude would make a difference. If you love him, be sure to tell him today. Right now. Give him a break from complaints – voiced or thought of. Substitute loving acceptance and see what happens. Could make life happier for you both.

Something to consider.

P.S.

There’s also a simple approach that can positively affect the family culture too. Introduce frequent use of “please” and “thank you.” It even works on teenagers – sometimes.

[Show #644]

New Dishes

Backstory

Do you still get a kick out of a new toy, like when you were a kid? I have to admit, I do. And I really get excited when the toy arrives in my kitchen.

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New Dishes – #353

I have new dishes! It’s been a long time since I got new dishes.

They are square and stark white and the food looks really good on them. They’re very different from the Corelle that filled my kitchen cabinets when the kids were growing up. Those indestructible bowls and plates made it through the roughest of days and the wildest of baby food tossing. So did the plastic glasses festooned with cartoon characters. They encouraged consumption of many a gallon of milk.

The good dishes were always kept in the china cabinet in the dining room. But they didn’t just sit there and get dusty. I used them for company, for Sunday dinner, for special date night dinners with my husband. They’re beautiful. Silver trimmed with blue flowers on them. I still have them and they still get used.

But the new square dishes are our current favorite. Food seems more exotic on them somehow; even when it’s kielbasa and sauerkraut or spaghetti and meatballs. Maybe it’s the shape, or that there is no design on the glass fighting for attention with the food on the plate.

For whatever reason, the square dishes are now very “in” and I am enjoying them.

P.S.

A table I visited recently went in the totally opposite direction. Family members visit thrift shops and buy mismatched but beautiful plates, bowls, dishes and serving pieces. The pieces are so inexpensive that they toss them and buy new every few months. Their dinner setting is a cacophony of colors and styles. They too find joy in their new dishes.

[Show #353]

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