Love and Kindness

The Small Stuff

Backstory

When I looked around, while in lockdown, I started re-imagining my future in simpler terms. Here are some of the views that evolved.

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The Small Stuff – #632

There comes a point in your life when you decide to enjoy the birds and the trees in your view,

rather than worrying about whether the grass is cut.

In the words of Richard Carlson, “Don’t sweat the small stuff . . . and it’s all small stuff.”

Life is too short and too valuable to spend it on small stuff. Decide who matters and who never did, who won’t matter anymore, and who always will. Keep close to you, those who bring you joy and laughter. Separate out those who bring darkness into your life. Decide who you want to help and learn how to say no with a smile and a hug.

THAT may be the hardest of all. But it’s your RIGHT to make those decisions. It’s your life. Don’t worry about people from your past, who should not be allowed in your future. Leave room in your heart for new friends and connections yet to come. Treasure those who are with you now and show your appreciation.

Repay kindness . . . do favors . . . give of your talents. Take the time to create memories that matter for you and those you love. Creating new memories takes time. Take the time. Of all the gifts we can give, memories of happenings you’ve created may just be the most precious of all.

P.S.

Some of the happiest retired folks I know are those who are now taking the time for friends, neighbors and relatives. It is these relationships that give them the most joy these days even though the connection may have to be electronic.

[Show #632]

The Annoying Husband

Backstory

A friend started telling about recent hassles with her husband. She referenced numerous irritating habits and grievances. Once she started looking at him through fresh eyes, things changed dramatically.

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The Annoying Husband – #644

How about that husband of yours? Sure gets on your nerves at times, doesn’t he? You get annoyed by some of the things he does. And what’s really frustrating are the things he doesn’t do.

Lots of promises, no action. Reminds me of the joke, “When a man says he will do something, he will do it. He does not need to be reminded every six months.”

Well, you can go ahead and be annoyed, or you could take a different look at it. Those things that annoy you, do they really matter?

There are millions of people yearning for a life companion and they can’t find one. Ask how fussy they would be about perfection, if they had a person who loved them, who they could talk to and share with.

Next time you are busy getting annoyed, think about the way he makes you feel; he way you feel when you look at him, or hug him, or watch him with your children.

Are you overlooking the good points and dwelling on the needy? Maybe a change of your attitude would make a difference. If you love him, be sure to tell him today. Right now. Give him a break from complaints – voiced or thought of. Substitute loving acceptance and see what happens. Could make life happier for you both.

Something to consider.

P.S.

There’s also a simple approach that can positively affect the family culture too. Introduce frequent use of “please” and “thank you.” It even works on teenagers – sometimes.

[Show #644]

New Dishes

Backstory

Do you still get a kick out of a new toy, like when you were a kid? I have to admit, I do. And I really get excited when the toy arrives in my kitchen.

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New Dishes – #353

I have new dishes! It’s been a long time since I got new dishes.

They are square and stark white and the food looks really good on them. They’re very different from the Corelle that filled my kitchen cabinets when the kids were growing up. Those indestructible bowls and plates made it through the roughest of days and the wildest of baby food tossing. So did the plastic glasses festooned with cartoon characters. They encouraged consumption of many a gallon of milk.

The good dishes were always kept in the china cabinet in the dining room. But they didn’t just sit there and get dusty. I used them for company, for Sunday dinner, for special date night dinners with my husband. They’re beautiful. Silver trimmed with blue flowers on them. I still have them and they still get used.

But the new square dishes are our current favorite. Food seems more exotic on them somehow; even when it’s kielbasa and sauerkraut or spaghetti and meatballs. Maybe it’s the shape, or that there is no design on the glass fighting for attention with the food on the plate.

For whatever reason, the square dishes are now very “in” and I am enjoying them.

P.S.

A table I visited recently went in the totally opposite direction. Family members visit thrift shops and buy mismatched but beautiful plates, bowls, dishes and serving pieces. The pieces are so inexpensive that they toss them and buy new every few months. Their dinner setting is a cacophony of colors and styles. They too find joy in their new dishes.

[Show #353]

Pen Pal

Backstory

Handwritten notes? In the day of briefest possible communication like tweets, texting and Instagram? Here’s the story of how that came about.

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Pen Pal – #331

“Do you think Grandma would like to be my pen pal, ” my 10-year old grandchild asked her mom. We live several hundred miles away from each other and I don’t have a chance to engage in grandmotherly things like attending her ballet classes or watching her play softball. And now, she had come up with the idea of writing to each other.

Well, we’re both on Facebook, we both have computers, we both email each other, but here she was wanting to do something more personal and to me something very precious. I agreed in a moment and we began a stream of communications that kept the postman hopping.

I bought her return labels for her envelopes with her name and address on them and the greeting, Hi Grandma! She sent me messages of one or two sentences or whole pages worth of observations and questions and endearments full of sweet 10-year old innocence.

Yes, some wound up on the refrigerator where I secretly hoped that visitors would read her charming text. Others were packed lovingly in a box to be returned to her in 10 or 20 years to reacquaint her with the young girl she once was. Perhaps by then to have a daughter of her own with whom to share.

I am so pleased to be the pen pal of this special little person.

P.S.

Well, she IS now 10 years older. No daughter to share this with yet, so I’m keeping the ribbon tied box for when that event comes along. Once scrolled to paper, her words are mine forever.

[Show #331]

Smile

Backstory

Mom used to encourage me to smile. She wisely taught that you can get away with a lot if you present things with a big smile. I got a lot of traction with that advice, so I thought I’d pass it on.

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Smile – #305

The other day, we did a show about losing weight and the struggle it can be. It was meant to make you smile. I hope it did. We know that a healthy body is important enough to work on it. But it can also have ironies that are humorous to say the least.

I like to smile, don’t you? I heard once how many facial muscles it takes to smile and a lot, lot more to frown. So, the decision to smile a lot is a good one, an easy one. One that brings rewards such as smiles returned and a feeling that perhaps you are lifting the day for someone who has not had many smiles that day.

What makes you smile? The face of a child, a kiss on the cheek, an email from a friend, an unexpected compliment? Maybe a youngster adorably struggling to learn a new skill? Well, I hope there are many things that bring a lift to your lips.

Smiles taste good and look good too! They’re like an instant facelift. They’ll do more for your sex appeal than stilettos or a hairpiece.

Are you smiling yet? Take a look in the mirror, next time you do. See how appealing you look wearing your favorite smile.

Here’s hoping you have cause to smile often today and every day.

P.S.

And if you have a bad day and can find absolutely no reason to raise the corners of your lips, may you come in contact with people who are smiling. Borrow one of theirs. You can always give it back.

[Show #305]

More Need Help

Backstory

When the pandemic and lock-down surged forward, many proud Americans found themselves in a compromising position. Their situation called for behavior and emotions unknown to them.

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More Need Help – #294

Recent years have brought new struggles to families here. People who never before needed help, suddenly cannot be as independent as before. They may reach out to relatives to share living quarters. They may not be able to make ends meet. They may need the help of food stamps or food banks, or even shelters.

When you’re too proud to show you need help, things may only continue to get worse. You can find yourself reeling from the effects on you and your family. It takes a tremendous amount of strength and will to pull through times like this.

Perhaps the most courage of all is being willing to ask for help. When you’re not used to needing help, it’s not easy to speak up.

If you are in this position, I urge you to work up the courage. Reach out and let someone know what you need. It may not be a lot but with some help you may be able to make it through with a lot less pain.

There are people who can help you get through the official system. There are people who will help you privately, quietly, with compassion. From churches, community groups, neighbors, sponsors, you may be surprised to find out how many ways people can and will help.

But it can only happen if they know you need help. It’s okay. When you’re back on your feet you can help others again. For all the caring you’ve done in the past, let someone help you now.

P.S.

Seniors found generous new help. Those sheltering in place at home were concerned about exposure to the virus by grocery shopping or fast food pick up. Dozens of sources sprung up to provide food delivery to the front porch. All they had to know was who needed it.

[Show #294]

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