Love and Kindness

Haves and Have Nots

Backstory

In these months of constantly present hidden threat, optimism tends to wane, along with thankfulness. Reflecting on our state reminded me of an earlier time, when Americans were left without jobs and without income. This story is about that time for my family and what we learned.

Haves and Have Nots

“Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.” I first heard that mantra back in the 70’s. Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

At the time, we were living in our first house. It was a nice three-bedroom split level in a residential development. But somehow after a few years, the house seemed small. We needed more garage space, more bedrooms. I wanted bigger, better.

Then the recession hit. Security became very wobbly. The things I had assumed I deserved and would always be mine were being challenged. I might not have a job. My husband might not. Oh boy, how I wish I had those hundreds of dollars we spent on last year’s vacation.

Suddenly I looked around my beautiful, perfect, plentiful home and said, “Please God – Just let us keep up the payments. Let us keep this roof over the heads of our children.”

Well, we did survive. The whole country did. Things turned around and we did eventually move on. But I never forgot the lesson I learned then. It may help you too.

Be thankful for what you have, not for what you don’t have.

P.S.

While sheltering in place during the pandemic, we have been thankful for thoughtful outreach, small and large. A team of walkers have a favorite route through our community. We sometimes glimpse them at wave distance. One day as they jogged through, they left candy and hand-written notes of blessing on porches. Gestures like that, especially from strangers, really make a difference. They remind us of the joy, friendship and kindness waiting on the other side.

[Show #108]

Believe in Love

Backstory

Have you been in love? How do you explain the feelings engendered by the very nearness of your beloved? What mixture of internal chemistry creates those flashes of ecstasy? Those were the questions pondered by this newly smitten, curious but confused scientist.

Believe in Love – #418

I believe in love, always have. I met someone several years ago who had never been in love. Oh, he loved – his nieces and nephews, his parents, and good friends. But he never felt the passion of having someone in his life who mean more to him than life itself.

And then it happened. He found her and they became soulmates. At last, he knew what it was to be in love.

He was a scientist. As he experienced these new feelings, he insisted on understanding what created them. What made him light up when she walked into the room? Why were all standards of beauty now set by her?

His true contentment came when he stopped trying to understand why and allow the feeling to just wash over him, to consume him, to be a part of his very being. He’s a changed man, now that he’s found and accepted love.

I guess I’m glad that I’m not a scientist. I don’t need to understand what makes it feel so good to be in love.

I believe in the sun, even if it isn’t shining, I believe in God even when He is silent, I believe in love even when I’m alone. And those beliefs bring me joy and contentment. I hope they do the same for you.

P.S.

It’s a pleasure to report that twelve years into his love affair, the scientist remains smitten with the woman of his dreams, who is now his wife. Happy Valentine’s Day.

[Show #418]

What Love Is About

Backstory

This is a very personal and precious memory of once upon a time. Days and months and years have passed, but my soul still smiles at how it felt just to have him in my mind.

What Love Is About – #452

Sometimes I’m just sitting and doing my work, a thousand thoughts fluttering across my brain, frantically trying to capture the ideas appropriate to the moment with a project at hand. Suddenly the memory of his smile spreads across the cluttered landscape of my mind and I have to stop and smile back.

It helps keep me from reverting to the old workaholic habits. It makes me pace myself and stop taking it all so seriously. It makes me glance at the clock to count the hours until I can see that smile in person and feel that embrace and give back and enjoy every moment of it.

I know that we will share whatever circumstances the day has caused. Physical pain, frustration, laughter, success, or just quiet contentment for another day’s work done. It makes a difference when he is near. The very air I breathe is better, sweeter, fresher, more invigorating. He is the backdrop for my daily joy in life.

So this is what love is all about. It’s all about how the other person makes you feel. Special, loved, treasured. Why didn’t someone tell me sooner!

P.S.

Is it OK to have such thoughts of someone from the past, if you now have a new love? Oh my, yes. Love always deserves to be remembered. Not flaunted, but quietly, reverently remembered and enjoyed.

[Show #452]

Just Like You

Backstory

The song was from the If You’re Going Through Hell album by country singer, Rodney Atkins. It was titled Watching You and it was released in 2006. It’s the tearjerker behind this story.

Just Like You

There’s a country song I love. A father is singing about his young son who lets loose with a profanity. “Where did you learn to speak like that?” the father demands. “From you daddy,” the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

Later in the song, the father is redeemed when he hears his son speak original words to God and asks where he learned to pray like that. “From you daddy”, the child responds. “I wanna be just like you.”

How often do we wonder where one of our children gets an attitude, or a prejudice, or passion? Often, we just need to look in the mirror to find the source. The things that you say and do everyday influence everyone around you; for the good, and for the bad.

So, when you decide what kind of stance to take, think twice about what you say. The position you take may well become the same one your children will carry into the next generation. You may never hear your child say, “Mommy, I want to be just like you.” But how often has it occurred to you, “Oh my God, I have become my mother” or “I have become my father.”

When that thought occurs to your child, make sure it makes them smile, not frown. And when your children become you, make sure they can be proud of the person they’ve become.

P.S.

In 2021, there is more need than ever for parents to display the traits you want offspring to emulate. Are you standing up against bullying? Have you explained ways to channel anger? Have you practiced conversations that respect all points of view? Kids are on a new playing field these days that may require patient consideration and discussion. Be sure your children can find that at home.

[Show #485]

The Art of Downsizing

Backstory

Just how to start downsizing. That was the question. Most families realize that at one time or another, they’re going to need smaller space that will only accommodate less “stuff.” That time finally arrived for us and here’s how we went about it.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

The Art of Downsizing – #608

I gave away seven gaily painted nutcrackers and ten wooden toys. They were part of our Christmas decorations, as the children were growing up, and long after. I took them to the family Christmas party and invited each grandchild to choose some. The Christmas angels will be shared next year. It’s the start of our household downsizing phase. A very small start, but definitely a beginning.

What’s next? Bill’s ancient electronics are definitely on the table. For decades, they were treasures. In the age of computerized electronics, they are archaic. Then we’ll go on to the household items of which we have too many.

Friends warned that downsizing would not be easy. I envisioned delighting locals with a yard sale where they could find great stuff for pennies on the dollar. Then we considered how much work that is. Maybe it’s time to call in Junk Monster instead. You pay him to take it all away.

I have heard it said about material things – First you wish you had them, then you own them, then they become a burden. That’s where we are.

When Bill and I combined our households, five truckloads of furniture, books, domestics and glassware went to the church thrift shop. I hope they have room for more stuff, because I feel it going their way, as we shrink our belongings and organize our life for a simpler time.

P.S.

I am pleased to say that we resisted the temptation to rent storage lockers as a final resting place for our stuff. We have seen friends pay heavy money over time to secure belongings eventually tossed or sold at auction. Even worse, to will stuff to heirs who move it to their own stowage in the absurd cycle of life-long holding.

[Show #608]

When Christmas Is Sad

Backstory

On my sad Christmases, I would write. The keys on my computer would fly. It might be spilling all my sorrow, putting my anger into words, shouting out the injustice of my circumstance. Others shed tears to cope. Some go away, avoiding the setting of their last happy holiday. Others return to that special place. Some folks are lost, seeking a means to calm the hurt.

Click to listen or follow below to read.

Christmas Sad – #123

There are times when Christmas is sad. You may be missing a loved one, or you may be far away from home, on your own, or you may be the one left behind with your loved one serving of a battlefield halfway across the world. Sometimes it helps to remember not only this sad Christmas, but all of them, stacked up in a row from childhood until now.

Considering all of the holidays in our lifetime, some are bound to be better than others. But, ah, the good ones were really fine. Think about them and you’ll simply HAVE to smile as you remember words and actions, laughter and love.

Take out photos and relive those times, so warm and loving. No one can take those precious memories away. They may be the greatest gift we were given. Once a good thing happens, it can always be conjured up again in your mind. It can always make you smile as you remember, relive and enjoy it all over again.

So this Christmas, whether it’s one of your best or not, may you have the comfort of memories of Christmases past and may you smile and enjoy them all over again.

Wishing you a Christmas with a peaceful heart.

P.S.

It’s so easy to become sour when holiday plans go awry or you are sad. You want to blame someone or take it out on somebody. Instead, do something for someone else – or a lot of elses.

Take over someone’s job so they can be home with family on Christmas.
Serve at a soup kitchen – dressed up nicely for the holiday.
Sit with someone who is ill, so the caregiver can be with family.

As the holidays rush upon us, don’t become the Grinch who stole Christmas. Help bring peace on earth to your little corner of the world, no matter what.

[Show #123]